Ask the Horror Icons
by Spidey3000
Summary: Have you ever wanted to ask Freddy why he wears the sweater? Or Jason why he kept Freddy's head? Well you're in luck, cause I've captured several Horror movie Icons to answer whatever questions you have! R&R, or Hannible will eat a kitty.
1. The Horror Begins

Spidey3000: Welcome, You all know me as Spidey3000, but my real name is...-car drives by and honks horn loudly- though you can call me Spidey30, or just Spidey for short. Are you a fan of horror movies? Ever want to ask Freddy why he's so messed up? Or Jason why he kills? Or Ash why he's such a badass? Well now is your chance, cause I'm about to kidnap them and others for your entertainment. Anime characters will also make randomn cameos for no reason what soever. You may ask questions via reviews, and perform actions by placing them between - signs, for example -Slaps people who don't intend to review- Now to introduce our first guest, Ashley J. Williams!

-Ash appears out of nowhere-

Ash: Come get some...where the hell am I?

Spidey: You in an ask fic. You will be forced to answer questions of anyone who reviews.

Ash: Noooooooooooooo! -falls to knees and laughs insanely-

Spidey: And now for our second prisoner...I mean guest: Freddy Krueger!

-Freddy appears out of nowhere-

Freddy: Hey, where's that female dog Lori? And where the derogatory term for sexual intercourse am I? And what's with filtering the profanity?

Spidey: I'll answer those questions in order: probably still in her bed sleeping, you're in a secret location that I won't disclose at this time, and I'd like to keep this T-rated thanks. Oh, and this is an Ask fic in case you're wondering.

Freddy: But I thought they only did that with Naruto characters?

Spidey: Not anymore they don't. Our next guest shall be...

Freddy: female dog I'll kill you! -charges at Spidey-

Spidey: -kicks him in the balls, then throws him across the room- Don't mess with the author, I have crazy ninja skills. I also have author powers. Observe. -Freddy is suddenly mauled by an enraged kitten- Now don't mess with me, or I'll put you in a Freddy/Jason Lemon, understand?

Freddy: -gulps- Yes boss, whatever you say.

Spidey: Good, speaking of Jason, he's our next guest!

-Jason appears-

Jason:...-walks toward Spidey with Machete-

Spidey: Um...look it's Freddy!

Jason: -walks towards Freddy-

Freddy: You're goin' down this time! -fights Jason for several hours-

Jason: -returns from fight with Freddy-

Spidey: So who won?

Jason:...

Spidey: Really? I never expected that. Now before you try to kill me, how would you like to be able to talk? -uses author powers to give him ability to talk-

Jason: Like you could give me the...I can talk! Now I can finally express myself without murdering teenagers...

Spidey: Really?

Jason: Yes...but it's gonna be hard to give up killing.

Spidey: Well that's good. Now on to our next guest: Hannible Lector.

-you guys know the drill by now-

Hannible: Where am I? Wait, let me guess: this is some sort of Ask fic, and I'm making a cameo. Where are the Naruto characters than?

Spidey: There are none, this is a horror movie ask fic inspired by a Naruto ask fic. You will begin to answer questions as soon as I get reviews.

Hannible: And why should I stay here? I'm quite smart enough to escape on my own, so I really don't need to stay here. And there is nothing you could do to convince me to sink so low as to be in an Ask...

Spidey: How about a lifetime supply of meat, and five minutes in the closet with Clarice?

Hannible: Done!

Spidey: I have a bad feeling I'm gonna go bankrupt. Now for our next two guests: Clarice Sterling, and Michael Myers.

-they appear out of nowhere-

Hannible: -to Clarice- Would you like to spend five minutes in the closet with me doing things that I'd rather not mention due to the fact that this story is most likely T-rated?

Clarice: No...

Hannible: -gets sad look on face-

Clarice: Make it ten minutes! -drags him into closet-

Spidey: Well, looks like I won't have a problem getting her to stay without violence.

Michael: -pulls out butcher knife, and walks towards Spidey-

Spidey: Before you kill me, I have something you might want. -holds out an old, worn out stuffed unicorn-

Michael: Rainbow Mane? -grabs stuffed animal and hugs it- I thought they took you away from me!

Spidey: You can talk? I thought you were mute?

Michael: I could talk all along, I just chose not to. Now what do you ask of me?

Spidey: How about staying here and answering questions from reviewers?

Michael: OK.

Spidey: Now there are only two more guests, so I'll just summon them both at once: Sidney Prescott, and Norman Bates.

-Norman Bates appears out of nowhere, followed by Sidney, who was apparently in the shower when she was summoned-

Sidney: _I'm singin' in the rain, I'm happy agai_...-screams when she notices she's not in the shower anymore and surrounded by males-

Spidey: -nosebleeds and faints-

Norman: -gets weird look in eye and talks like an old woman- Oh dear, this woman is naked, she must have been trying to seduce my poor dear son. She shall have to be punished! -charges at Sidney-

Sidney: _Heeyahl!_ -kicks "Mother" right in the happy place- Any body else want some? You've got about ten seconds to tell me what the heck is going on before I bust out a can of whoopass on you all!

Hannible: -walks out of closet- Spidey, this is embarassing but do you have any Via...oh dear, the author seems to have fainted. I shall take over this story till he wakes up. Sidney was it? Yeah, as for where we are, I have no idea, but we are apparently in some kind of ask fic for horror movie Icons.

Sidney: Wait, I thought only Naruto characters got into ask fics; what are we doing here?

Hannible: Well, Spidey probably thought some other characters should get ask fics. We should ask him when he's concious.

Spidey: -wakes up- Did I miss any...-sees Sidney naked, and faints again-

Sidney: Well, maybe if I had some clothes, he won't faint again next time.

Hannible: That's a great idea! I've already found where he keeps the clo...

Clarice: -sticks head out of closet- Hannible come back to the closet.

Hannible: Gotta run! -goes back in closet-

Spidey: -wakes up again- Well, that's all the characters, please review, the story depends on it.

Ash: So what do we do now?

Spidey: We wait for reviews.

Freddy: Well, what are we gonna do till we get reviews?

Spidey: Hmm... Sidney, start dancing.

Sidney: Why should I?

Spidey: -pulls out Sidney's diary- "Dear Diary, Today I watched...

Sidney: OKAY! How about some music? -gets music, and starts dancing-

-all the males except nosebleed and faint-

Sidney: Read and Review, and you can watch me dancing naked! -keeps dancing-


	2. The Naked Hug Begins

Spidey: I'm back, with reviews. Thank you everyone that reviewed. Hannibal disclaim.

Hannibal: Spidey3000 does not own Evil Dead, Nightmare on Elmstreet, Red Dragon/sequels to Red Dragon, Psycho, Scream, Halloween, or Friday the 13th. All he really owns is this secret hideout that he won in a game of poker with Wonder Wo...-Spidey sticks hand over throat-

Spidey: Skullblade knows exactly how I got said hideout, so if you let him find out that I got it from Wonder Woman when she was drunk during a poker game, he'd know that it was...crap.

The Sacred and Profane

Ha Ha Ha! Great start. Here's some questions:

Ash have you found any new ladies in your life?

Freddy, will you ever be in another movie again?

Hannibal, who would win in a fight between you and Jigsaw?

Spidey: Thanks.

Ash: Well, I've been dating a girl named Anko for a while now...and I'm gonna marry her on Halloween!

Freddy: Wait, I'm in movies? The why don't people fear me enough for me to kill them in their dreams?!

Hannibal: Well, I'd win of course, I mean I'm smarter, stronger, more intelligent... -lights go out, then come back on with Hannibal missing-

Spidey: Someone must have kidnapped him. But how did they get aboard my spac...special hideout? Oh, well, he can't really leave very easily. I'm sure Hannibal will be fine.

Meanwhile, Somewhere else on the shi...special hideout.

Hannibal: -wakes up in a dirty bathroom- Where am I?

Jigsaw voice: I'd like to play a game...

Hannibal: Ah crap.

Back with Spidey

Snowzinger 5

HAHAHAHA! This is funny!! But I also have questions. Ash: Any new ladies in your life? Are you ever mobbed by fangirls? Freddy: Do you realise that Jason will always be better than you, and that you will probably need a high explosive missle coupled with the power of a low grade nuclear weapon to actually kill Jason? Jason: Do you ever change clothes? Micheal: Your favorite food is...? Sidney: Do you realise you give everyman within a hundred yards nosebleeds? Spidey: There room for a Boilerplate cameo?

Ash: I just answered that question. And I wasn't aware that I had fangirls. -gets mobbed by fangirls- Ah, get em off, get em off!

Spidey: How did they get here? Oh well...-pulls fangirls off Ash, and throws them outside-

Freddy: -puts Snowzinger's name on list- Spidey, can I borrow your high explosive missile coupled with the power of a low grade nuclear weapon?

Spidey: No, get your own.

Jason: Why would I do something crazy like that?

Michael: Pizza! I love pizza, though I haven't had any for a while, do you have any? DO YOU? -goes through withdrawls-

Sidney: It's not my fault I'm so sexy. Maybe if Spidey would give me some clothes...

Spidey: Never! -nosebleeds-

Boiler Plate: Hi, Spidey, I don't have much time, but can I borrow your highly explosive missile coupled wit the power of a low grade nuclear weapon?

Spidey: Sure, I got loads of 'em

Boiler Plate: Thanks. Bye, good luck with the fic. -leaves-

Spidey: Next question.

Skullblade

Sidney: You are no match for Hinata! Micheal: -steals mask- Jason: -makes mute again- You're cooler this time. Freddy: -enters his dreams- What should I do... That's it! -shows Freddy my mind, and F Skullblade's mind- Hannibal: How about some intelligent conversation, without eating people? Ash: -throws Anko at him- Spidey: have Hinata say hi! -throws Hinata in-

Sidney: Of course not, she'd kick my ass. Wouldn't you Hinata?

Hinata: Damn straight. It's good to see you again Sidney. -both girls hug-

Michael: But the mask is the only thing that protects me from fangi... -mobbed by fangirls-

Jason: But...-goes mute-

Freddy: -screams in fetal position- Must fight back! -shows Skullblade images of Freddy naked-

Spidey: I bet that scarred him for life, especially with Sharingan and Byakugan activated. (those are eye powers from Naruto, go look it up)

Hannibal: -back from Jigsaw already- But I'm hungry. Can't I just have one little human brain?

Ash: -catches Anko- Hail to the king baby! -makes out with Anko for several hours till both pass out from lack of air-

Spidey: HINATA! -joins hug-

Hinata: -from hug- Good to see you too Spidey, but we're kind of naked here.

Spidey: I noticed. -keeps hugging- Must...not...nosebleed!

Sidney: Is he always this perverted?

Hinata: No...he gets more perverted at night.

Spidey: Well, that's it for this chapter. I will update when I get three more reviews...and someone ask Norman something, he's getting lonely. -points to Norman, who is sitting in a corner alone- Well, feel free to dump iconic horror movie characters in this story. Until then, I have a naked hug to continue! Wait, this isn't right... I should get naked too!

Hinata/Sidney: NO!

Inner Hinata/ Inner Sidney: Heck freakin' yes!

Spidey: Please review...or Freddy will send pictures of him naked to your dreams!


	3. The Ackwardness Begins

Spidey: I'm back, with answers! Unfortunately, they will probably leave you with more questions.

Snowzinger5

Tell Freddy if he comes into my dreams ill personally mail him LXG:2007, a hardcover copy right to the temple. Or maybe I can sick Mask on him? Also for Norman: Knife? What other weapons do you like to use. And also a question for all of them: Favorite Video Game, any of you guys play on Xbox Live?

Spidey: Will do. -turns to Freddy- Stay out of Snowzinger's dreams or he'll either hit you with a book, or sick an odd man with green make-up on you. And since the Justice Lea...unnamed previous owners just happened to have an X-Box 360, the answer would be yes for all of them, except for Hannibal and Clarice, they spend their time...doing other things.

Freddy: Bring it on! My favorite game is none of your business.

Spidey: It's probably...

Freddy: I do not play Hamtaro! It's all a lie I tell you. -pulls out a gameboy, and plays a game that looks suspiciously like that Hamtaro game-

Spidey: -thinking- I wasn't gonna say Hamtaro!-done thinking- OK, I believe you -coughs- are lying! -coughs- And my favorite videogame is Super Smash Bros. Melee. If I owned a Nintendo Wii, Super Smash Bros Brawl might be my favorite. -cries- Why couldn't I have a Wii? Why why why?! -gets over it-

Hinata: Any game featuring my Naruto-kun. -sighs- However, I also like Super Smash Bros.

Spidey: And she can beat anyone using Jigglypuff, no matter what character they have...

Hinata: -blushes-

Jason: The Sims, specifically the console version, though the computer version has better cheat codes.

Sidney: Super Smash Bros. I'm one of three people who can beat Spidey, right next to Hinata and Spidey's friend, -car honk-

Spidey: Well, that was years ago and I wasn't as skilled as I was now.

Sidney: ...who also didn't own a Gamecube or Super Smash Bros. Oh, and I just played you minutes ago, so you can't use that excuse with me. I am the Zelda master! Oh, and the other is Hinata.

Spidey: I challenge you to Super Smash Bros.! -plays Super Smash Bros. with Sidney-

Ash: The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. -everybody looks at Ash- What? It's a great game!

Michael: I love all Mario games, even Super Mario Land. Rainbow Flower wants to tell you his favorite game too.

Rainbow Flower: ...

Michael: That's a good game too.

Hannibal: Transformers: Autobots.

Clarice: Transformers: Decepticons.

-both look at eachother and smile-

Hannibal: -picks up Clarice bridal style- Closet?

Clarice: You know it! -is carried into closet-

Norman: My favorite game is Animal Crossing. It's such a delightful game. I don't know, ask mother. -suddenly gets weird look in eyes, and walks into another room, then comes out dressed like an old woman-

"Mother": My favorite video game, that's an odd question to ask an old woman like me, but I'd have to say "Destroy All Humans" is my favorite game. Oh, I use all sorts of weapons: chainsaws, regular saws, flamethrowers, rocket launchers, katanas, Jians, knives, butterknives, and of course, my cooking utensils! It may seem like a bit much, but I do what I can to keep those whores from taking my Norman away from me.

Spidey: That's almost as disturbing as that video tape of Freddy dancing naked. Next question.

The Sacred and Profane

Another hilarious chapter! Here's some more questions: Ash who in the heck is Anko? Where did you meet her? How's the hand? Freddy would Pinhead kick your butt in a fight? Michael did you know that you're wearing a William Shatner Mask? Sidney what movie are you from?

Ash: She's my favorite Naruto character, I met her in another story called "Ask The Ninja's" by Skullblade, and it's a big movie star now. It's gonna be in the next "Adams Family" movie and it's got some other minor rolls too. It sends me money now. And before you ask, no, we already have a best man, and a maid of honor.

Spidey: -mouth hangs open in shock- Oh my gosh, I've found an Anime/Manga that you haven't heard of! -has heart attack- Luckily, I will help you get over this. This link will take you to my favorite website for the Naruto manga. http://groups. You can also get some of the episodes of the anime off U-tube.

Hannibal: I wouldn't answer that question Freddy, remember what happened when...

Freddy: Shut up old man! -turns to The Sacred and Profane- I would kick Pointy Brain's ass! See? Nothing happened! He ain't man enough to take on...-several chains with hooks on the ends come out of nowhere and drag Freddy away-

Freddy: Oh, hey Pinhead, funny meeting you here. I was just kidding, no don't! -screams in a pitch Michael Jackson can't even reach-

Hannibal: I warned him.

Spidey: This seems to be forming a pattern...

Michael: It's not a Willaim Shatner mask! It's a Captain Kirk mask! Dr. Lumis stole the rest of the costume. -everyone gives Michael odd looks- What? I'm a Trekky and proud of it!

Sidney: Scream 1, 2, and 3. Ironically, there was a different killer in all of them, but I survived all three, because I am the Master of Zelda! And I'm good at surviving attempts on my life by crazed killers who call ahead, but mostly because I'm the Master of Zelda!

Spidey: Well I am the Link Master!

Sidney: -falls on the ground laughing-

Spidey: -sobs- You're so mean.

Hinata: It's alright, she just makes fun of you cause she sucks with every character but Zelda. I'd hug you but I'm already hugging you.

Spidey: Oh yeah, we're still in the hug! -cheers up- Maybe we should break it off before Naruto gets jealous...

Hinata: Naruto can hug me whenever he wants. However, I've got to go to the little kunoichi's room, so we'll have to continue this some other time. -breaks hug, and runs off-

Spidey: Well Sidney I guess this means the hug is over... next question:

Sidney: -still hugging Spidey- The hug has just begun!

Skullblade

Sidney: Where are you from again? Hinata: -joins hug- Don't worry, I won't get naked. Micheal: -gives mask back- A valuable defense, indeed. Jason: Weren't you an overweight child? Freddy: I've seen Orochimaru naked. That doesn't faze me. Hannibal: Have fun with Jigsaw. Spidey: -keeps from getting naked- Don't use Author powers to make Inner people say stuff!

Sidney: -still hugging Spidey- I already answered that, but I like answering it, so I'll tell you again: I'm the main girl from all three Scream movies. I am also the Master of Zelda!

Hinata: -comes out of bathroom and rejoins hug right before Skullblade joins- Really? -grins- Cause I know what you and Spidey look like naked. And I really wouldn't have minded him being naked, but I belong to Naruto-kun.

Michael: -still being mobbed by fangirls- Help me! -hand sticks out of mob, holding stuffed unicorn- Protect Rainbow Flower!

Spidey: I'll give this to him when I get the chance, but I don't wanna go anywhere near those psychopaths.

Jason: -stabs Skullblade, then throws him out the airlock-

Spidey: He's still mad about you making him mute. He was going to tell you something important.

Meanwhile, In another room

Freddy: -with pinhead, but somehow able to answer- It gets worse! -shows him OrochiManda fanart- That should keep him out of my head. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go play Hamta...er... Halo.

Pinhead: You're not going anywhere! -continues torturing-

Freddy: No, not the OrochiManda! -screams in notes so high that Michael Jackson has to cover his ears-

Back with Spidey

Hannibal: I escaped, but I'll admit that escaping from Jigsaw was fun. Though I don't want to do it again. Not that he'll be able to catch me again with my new NIGHT VISION GOGGLES! Let him try and turn the lights off again, it won't help him...-falls through trap door-

Jigsaw's voice: Our game has just begun.

Hannible: -as trap door closes- Ah crap. -trapdoor closes-

Spidey: Why did they even have that trapdoor? Oh well. I decided not to get naked. And I didn't make them say anything, I just read their minds. But I won't do it again, unless they think something really funny, or raunchy... 7HA7'5 WHA7 1 80RR0W3D 51DN3Y'5 D1AR1ES F0R!

Sidney: What did he say Hinata?

Hinata: Don't know, I wasn't really paying attension.

Sidey: I wish I spoke fanboy.

Spidey: Well, I guess this hug has to come to an end, no matter how wonderful it is. -starts to leave hug-

Hinata/Sidney: -pull him back in- Where do you think you're going?

Spidey: But I gotta pee.

Hinata/Sidney: Too freakin' bad!

Sidney: If you review, we'll let you join the hug!

Spidey: Must...hold...bladder! R&R


	4. The Terror Begins

Spidey: I'm back, with weapons! Any body want a missile coupled with a low level nuclear weapon? I'm giving them away for free!

Freddy: Can I have one?

Spidey: No, get your own, you freakin' pedofile. Now disclaim.

Freddy: He doesn't own me, or these other idiots he's gathered, though he is in charge of everything that happens to us in this story. -mumbles- Stupid jerk wouldn't give me a damn missile...

Spidey: What did you say?

Freddy: -trembles in fear- Er...Spidey is...er, the author, so that means that I should do what he says without complaint .

Spidey: I thought so, now for our first question.

The Sacred and Profane

I have heard about Naruto Spidey I just haven't memorized the 40 billion characters it has. Great chapter as usual and here's some more questions: Ash did S Mart give you disability pay? Freddy why can't you beat teenagers? Sidney have you watched Party of Five? Clarice what do you see in Hannibal I mean the guy did brainwash you so why aren't you pissed at him?

Spidey: Sorry, Anko was the first character so far to lick Naruto. She was in charge of the second test in the Chuunin exam, and she used to work for Orochimaru, but he cast her aside, so she joined Konoha. And to be honest, I don't remember all the characters either. Since this was inspired by a fic by Skullblade, there may be more Naruto characters, so if you don't know one, then just ask me.

Ash: If by disibility pay you mean cut my pay cause I couldn't work as fast due to a disibility, then yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hurt someone named Orochimaru.

Freddy: I've killed many teenagers. However there's always one -female dog- that figures out how to kill me...in fact, that seems to happen to Jason too.

Sidney: What's Party of Five?

Clarice: Yeah, but underneath the insane murdering mask he wears under the sane, gentleman mask he wears, he's really sweet... And he makes love like an animal! This one time he... -story censored for reason of being too perverted even for this story's standards-

Spidey: Clarice, this fic is T-rated, and nobody really wanted to know that. Next question:

Skullblade

Sidney: Indeed. Hinata: Nah. I don't really like being naked. Jason: -picks up spilling guts- Hmm... intrigueing. Freddy: I've seen worse. -throws him into a fic with a gay Akatsuki- Hannibal: -gives random ninja- That should help you. Sai: Why am I here? Skullblade: I'm hoping you die. Micheal: -dives in after him- Spidey: Horror Icons, eh? -throws in Micheal Jackson-

Sidney: -busy playing Super Smash Bros, and hugging Spidey-

Hinata: I don't like you being naked either; you just happened to be standing there when I used Byakugan. I do think you're awesome though. Can I please have Naruto-kun? I miss him.

Jason: -ties Skullblade to the ceiling by his intestines-

Spidey: Hey, that kinda reminds me of what I threatened to do to Yamikyuubi after he tried to ruin Ash and Anko's relationship. I'd should save him, but I want to see what Jason is trying to say... you could give him his voice back and he wouldn't have to say it in such a painful manner.

Freddy: -from fic- Well, it's better than what Pinhead was doing to me. And I have worse images yet! -shows him image of Voldemort, Orochimaru, and Michael Jackson doing nonT-rated things- I got them from Pinhead!

Meanwhile, inside the trapdoor

Ninja: I'm here to save you... -coughs and blacks out-

Hannibal: crap.

Several Hours later

Ninja: -wakes up chained to the wall- Where am I?

Jigsaw's voice: I'm glad you could join our little game, Kakashi!

Kakashi: How did you know it was me?

Jigsaw: This volume of Icha Icha has your name on it. And it you want it back, you're going to have to play our little game.

Kakashi: Crap.

Back with Spidey:

Michael: -puts mask back on- You saved my life. I shall do you a service! -stabs Sai, but paralizes him for life instead of killing him- Now he's ready to be tortured. Do you have anybody else you'd like me to take care of?

Michael Jackson: -looks around- Look at all the naughty little boys -twiddles fingers with anticipation-

Michael: Everybody run! It's the only pedofile that's scarier than Freddy!

-everybody runs to a different room, except Sai-

Michael: Damn, there goes all the naughty little boys.

Sai: -still able to talk- help me, please

Michael: Yay, a naughty little boy! -walks toward Sai-

Sai: Crap.

With Spidey

Spidey: -in room with big T.V.s that show various parts of the hideout- Hello? Where is everybody? Wait, this is the room with all the cameras, which means I could be the guy that watches the killer get everybody else, then tries to leave, then gets killed...but I'm also the author and the main character, so it could go either way. I might even get reunited with the group, but get scared out of my mind... -hand grabs shoulder, causing him to jump- Ah! Oh, It's you thank God.

Sidney: Thank God your alive! -hugs-

Spidey: -hugs back- Thank God you're still naked!

Sidney: You're such a pervert.

Spidey: I know! Well, this is the end of the chapter. If there are any killers you want me to include, tell me so I can consider bringing them into the story, though Ghostface will not be present, since Sidney would kill him. Or tazer them, but that's even worse cause she tends to make that more painful than usual.

Sidney: I always aim for the happy place! -pulls out tazer-

Spidey: Review, or you'll never know what happened to everyone else.


	5. The Invasion Begins

Spidey: I'm back with awesomeness. We are still experiancing Michael Jackson related difficulties, but we'll find a way! Until then, we're passing the time with Super Smash Bros.

Sidney: I am the master of Zelda!

Spidey: I'm the Link Master.

-both violently press buttons till the game system explodes-

Spidey/Sidney: -drop controllers and stare in shock-

Spidey: Well, there goes the Gamecube. No more slacking off. We need a way for everyone to answer questions.

Sidney: I hope they're all OK, we haven't been able to contact them.

Spidey: More importantly, I hope the radios I gave them all so we could contact them in case of emergency are OK, I paid good money for those things.

Sidney: Wait, we could use the radios...in fact, we could have used them the whole time you freakin' idiot. Why didn't you use them earlier?

Spidey: I...um...er...look we have a review!

Snowzinger5

Hey Spidey, Lemme have five minutes with Freddy and he can see how powerful we Alien Space Bats are... Also I suggest,

Mask

Kai-Lo.

Spidey: Alien Space Bats? I'm calling the MIB! -call them- What do you mean you can't get here for five hours? -hangs up- Alright, you can have him. -puts walkie talkie to ear- Freddy, do you read me? Snowzinger is an Alien Space Bat, and wants to borrow you for five minutes. Over.

Pinhead: -voice speaks on radio- You can't have him, he's mine! Over.

Freddy: -on radio- No, not the Narusasu! That's the worst torture in existence!

Michael Jackson: -on radio- I hear the cries of a naughty little boy!

Pinhead: He's mine, do you hear me? MINE!

Michael Jackson: Wait, you mean that thing? Ew, even I wouldn't touch that. You can have it.

Spidey: -puts down walkie talkie- I guess that means no. But I will let in Kai-Lo, though if he pisses me off he's dead.

-Kai Lo appears-

Kai-Lo: Where the -vulgar term for sex- am I?

Spidey: You're in an ask fic, deal with it.

Kai-Lo: Damn it. Well from now on, I'm in charge. -pulls out gun- You, -points to Spidey- get me some food. You -points to Sidney- Dance erotically for my pleasure, and you -points to Hinata- jump up and down!

Spidey: Nobody does that to my girls! -goes into protective fanboy mode- Kiss my arse! -breaks gun, picks up Kai-Lo, and throws him out of the room- Oh, Michael, theres a naughty little boy here for you!

M. J. : Naughty little boy!

Spidey: -closes door-

Kai Lo: -on radio- What the -vulgar term for sex- are you? No, don't...-screams, then gets real quiet-

Spidey: I might let the Mask in later, but his cameo will also be brief. This is for Horror movie icons, though Hinata is still here because she's fun to hug. -hugs- Wait a minute, Hinata, how did you get in here?

Hinata: I don't know. I ran blindly around the hideout for a while and ended up here.

Spidey: Well, I'm glad you're here, now we just need to rescue the others...next question.

Skullblade

Sai: I have had a change of heart about you! MJ: -beats to a bloody pulp- That's for trying to molest little boys! Jason: -hanging- I'm interested to see the end. Micheal: No, because it was technically my fault... Freddy: -falls asleep- Hannibal: -kills random person and gives remains- Jigsaw: -sits next to him- If you try to kill me, you will be one fed up puppet. That, and I want to see the game! Ash: I'm already missing you.

Sai: -on radio- It's a bit late now that I've been paralized and all.

M. J. : -regenerates- The naughty little boy is tickling me.

Jason: -spray paints him till he's most colorful than most pinatas-

Spidey: Hmm, he must be trying to tell you something, since his only way of expressing himself since you took his voice is killing...

Michael: -on radio- I forgive you. Raibow Flower is still angry though. Over.

Freddy: -makes him have dreams about Naruto and Sasuke that aren't T- rated at all- That's the worst pairing yet.

Hannibal: -eats remains, then talks on radio- Thanks, but why does it taste suspiciously liked snake meat? Over.

Jigsaw: I'm not a puppet, I just use a puppet to hide my true identity. Damn you people who made "Scary Movie 4"! Sorry, but you have to play a little game before you can hang out down here, then you can join them. -points to Kakashi and Hannibal, who are playing Super Smash Bros Brawl on a Nintendo Wii-

Spidey: -talks into radio- Are you guys OK?

Kakashi: -on radio- This place isn't so bad. It even has a large amount of pictures of Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batgirl, and Hawk Woman naked.

Spidey: So that's where Robin hid his porn. I knew he had a stash somewhere!

Ash: -on radio- Is that you Sword Noggin? I miss you too, but I'm kinda preoccupied hiding from Michael Jackson right now. Over.

Spidey: Well, as long as he doesn't find any crack, we might be able to contain him, and there is no crack in the hideout, though I always kinda suspected the Questioner had a stash somewhere.

M.J.: -finds crack- Whoa, that's some good stuff. -summons army of zombie and starts singin "Thriller"-

Spidey: -covers ears- That song sounded alot better when he was black and not high on crack. Hey that rhymed. Review, or the Alien Space Bats will take over the world, and I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing.


	6. The Fight Begins

Spidey: I'm back, with randomness. Sidney, diclaim.

Sidney: He doesn't own any of the characters in this story except himself.

Spidey: Well said, now dance naked.

Sidney: -glares-

Spidey: Um...look, review!

Skullblade

Jigsaw: I was playing along. Don't think I don't see you behind me, old dying guy. Micheal: -walks away- Jason: This is fun. Freddy: I've seen worse. -throws him into a MJ, Orochimaru, and Voldemort lemon- Ash: -sprays with old people scent- That will keep him away from you. Sai: -heals and erases memories- Kakashi: Just so you know. I stole your book.

Jigsaw: Get out of here already...unless you want to play a game. In which case, would you like the "Up Yours" trap...I mean game, or the "Down Yours" game?

Michael: You dropped your pictures. -picks up- Hey what is the man with the huge eyebrows doing to the... -gets scarred for life- My eyes, they burn!

Jason: -grabs baseball bat and starts hitting Skullblade-

Spidey: -still trying to guess what it means- Um... you want a pinata? You want YamiKyubi? Wait, you want me to beat up Yamikyubi?

Jason: -smacks face with hand-

Freddy: -on radio- Yay, I'm free from Pinhead...what the -vulgar term for sexual intercourse-? I'll show you! -throws him into the Yaoi dimension-

Pinhead: You took my toy away! I'll take your woman! -abducts Sakura- She will learn to enjoy her suffering!

Sakura: Not the SasuHina!

Ash: -on radio- Thanks Sword Noggin, but he doesn't have a sense of smell, or even a nose for that matter.

M.J. : I hear the sound of a naughty little boy!

Ash: -runs-

Sai: -on radio- Where is this place? Who am I? Who the Hell are you people?

Kakashi: -on radio- What? Must...kill...Skullblade! -goes on mythical quest to kill Skullblade-

Spidey: Damn, now Hannibal's all alone with Jigsaw...I'll have to send Clarice down there. -calls Clarice on radio, and sends her down to be with Hannibal- Hey, I hear moaning and groaning...oh my gosh, the rumors are true! -turns off radio-

Snowzinger5

And we will control the world from But seriously...-grabs Kai-Lo by the back of his shirt- "I hate you Snowzinger! I sure hope your entrails rot in-" "Shut up before I toss you in front of Shermans March to the sea in 1864." "-whimpering pitifully- Yes Master." And Spidey...good job.

Spidey: From where? Well, you'll never find my hideout, which is totally not a spacestation orbiting the Earth that was formerly used by the the Justice League. -evil laugh- And thanks. If you were to take over the world, how would an author such as me please his new Space Bat overlords? Next question.

The Sacred and Profane

Ash, will you star in Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash and could you please kill them for good. Freddy, you've become annoying, did you know that? Jason, talk more in the movies buddy, okay? Hinata, why in the heck are you hanging around Spidey what about Naruto, eh?

Ash: Sam Rami said no to that cause he was a control freak, but I'll kill Freddy and Jason if you want. It would be a mercy for them not to be forced into more sequels.

Freddy: Your mom is annoying.

Jason:...

Hinata: He's like a brother to me...a weird perverted brother that watches me in the shower, but still a brother. And me and Naruto are engaged. -shows engagement ring- Spidey has yet to let him in this story. -pouts-

Spidey: I'll let Naruto in if you quit whining about it. Gosh.

-Naruto appears-

Naruto: Wear am I?

Hinata: Naruto!

Naruto: Hinata!

Hinata: Naruto!!

Naruto: Hinata!!

-sunset hug-

M.J.: Naughty little boy! -grabs Naruto and runs off-

Hinata: Naruto! Get your paws off my man you -vulger term for sexual intercourse- ing pedofile! -pulls out rocket launcher and chases Michael Jackson-

Spidey: Something tells me I won't be needing this Michael Jackson repellant much longer.

Hinata: -on radio- Suck this ass face!

M.J.: What are you gonna do? You're just a weak little girl!

Naruto: -runs- See you in hell Pedo-teme!

-start fighting for Naruto-

Spidey: Hmm, Hinata in "Protect Naruto-kun" mode, vs. Michael Jackson in "Crack Zombie" mode. -gets popcorn, and a lawn chair- This is gonna be good. Review, or Hinata may lose, and all hope will be lost. -turns back to fight- Yeah Hinata, you show that pedofile not to mess with angry kunoichi!


	7. UPPF mode begins

I'm back, with insanity! -laughs insanely- Ok, now that that's over, time for disclaimer. Ash...

Ash: -on radio- Spidey doesn't own anybody in this fic except for himself, and the alien space bats will own him soon if he doesn't quit being a wuss and fight already.

Spidey: I'm not a wuss, I believe whole heartedly that they are underestimating the people of Earth, and if they go anywhere near Hinata or Sidney, they'll learn all about my Uber Powerful Protective Fanboy Mode. However, if I do lend them my base I can...-whispers in Ash's ear-

Ash:-grins- Sorry I doubted you red, your crazier than I am.

Spidey: Thank you, now for the first review.

Snowzinger5

We Space Bast will rule the world from your little space station. And also I want you to allow me to send 99 samurais in. Just to mix it up.

Spidey: -eyes shift- What space station? I don't know of any space station. If I did hypothetically own a space station, you'd have to take over the Earth before I let you have it. And these Samurai will have to pass an inspection first, to make sure they are worthy of the name before they come to my hypothetical space station. Right Jack?

Samurai Jack: -pulls out sword- If they are Samurai, they shall pass my test. If not...-notices Alien Space Bats- Alien Space Bats? They must be with Aku! -charges at Alien Space Bats-

Spidey: I also suggest you guys watch "Independance Day" and "War of the Worlds" before attacking my planet. You might get ideas. Next Question.

Skullblade

Jigsaw: I'll do what I want. I'd prefer watching. Would YOU like to play a game? Micheal: -pulls out Men In Black Flasher- Do not ask. Jason: I'm curious. -gives voice back- Freddy: Eh. I've got nothing against gay. Ash: True. -gives an anti-Jackson chainsaw- Sai: -gives specific memories back- Kakashi: Don't worry. I was protecting it incase anything happened to you. Pinhead: Ever see Protective Fangirl/boy/boyfriend/girlfriend Mode? Spidey: I have a person for you! -throws in a stick-figure-like, weird haired guy- His name is Johnny C. You may call him Nny. And what do you think of Dumbledore's new revelation? Hinata: I have something to help you. -holds up a red Pokeball, and a Blue Pokeball- Do you want the red pill, or the blue pill?

Jigsaw: Sure, what kind of game? Oh, and the dying old guy is also a puppet to hide my identity.

Michael: Ask what? I don't remember anything between that flash just now and me picking up this picture...-accidentally looks at picture and gets scarred for life- Ah, get this thing away, I don't want Rainbow Flower to see it! -covers eyes and hands picture-

Jason: -keeps hitting him with bat-

Spidey: Um, you want candy? You want Mexican food? You want Mexicans?

Jason: -hits Skull in the nose-

Spidey: -finally gets it- The only way to kill Michael Jackson is to be in Uber Powerful Protective Fanboy mode, and to attack his nose!

Jason: -stops hitting Skull, and nods-

Spidey: Wait, that means that Hinata's in danger...Hinata!!! -goes into Uber Powerful Protective Fanboy mode-

Freddy: I give up, somebody else go torture him. I'm gonna go enjoy my new freedom from Pinhead. -lights go out and Freddy wakes up in bathroom trap- I'm starting to hate this story.

Jigsaw's voice: I'd like to play a game.

Ash: Thanks, but someone else needs it more than I do. -gives chainsaw to Hinata-

Kakashi: But I already tricked you into drinking that anti-author poison. Must...save...Skullblade! -goes on mythical quest to save Skullblade-

Sai: Thank you nice person who would never send me to a fic where he expects me to die! -hugs Skull- From now on, I shall draw Yuri for you. -draws Skullblade the most arousing fan art ever created- Take it, it's yours!

Pinhead: I am more powerful than Protective fanboy mode, and I know for a fact that Hinata needs to be in danger for you to go into Overprotective Fanboy mode!

Spidey: Baka, he also has an Overprotective Boyfriend mode.

Pinhead: Crap.

Nny: Where am I? I will kill you all for not accepting me, cause I know your not gonna accept me!

Spidey: Dude, you're surrounded by a killers, many of whom are undead. You are not much of a freak here.

Nny: You called me a freak, you will die now! -charges at Spidey-

Spidey: Come get some! Randomn no Jutsu! -bucket of crap falls on Nny's head-

Nny: What the heck? Why can't I breath? Why is everything so dark? Why does it taste like shi...

Spidey: -knocks him out- I kinda knew he'd show up, but I expected S&P to send him over. I don't know much about Nny, so he'll be more OOC than the rest. Still want me to have him? Why do you always send me the weird ones? And what is Dumbledores new revelation? How can he make a revelation when he's dead?

Hinata: -still fighting Michael Jackson- Red please. And could you get me a cinnamin roll? Fighting for hours upon end just makes me hungry.

Spidey: I would have brought some if I'd know she was gonna be here. Next question:

The Sacred and Profane

Great job as usual. Here's more questions: Ash, what do you think of Bruce Campbell? And this one's for Spidey: I thought you were a Selphie fanboy? What happened to her, eh?

Ash: He's got good looks, but he's just not handsome enough to play me.

Spidey: It doesn't really matter since I don't have a chance with either. Hinata is with Naruto, and Selphie will be with Zell if I get a say in it. Zelphie forever!

Sidney: And he doesn't have much of a chance with me either.

Spidey: I'd argue that she obviously likes me, but I've got to go do something rather important, like saving my fanboyish obsession from a crazy, crack high pedofile. -runs down the hall to where Hinata and M.J. are fighting-

Meanwhile, somewhere else.

Hinata: -uses 999 Palms on M.J., and stops all his chakra points-

M.J. : -falls on the ground, seems to be dead-

Hinata: -tired from doing impossible technique- Yay, I won.

M.J.: -gets up- Nothing can kill me you unnaughty litttle girl. -throws punch at Hinata-

Spidey: -catches fist- It's not nice to hit a lady. Naruto, nail this -vulgar term for female dog- .

-boss music from FF8 starts playing-

Naruto: -has Nine Tails out- Rasengan! -hits M.J. in the face with Rasengan-

Spidey: Bane of Saruman! -does technique from Return of the King-

M.J.: -nose is destroyed- But, I'm Michael Jackson...-melts-

Spidey: You were. I bet noone gets what game that last line was a homage to. Now we can face the true threat: Alien Space Bats! Review or I won't be able to tell Orochimaru what happened to his dad.

-Orochimaru appears-

Orochimaru: Father, stop! This is wrong! Hey where did father go?

Spidey: He...um...mysteriously disappeared. Oh, and since this is a horror character ask fic, I'm gonna have to add more horror characters to balance out the large amount of nonhorror cameos. So with Boiler Plate, Hinata, Anko, Kai-Lo, Naruto, Orochimaru, and Nny, that makes seven cameos...so I'll just add a few more characters. Please welcome Leatherface (Hannibal will have to share his meals), Frank from Hellraiser (people forget he was the killer in the first movie), Shawn from Shawn of The Dead (that'll attract the fangirls) Count Dracula (the original of course), and the Frankenstein monster. Review, or I'll have to send them all away.

-goes off to greet newcomers-


	8. Spidey vs Alien Space Bats

I'm back, without Michael Jackson! Now if I could just get the little people to clean up that puddle... I mean come on, he's dead and not coming back.

Little Person: I saw it move.

Spidey: -rolls eyes- Fine, I'll do it. -goes toward puddle with a mop- This isn't so scary.

-bubbles form in puddle, then pop-

Spidey: -screams like a little girl and jumps into Sidney's arms-

Little Person: I told you it was scary. -also jumps into Sidney's arms-

Spidey: Hey, there's only room here for one of us pal!

Sidney: You're right! -drops Spidey-

Spidey: But...but...

Sidney: Sorry Spidey, but he's just adorable, look at those little eyes!

Little Person: -gives puppy dog eyes-

Sidney: Aw. -turns away from Spidey-

Little Person: -sticks tounge out at Spidey-

Spidey: -sticks tounge out at little person-

-both make faces at eachother behind Sidney's back-

Sidney: Well, Spidey's busy being immature, and the little guy is busy being adorable, so I guess I'm in charge. Here's our first review:

Skullblade

Jigsaw: Your game. -snaps fingers- You are now in a bathroom. You AND your puppets. I feel like I'm talking to Sasori... Micheal: -hides picture in pocket- Jason: So that's it. Freddy: -watches on Jigsaw TV- Great progamming JTV! Ash: Ah. Do you want me to bring Linda back to life? But if you cheat on Anko, I will rip out your intestines, make you eat them, then rip them out again and strangle you with them. Kakashi: I'm immune to all poisons! Sai: -looks at picture- You are my 5th student now. Pinhead: -drags Pinhead to an unimaginable, horror-filled world- Have fun in Teletubbie Land! Nny: -lets Nny breath- I like you. Don't die that pathetically. Hinata: Random no Jutsu! Leatherface: Ugly man. Dracula: Die bloodsucker! -throws Van Hellsing at him- Frankenstein: You're not a monster! -hugs- Spidey: DD was "special friends" with GG.

Jigsaw: Yay, game! -is done with game in two seconds- Damn, still couldn't beat Hannibal's record. And you should try talking to Mary-Shaw, then you'll really get confused.

Michael: -still covering eyes- Is it gone now?

Jason: -nods head, then grabs Skull by the throat-

Spidey: Um...you want your voice back so you can answer questions?

Jason: -nods-

Spidey: I'm getting good at this.

Freddy: I'm on t.v.? Help! I can't figure out what he wants me to do!!! Somebody please tell me what I'm supposed to do.

Ash: Um, no thanks, but you could get her soul out of Hell for me. I'd do it myself, but I don't have author powers.

Kakashi: Actually, the Sugar Demon did some experiments on you, and came up with a poison to kill you for no reason what soever. This poison later came into the hands of Mary Sue. There is a cure, but it's kinda hard to find. The poison is very slow acting, but eventually it'll start to kill you. The first symptom is explosive diahrea.

Sai: Yay! Maybe I'll surpass Spidey soon.

Spidey: Well, now you have three student...wait, 5th? I thought me and Tobi were your only students! -gets hurt look-

Meanwhile, in Teletubby Land

Pinhead: Oh my gosh, I'm back in hell already? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Teletubby: Why are you yelling? Do you need a hug?

Pinhead: Die you little freak! -impales teletuby with chain-

Teletubby: -heals- Somebody's been a bad boy, he needs some cheering up!

-other teletubies appear-

Pinhead: -screams in anguish- Alright, you can have her back! Just get me away from this messed up place!

Back with Spidey

Nny: You saved me! -hugs- Now I'm going to kill something so I can get blood! -looks a Spidey- You die now! -charges-

Spidey: Well, I guess you have to learn the hard way; Randomn no jutsu!

Nny: -gets explosive diahrea-

Spidey: Randomn no Jutsu Tres Veces!

Nny: -pisses pants, then vomits, then a piano falls on him- Spidey worse than the Thing. -loses conciousness-

Spidey: Anybody else want some! -looks around-

Everyone except Spidey: No!!!

Spidey: Good.

Hinata: -boobs get bigger- Hey thanks...but Spidey copywrited that jutsu, you need his permision to use it! You can't just...

Spidey: -looks at boobs, then nods approvingly- You have my permission, though you might want me to help you practice it. Within a week, you will be a master of Randomn no Jutsu.

Naruto: I also thank you! -picks up Hinata and carries her into closet- Dattebayo!

Leatherface: -cries in corner-

Spidey: Skull, be nice to the retard.

Dracula: -dodges Van Helsing- I am the master of evil, non of his weapons hurt me anyway. The only thing that can hurt me is a -car honk-!

Van Helsing: -stabs with stakes, throws holy water on, shoots with silver bullets, and even sprays with garlic- How should I kill it sir? -looks at Skullblade-

Spidey: You killed him in the book by stabbing him with a bow...-car honk-

Frankenstein: Friend! -hugs back-

Spidey: If you want to keep him, then you're going to have to feed him, play with him, and clean up after him, OK?

Frankenstein: -gives Skullblade puppy dog eyes- Friend?

Spidey: Oh that? It was an interesting twist, but I knew Dumbledore wasn't a muggle hater...oh, THAT's what you mean? You've been reading "The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore" haven't you? How dare that -female dog- Rita Skeeter tarnish his good name! -gets really angry and says bad words in languages he doesn't even speak- And furthermore, -says badwords in languages that most people don't know exist- Sorry you had to hear that, but I had to get it off my chest. Next Question:

Krystal

Ash: Ash your one cool cat! Frank: -Runs and jump-kicks him in the face- That's for skinning Kirsty's dad, you sick BEEP! Freddy: -Gasps, and teleports to save Freddy- This isn't your day Fred, is it? Oh btw, name's Krystal. I'm also here to save you! -Suddenly, blushes a bit- if ya want me too..

Ash: I know.

Frank: -shifts eyes- I don't know what you're talking about, it was...um...a horrible accident.

Spidey: You accidentally wore his skin?

Frank: I said horrible accident!

Freddy: Thank You! -hugs Krystal- You are now the second person on my "Do not kill" list! -puts name on list-

Spidey: Am I on the list?

Freddy: NO!!! If I had the ability to kill you, I would!

Spidey: Well you don't. Next question:

Snowzinger5

Do you possibly think you can take every Alien Space Bat on? Dude...I could turn that entire place into a pumpkin and then ISOT(Thats speak for teleport) it right in front of Borg Cube. We are the alterers of reality! MUHAHHAHHAHA! Id like to see earth take us on...

Spidey: I'd give my responce to that, but I think Ash can say it better:

Ash: Come get some E.T.!

Spidey: Said like a true hero. Oh, and I'm an author, so I have just as much reality bending power as you do. Plus, I count that as a threat to Hinata, Sidney, and Selphie, so...-goes into new level of Uber Powerful Protective Fanboy Mode- Random No Jutsu! -turns Alien Space Bats' home world and all of their space crafts into Jackolanterns- I'd give a one liner, but that's Ash's department...

Ash: Happy Halloween bat breath!

Spidey: -laughs at one-liner- Well, I'm gonna put up the anti-spacebat shields so they can't bend reality around my ship, or the Earth for that matter. While I'm doing that, please review.


	9. A truce and one bad mother

I'm back, with confidence! Someone just put me on their favorite authors list! Unfortunately, they didn't review, so I don't know which of my stories they liked. So I'll just update this one, then Evil Dead 4: Final Wars, the Harry Potter And The Fellowship of The Horocruxes and finally Ash's Army 2. Yay me! Now someone disclaim.

Sidney: He doesn't own us, but wishes he did.

Spidey: Well said, now for the first question:

Skullblade:

Jigsaw: -stabs in gut- Micheal: Yes. Jason: I already gave it back review before last. Freddy: I see you. Ash: ... And then use your blood to put a fresh coat of red on my wall! Oh wait. I was ranting. What did you say? Kakashi: I know the antidote. It's the hottest hot sauce in the world. Students! Find this hot sauce! Sai: I sense great things in your future. Pinhead: Now you get to go to Care Bear world! Nny: You are the wastelock! You cannot die! Hinata: Random no Jutsu! Leatherface: Aww... it's crying brings me joy. Dracula: ...-stabs with bowie knife- Frankenstein: To the Friend Cave! -runs to Jiraiya's abandoned "Toad Cave" AKA Hut by the hotsprings- Spidey: -gives some mogwais- Don't give them water, put them in the sun, or let them eat after midnight!

Jigsaw: You have failed my test! -dies-

Michael: -takes hands off eyes- Now could you do the flashy thing now?

Jason: So I didn't really need to turn you into a pinata and beat you nearly to death? Oh well. -continues hitting Skull with a bat- This _is _fun!

Freddy: -waves- Hi, stalker.

Ash: I don't remember. Something about Linda and Anko and blood on your wall...

Kakashi: There's only one surviving bottle of it in the world, and the only guy that knows how to make more just died. -points to Jigsaw's dead body- Wonder Woman supposedly kept a bottle of it somewhere on the ship. It should be easy to find since Spidey forgot to bring Hot Sauce with him...

Spidey: -from kitchen- I finally found some hot sauce to put in this spagetti!!!

Kakashi: -enters matrix mode- Noooo!

Spidey: -eats spagetti- Mmm. That meal was so good! Why do I have a strange feeling that I just killed someone without even knowing it? Oh well; It's not like that hot sauce was the only antidote to some sort of horrible poison that's killing someone I know.

Kakashi: -falls to knees with dispare- I have failed you Skullblade...

Sai: Does that mean my art is gonna get sold before I die? Or am I gonna be just like all the other artists before me? Ah, who cares; I make good money as a ninja. -gives Skullblade even more arousing fan art than before-

Pinhead: -bobs head and sings teletuby theme song-

Spidey: It's too late for him, the little alien bastards brainwashed him already. I guess there's nothing we can do for him. -sighs-

Nny: But I hate me...-does emo things-

Hinata: Hey, nothing happened.

Meanwhile, in the Hyuga compound, in Konoha.

Hiashi: -grumbling- stupid weakling daughter ain't worth a shi... -suddenly jerks back- Hinata is my wonderful daughter, and I should apologize for making her life miserable! And I should be nicer to the branch family too. Starting now, there will be no Caged Bird Seal! -runs off to change the Hyuga family forever-

Back with Spidey

Spidey: Your Random no Jutsu has improved, though you kinda used the older version instead of the newer version that always hits the target no matter where you think they are. -teaches him newer version- That's much better! Now will you teach me your Perverted No Jutsu?

Leatherface: -done crying-

Spidey: Seriously, I don't have a problem with dissing on stupid people, but leave the mentally handicapped alone. They can't help being different. It's not his fault that his mom and dad were cousins!

Dracula: -dying- You've made me proud...son. The ingrediants in the hot sauce are...-dies, then disappears in a dark cloud-

Van Helsing: Yay he's dead...I guess. Why do I feel depressed? -leaves room, and cries somewhere- Dracula, why did you have to die before I could kill you? Why?!

Frankenstein: Friend have cave? Cave cool! -sniffs floor- Friend cave unmarked territory...Frankenstein mark territory for friend! -marks territory in Friend cave-

Spidey: Sorry, forgot to tell you he's not poddy trained yet. Don't worry, I'll lend you some newspapers. We're in Earths orbit, so no need to worry about the Sun for a couple of days; and I keep track of the water here; so the only thing we have to worry about is what counts as midnight aboard this thing. Oh well, I'll figure something out. Next question:

Snowzinger5

Why must we fight Spidey. This can all be ended peacefully. Oh and do not touch our ships otherwise I will do this. -secretly ISOTS 20 AK-47 branishing Spartans- Bring it on...

Spidey: -gives them new ships- Ok, I guess we could settle this peacefully. Oh, and those Spartans are no match for my samurai! -Samurai Jack appears- Where are the rest?

Jack: There weren't anymore samurai with you.

Spidey: Oh yeah, I forgot that I only needed one samurai cause you're a badarse.

Jack: Hello Masterchief, long time no see...why are you fighting for aliens that want to conquer the Earth? Let us discuss this over tea...

Masterchief: Sounds good to me. -goes to drink tea with Jack, along with the rest of the Spartans-

Spidey: Well, I guess that just leaves us. I'll try to turn your planet back, but it'll be hard if I'm not in my super-form. I just wanted to protect my homeworld. Why do you want to conquer us anyway? Let us discuss this over pizza.

Michael: Pizza? Can I come? Please?Please?Please?Plea...

Spidey: Fine, but no killing; they're already mad at me for turning their ships into jack-O-Lanterns. Next question:

The Sacred and Profane

Ash: Have you ever played a Final Fantasy game? Freddy: Did it suck going from horror icon to being a parody of yourself? Jason: You're a momma's boy, did you know that?

Ash: I love all of them, but FF8 is the best in the series! -runs off to play FF8-

Freddy: Your mom went from a horror movie icon to a parody of herself! Oh, you got dissed! -gets in poser...I mean gangsta pose-

Jason: -points spear gun at S&P- You wanna repeat that?

Spidey: Actually, I'm pretty sure Norman's the mama's boy in the group.

Norman: -comes out dressed like "Mother"- Did you say something about my son? -looks at Spidey menacingly-

Spidey: Um...I said he was a good boy!

Norman: -still controlled by "mother"- You better not. Or I'll...-waves egg beater in a threatening manner-

Spidey: -gulps- Yes sir...Mam, I mean mam! (I know I spelled that wrong but oh well)

"Mother": Now review, or I'll do to you what I was gonna do to him! -holds up eggbeater-

Everyone: -gulps-


	10. Freddy Gets Fluffy

Spidey: I'm back, with hot sauce! It's not as hot as that hot sauce I put on my spagetti last chapter though.

Sidney: He's still sad about the hot sauce, so I'll have to disclaim: he doesn't own anything in this story except the story itself...and the space station.

Spidey: Well that changes now!

-Spidey's OC, named Danny Deaver appears-

Danny: Where the -vulgar term for sexual intercourse- am I?

Spidey: You are in my ask fic.

Danny: I demand to leave your story at once! I was just about to get my revenge on -car honk- And Ash's Army of Ass-kickin' buddies. I will not be in your pathetic fanfiction!

Spidey: Well, technically you're an OC I created, so you don't have much of a choice.

Danny: I'm an OC? NOOOOOOOOOOOO...-this goes on for a while-...OO! -collapses from lack of air-

Spidey: Yes. Now for the first question:

Skullblade

Jigsaw: -revives- I like seeing the suffering you bring people. And I want that hot sauce. Micheal: How do you remember the flashy thing? Jason: -hums Star Wars theme- Freddy: You're pretty much a spirit, right? -throws into Shaman King world- Ash: Oh. Well, I put Linda in heaven. Kakashi: That's okay. -uses Random no Jutsu on Spidey- Sai: You won't die! You'll be immortal! Pinhead: Such a waste. -throws him to a sewing class- Nny: -gives him a sense of purpose- Now, go kill those people that stole your brain frezzie! Hinata: I actually managed to change the Hyuuga clan? I did it before Naruto! Spidey: It can't be taught, only earned. Leatherface: It's not that I don't like people with mental handicaps, just people who rip off other people's faces and use them for masks. And I like making people cry. Dracula: I'm your son? I had a awesome father! -revives him in occult ritual- Does this mean I'm a vampire? Frankenstein: It's been marked by the previous ocupant. Where is Jiraiya anyway? Spidey: -Gremlins music starts playing- ... You feed them something, didn't you? Just for that, you must be punished. -throws the Jutsu Force into space station- By the way, I have some excellent friends who want to make cameos. They can play air guitar! And they're friends with the Grim Reaper!

Jigsaw: I still hate you. -turns around and crosses arms childishly-

Michael: Rainbow Flower told me about it. Unicorns are immune to neuralizers.

Jason: What the heck? -continues hitting with baseball bat-

Meanwhile, in the world of Shaman King

Yoh's wife: -chasing Freddy- I will capture this spirit and force it to do my bidding!

Freddy: -running from her- Krystal will save me! But what if she doesn't review again? Crap, why couldn't he send me to the world of "Fruits Basket", or "Sailor Moon"? No, he has to send me to a world of people who can actually fight!

Back with Spidey

Ash: Does this mean she isn't a deadite anymore? Cause I was getting tired of hacking her to pieces.

Kakashi: But Spidey didn't know about the Hot Sauce!

Spidey: -Jutsu is reflected back at Skull by unknown means- Did you think you could hurt me with my own jutsu? Cause I can hurt you with it! Random no Jutsu! -Skull is forced to read an entire Gai/Orochi/Voldemort/Michael Jackson/Freddy/Jason doujini-

Sai: But then everyone I know and love will die of old age without me.

Pinhead: -starts sewing while still singing the teletuby theme-

Spidey: I know, he was the main antagonist in my story "Ash's Army 2: The Promised One"!

Nny: Yay, purpose! I already killed those people, but I've got a new life's purpose: killing Spidey3000! -charges at Spidey with knife-

Spidey: -sighs- You never learn. -stops Nny in mid-charge with a kick to the groin-

Nny: -falls on the ground and gets in feedle positon-

Hinata: You did? Sweet. Now get me some cinnamin rolls!

Spidey: Please do what she says before she goes homicidal. And I already earned it right after the last chapter! Perverted No Jutsu! -Hinata suddenly becomes really...excited-

Hinata: -grabs Naruto and runs back into closet-

Leatherface: -cuts off Skullblades face and makes it into a mask-

Dracula: Actually, you're a dhampire, but that's even cooler. -hugs Skullblade- I wish I could have been there to name you! I would have picked something cool like Alucard, or Dee Dee, instead of -car honk- Oh well, I guess I'll just have to use one of those names on my next son. Well, lets go play catch...-falls on the ground- You idiot, you forgot to take out the bowie...-dies-

Spidey: Sorry you lost your dad...again.

Frankenstein: Me no like Jiraiya. Frankenstein smash Jiraiya! Who's Jiraiya?

Spidey: He wrote this. -hands him Icha Icha Paradise-

Frankenstein: Me research enemy! -slowly starts to open book-

Spidey: You might want to stop him before he gets scarred for life. And Jiraiya's in there. -points to trapdoor- He says he's doing research.

Jutsu Force: We are the Jutsu...-get brutally slaughtered by Danny-

Danny: -drains their souls- Mmm, soul energy. -notices everyone staring at him in horror- I hate people in jumpsuits.

Spidey: I knew I created you for a reason. -turns back to Skullblade- Sorry about your OC's, but Danny's a bit unpredictable since I didn't to provide him with a set of morals, or clear intentions. Or even a backstory for that matter. Anyway, I didn't feed them after midnight, it was all Sidney's fault. She's the one that caved in to the freakin' puppy dog eyes.

Sidney: But they were so cute...

Spidey: Well , but look how he turned out!

Sidney: -gets extremely pissed look in eyes-

Spidey: I'm sorry Sidney, I didn't mean to say that, it was an accident. Please don't hurt me...-screams in pain-

Sidney: -while hurting Spidey- Next question:

The Sacred and Profane

Freddy, how does it feel to have Evil Dead refrences in your first movie? Ash, why did you say workshed weird that one time? Jason, how could you be beaten by Corey Feldman?

Freddy: Well my glove was in Ash's second movie, though it didn't have the desired affect of causing people to talk about me so I could kill them in their dreams.

Ash: What the hell kind of workshed has a razor bladed glove hanging on the wall?

Jason: I don't remember this Corey person. Then again, I probably didn't even know his name.

Spidey: S&P, I'm suprised you haven't asked Dracula anything, being the VHD fan you are.

Dracula: What's VHD?

Spidey: Er...nothing. Next question:

Krystal

Sidney: Here, -Gives her 6 pepper sprays- You can use it on Ghostface if he starts attacking you again. Frank: That's bulls! -Eyes flare-up with anger, hisses- Freddy: -Sighs heavily at Skullblade, teleports to Shaman King world- Thanks for putting me on the "Do not kill" list. For that, I'll give you two special gifts, -Gives him a Golden-box of rainbow-chip cookies, and a sliver & gold friendship necklace- I really like to be your friend, because I really donâ€™t have that manyâ€¦f-f-friends. But if you donâ€™t want to be friends with me, Iâ€™ll just leave the Shaman King world by teleporting.

Sidney: Thanks, but I might end up using it on Spidey first. I've got something else planned for Ghostface! -pulls out lightsaber-

Frank: -backs away- Um...look it's Kristy's dad! -runs-

Freddy: -hugs Krystal- I'll be your friend! And thanks for the cookies.

Spidey: Aw, Freddy's got a soft side.

Freddy: I do not! -blushes-

Hinata/Sidney/Clarice: Aw, how cute.

Freddy: Shut up! -eats cookies and puts on necklace- Even if I was, it's not like you could prove it!

Spidey: -grins- I guess not. But I've got plenty of evidence to suggest this, and I'm not afraid to put it on YouTube. -shows him video of his hug with Krystal on YouTube-

Freddy: -stares in horror-

Spidey: But I won't because I can't remember my damned YouTube password. I will send it to S&P though. Maybe Skullblade if he asks nicely. -reaches for button on cellphone-

Freddy: No!!! How could you Spidey? How could you?!

Spidey: Just kidding, I haven't sent it yet. Review, and you'll get a copy of this video.

Freddy: Must...kill...Spidey!


	11. Freddy's quest and D's backstory

Spidey: I'm back, with troubles. I have no idea how to mail pictures on the PM's, and somebody thought my Avatar was badass and wants it. I feel n00bish for not knowing how to do this. By the way, I started a forumn. It is small now, but give it some time.

Sidney: -cough- n00b -cough-

Spidey: You're mean. Now for the first review.

Skullblade

Jigsaw: How old are you, anyway? Micheal: Damn unicorns and their immunity to flashes. Jason: -pulls out a lightsaber- Freddy: Oh god. Anna is after you. Even I wouldn't let you go through that. But I'm going to anyway. Ash: Nope. Deadites are now extinct. Kakashi: So? I was bored. Sai: They'll all be immortal too. Leatherface: -heals face- Bring it! Dracula: -revives after pulling out bowie knife- Dhampire. I like it. Frankenstein: Help a friend, or continue my quest to pervert everyone who ever existed... Spidey: -sighs- Let's get those little buggers. And Bill s Preston and Theodore Logan want to make an appearance. And if it's alright with you, I'd like to use Danny Deaver eventually in The Lone Ninja.

Jigsaw: Old enough to be your grandfather...on your mother's side of course. Your dad's older than I am. Oh, yeah, for not killing me again, I shall give you the hot sauce. -gives him list of ingrediants that are nearly impossible to find- I'll give you a list of where to find the ingrediants after you prove to me that you don't deserve to die a horrible painful death that causes your testiculars to fall off.

Michael: Are you dissing Rainbow Flower? -pulls out staff-saber- Cause if you were...

Jason: What's that for? If you want me to stop, just ask.

Freddy: Krystal already rescued me. And let me return the favor. -sends him to teletuby plain-

Ash: Yay, but now I've got no purpose in life.

Anko: I'm your purpose Ash! -makes out with him-

Spidey: Why is this story getting so fluffy? We need random violence.

Leatherface: -cuts off Skullblade's arm-

Spidey: Ah, that's better...except for Skullblade, but he's an author, he'll be fine. -gives Skullblade new, robotic arm with lots of unnecessary weapons- I take care of my sensai.

Kakashi: Hmm, your students should be careful when you're bored. Hurting your students for entertainment is unninja-like...spying on them and interfering with their social lives, however...

Sai: Sweet, but I wanna see what heaven is like. I will make it a more perverted place!

Dracula: -hugs Skullblade- Now we've got some catching up to do! -gets stabbed in the heart...again- I'm proud of you, my son. -dies...again-

Van Helsing: -pulls bowie knife out of Dracula- Well sir, I killed it, just like you ordered me to several chapters ago. I would have done it sooner, but I came down with explosive diahrea after my first attempt to kill Dracula, and was in the bathroom until a few minutes ago. Did I miss anything important?

Frankenstein: -is still opening book slowly, while Skullblade has flashbacks of their brief friendship-

Spidey: OK, lets get them! -kills random gremling that was attacking him with a knife- We'll leave the one that chose to remain a mogwai alive though. And Sidney is never aloud to take care of my pets again. -points to Sidney, who is in the time out chair with a dunce cap-

Sidney: -grumbles about the horrible things she would do to the stupid little bastards if they came near her again-

Spidey: I knew it! I've only seen their first movie though.

Bill: That is totally lame.

Ted: Dude, watch the second movie, it's awesome!

Spidey: Whatever you say. And you should wait till his character is developed a bit more. You should also read "Ash's Army Of Ass-Kickin' Buddies" for taste of what he can do, though I haven't revealed his origins yet. Oh, his son is a certain Teen Titans villain named Sl... -interrupted by Danny-

Danny: Don't mention that freakin' failure near me! He's not my son! And you were about to call him by a name he doesn't deserve; I named him Susan, and that's what he's gonna be called till he quits being a weak girly boy. -turns to Spidey- And you didn't even develope my character, even after Ash and -car honks loudly drown out his next to words- me!

Spidey: You'll get your damned developement in the sequel. I'm pretty sure everybody reviewing this except Skullblade and Krystal know who your son is. That makes half the reviewers. However, I won't give them spoilers. Next question:

Krystal

Hinata/Sidney/Clarice: -Blushes- W...what? It's not like I love him or something. -Inner me- LIES! Spidey: -Whimpers- D-d-d-don't you DARE put it on YouTube! Or give it to S&P/or Skullblade! Freddy: -Still in the Shaman King world, growls- Leave him alone you bit! -Teleports in front of him and suddenly knocks Anna out with a hard punch in the face- That's for chasing my friend and also wanting to be your slave-! -Get's kidnap by a evil spirit, Screams loudly at the evil spirit- LET OF GO ME!! -To Freddy- P...please, help me! -The evil spirit takes me to a black tower-

Hinata: Yeah, but it's still cute. You remind me of myself. -gives chainsaw- This was a gift from Ash, use it well.

Spidey: I would never do that! -shifty eyes-

Freddy: Not my friend! -turns to Spidey, dramatic music from Halo starts playing- I need a weapon.

Spidey: OK. -gives him highly explosive missile coupled with a low level nuclear weapon- Bring it back when your done.

Freddy: -starts to leave-

Spidey: whoa, wait a minute, you will need companions for your quest!

Freddy: Why?

Spidey: Cause the mythical hero always needs companions.

Freddy: Well, I'm not gonna argue with RPG cliches.

Spidey: -summons Squall Leonhart and Cloud Strife-

Squall: What am I doing here?

Cloud: I'd ask the same question.

-both introduce themselves and shake hands-

Freddy: Can we please go save Krystal now?

Cloud: Well, I've got nothing better to do.

Squall: I don't know...

Spidey: You'll get to kill thousands of evil monsters.

Squall: Lets go!

Freddy: Finally. -goes on mythical quest to save Krystal-

-About half way to Black Tower-

Freddy: Wait a minute, who said I was a mythical hero?

Squall: Techically, you did when you said you wouldn't argue with RPG cliches.

Freddy: Damn you Spidey! You set me up! -continues on quest-

-back with Spidey-

Spidey: -laughs- I got him to admit to being a hero! Well, we'll have to wait a few chapters to find out how this turns out! Next question:

Rasengan Hokage

Freddy: 1,2, I'm coming for you. 3,4, you better lock the door. 5,6, get a crucifix. 7,8, you better stay up late. 9, 10, I'll kill you now. Jason: Let's go to Camp Crystal Lake! -drives off into the sunset- Ash: So I hear you're marrying Anko? Is this true? Hinata: I've watched you while you showered. Skullblade: You are the greatest author, ever! Spidey: If you can't figure out my identity, you should be shot in the head. -jumps on Godzilla's back, and rides off into the sunset-

-Somewhere between here and the Black Fortress-

Freddy: My "Someone just stole my theme music" senses are tingling.

Cloud: What?

Freddy: Nothing...

-back with Spidey-

Jason: -raises eyebrows- Before she died, my mom said I shouldn't get in cars with strangers...

Spidey: -runs after car- You stole my exit theme!

Jason: -jumps in car without further question- DRIVE!

Ash: Why yes I am! Who told you this, mysterious person who reminds me of someone I know who happens to be a major pervert?

Hinata: Hey SB. I hope Sakura doesn't get angry when I tell her about this. And yes, I did figure out your identity. Spidey's kind of confused though.

Spidey: You remind me of my sensai, so I won't post your name on here, which happened to be in the review. Now if I could just figure out Skullblade's real name... and how did you get a Godzilla Summoning scroll? Mine, Pyro-chans and Skullblade's are the only ones in existance! And I know you're not Pyro-chan, so you must be...me! I knew I had an alternate personality that I didn't know about!

Hinata: -coughs- baka -coughs-

Spidey: -Walks up to Hinata- Do you...want a cough drop? You've been coughing alot lately. Next Question:

The Sacred and Profane

Ash, what ever happened to that girl who liked your story after you got back from the Middle Ages? Freddy, why don't your movies make much money anymore? Dracula, who was better at playing you, Christopher Lee or Bela Lugosi?

Ash: I don't remember said girl...oh the red head? Well, after I finished kissing her, her boyfriend hit me from behind with a baseball bat, then started hitting me with it. Then my boss came out and praised him for "Saving my beloved daughter from this foul man, and that horrible monster!" He went on to make employee of the month. Everyone pretended that this was the case, since he was the bosses nephew. Notice anything seriously wrong with that family yet? Cause it gets worse. The customers would have been reliable witnesses, but they did the smart thing and high tailed it out of there. The rest of this story is not T-rated, so I'll tell you some other time.

Spidey: -taking notes- hee hee, baseball bat...I mean, how horrible! -thinking- I smell a story! -done thinking- Good thing Freddy still has that radio! -turns on radio, and asks question-

Freddy: -on radio- Have you even seen the sequels? I don't remember any of those murders...then again, I don't remember being in a film studio at all, though I remember the events of the first movie, and my fight with Jason...

Spidey: -turns off radio- I think the reason is that it's been sequeled to death, much like Power Rangers.

Dracula: No actor is beautiful enough to play me!

Spidey: Actually they both did a pretty good job, and you aren't all that handsome unless you drink blood...

Dracula: -bares fangs-

Spidey: -doesn't notice- Plus the your a vampire, so the looks are an illusion anyway.

Dracula: -floats toward Spidey-

Spidey: -still doesn't notice- And didn't Van Helsing just kill you a few minutes ago?

Dracula: -stops in mid-air- Freakin' plot holes! -dies-

Spidey: And that's why Skullblade doesn't have any badarse dhampire siblings.

Van Helsing: -laughs at Dracula's death- Yeah, he'd have to survive a nuclear war along with many other vampires and dominate the human race for that to happen! -laughs- Then he might end up with a badarse son!

Spidey: He'd probably name them stupid, like Dee Dee!

Ash: Yeah, he'd probably spend the rest of his life hunting vampires! -laughs-

Spidey: Review, or all that will happen!

Several years later

D:-leaving village, dejectedly- Damn you father! Why couldn't you give me a boys name! I'll kill you along with every other noble! From now on, my name is no longer Dee Dee, but I shall be known, as Dee!!!


	12. Insert Witty Title Name Here

Spidey: I'd like to ask all anonymous reveiwers to give only one review per chapter, since I could easily turn off anonymous reviews. I will only post one of your reviews in the chapter. The person who I'm talking about knows who they are. That's all the bitching I'm gonna do today. Now for the first question:

Evil Spirit

Freddy: -Inside black tower, speaks telepathy to Freddy- You have to fight me if wanna have your little friend/or girlfriend back. But for now, Iâ€™m going to have a little FUN with herâ€¦-Chuckles evil- Krystal, dance erotic for meâ€¦ Krystal- â€œErrâ€¦sorry buddy. But Iâ€™m some kind of erotic female dancer-â€ evil spirit- -Enrage- â€œDance erotic for me! Or else ...â€ â€"Shows Krystal a picture of Freddy, then suddenly rips it in half- â€œThatâ€™ll be him if you donâ€™t dance for me!â€ Krystal- -Tears flow slowly in sadness/hatred- â€œFâ€¦fine, Iâ€™ll dance, just donâ€™t hurt my friendâ€¦!â€ Evil spirit- -Smiles evilly- â€œthatâ€™s a good girl. NOW DANCE!â€ â€"Cracks a whip at Krystal, and laughs insanely- Krystal- -Starts dancing erotic, sends a telepathic cry to Freddy- â€œKrueger help me! Iâ€¦Iâ€¦need you!â€

Spidey: Don't worry Krystal, he'll be there as soon as he can. He won't make any delays...except for necessary ones...

-meanwhile, at an unnamed McDonalds-

Freddy: -pulls up to drive through window- Yeah I'll have two Double cheeseburger meals, with fries, and for drinks, rootbeer for Squall, and Dr. Pepper for Cloud.

Cloud: I told you I wanted chicken nuggets.

Freddy: Oh, sorry, make that one Double cheeseburger meal, and some chicken nuggets for blondy here.

Speaker: Um...sorry, we're out of chicken nuggets, would you like a cheeseburger instead?

Cloud: NO! I want Chicken Nuggets!!! -pulls out sword-

Squall: They don't have any idiot!

Cloud: YOU WANNA RUMBLE?!

Squall: Bring it! -both start fighting-

Freddy: Both of you shut up! -turns back to speaker- On second though, I'll have two kids meals for the two big babies in the back seat.

Speaker: Um...OK. Please pull up to the window to pay.

Freddy: -drives up to window, grabs food, then realizes he doesn't have any money- Shit! -grabs food and drives off-

Back with Spidey

Spidey: Um...he'll get there eventually. Next question:

My Destiny My Future

Great and very interesting story so far! Keep up the good work! To the questions. Freddy: Is Christmas your favorite holiday? Jigsaw: Do you think Jason can kill you after one push? Michael:Are you emo and did you steal Orochimaru's illgegal ninjutsu? Orochimaru: Are you aware that Michael and Freddy stole your files on illegal ninjutsu? Spidey: Does Ash eat Pecan Pie?

Freddy: -on radio- Christmas is the only time I was happy as a child! -cries-

Jigsaw: Like I'd get killed by that sinful mama's boy!

Jason: -punches Jigsaw-

Jigsaw: My final game has begun! -dies-

Spidey: Those were some encouraging last words.

Michael: No, and no. I don't wanna go anywhere near that Michael Jackson look alike!

Orochimaru: What?! Kill Michael Myers! And Freddy! Where are those bastards?

Michael: -hides behind Orochimaru-

Meanwhile, right outside the Dark Fortress

Freddy: My "some one is trying to kill me" senses are tingling.

Squall: It's probably just gas.

Back with Spidey

Spidey: I don't know.

Ash: Did someone mention pie? I want some! -gets insane, greedy look in eyes-

Spidey: I guess he does like pecan pie...

Ash: Pecan? Gross, who eats that crap? I prefer apple, or chocolate pie.

Spidey: Thanks for the review! Next question:

The Sacred and Profane

Ash, what are your goals in life now? Have you told your parents about Cheryl being dead? Dracula, who would win between you and Frankenstien's monster?

Ash: I want to get married, get a job, and tell my parents about Cheryl. They still think she jumped the border for Mexico with that jerk friend of mine named Scott who also went missing. You don't want to know what they think happened to Linda and Scott's girlfriend.

Spidey: -summons Dracula's soul with non occult ritual- Drac, I wouldn't answer that if I were you...

Dracula: I would never fight Frankenstein! He's my son's friend...

Spidey: -sighs with relief-

Dracula:...but if we did fight, I'd kick his arse!

Frankenstein: -grabs lazer thing from Ghostbusters, and shoots Dracula with it-

Dracula: Oh shi... -gets trapped in ghost container-

Spidey: Well, I warned him. Why does this always happen when you ask "Who would win?" questions? Oh well, next question:

Skullblade:

Jigsaw: I'm a fan of your work. Beware Amanda. Micheal: No, just their ability to remember everything. Jason: I just felt like pulling out a lightsaber. Can you pleas stop? It's very distracting. Freddy: -comes back- Well, now I'm . -throws him back- Ash: Housewares? Leatherface: -regrows arm- You go with Freddy. -throws him to Shaman King world- Kakashi: But I'm not a ninja. Sai: Fine. You'll die at the age of 98. Dracula: How are you the king of darkness? -revives again- Van Helsing: Kill him, and you will be castrated with a rusty kunai. Frankenstein: -thinking- How am I having flashbacks with everything else in slow motion? Spidey: You mean Gizmo? And I have a cheap way to clear the hideout of Gremlins. I'll call Zetsu. Danny: Slade? It seems like he'd be older than you...

Ghost of Jigsaw: Well, I'm dead now, so I can't work anymore. Would somebody please break this chain already? I don't care where I go, I just want out! Where's that darned shinigami?

Michael: You dissing their ability to remember everything?! -pulls out rocket launcher-

Jason: -still hitting Skullblade- Stop what?

Ash: That's where S-Mart keeps their illegal firearms, explosives, flamethrowers and that stuff till they get them legalized. Then when said weapons are legalized, then they get moved to the sports aisle (spelling please). Like I always say, "Shoot smart, S-Mart!"

Freddy: -in the world of Shamen King already-

Meanwhile, in the world of Shamen King

Leatherface: -decapitates semi-concious Anna-

Yoh: You killed my wife, you die now! -charges Leatherface-

Leatherface: -laughs at Yoh-

Yoh: -kicks the living shit out of Leatherface-

Back with Spidey

Spidey: Never under estimate a Shamen!

Kakashi: I know that, I've only been in your Ask fic since the very beginning baka!

Sai: Will I get laid by that time?

Dracula: By killing lots and lots of people, starting with everyone who served the Sultan, then I killed said Sultan, then everyone that said my wife was gonna go to hell cause she killed herself, and that's just before I became a vampire.

Van Helsing: -only hears "Kill Him"- Yes master! -charges at Dracula with bowie knife-

Dracula: Oh no you don't! -dodges bowie knife, then drains Van Helsing- I never fall for the same trick three times in a row!

Van Helsing: Ah fu...-dies from bloodloss-

Dracula: -stabs him in heart with bowie knife- I AM THE KING OF DARKNESS! -falls into coma cause Frankenstein has his soul-

Frankenstein: -stops opening book, and smiles at Skullblade, causing even more guilt induced flashbacks-

Spidey: I kinda cast "Slow" on him several times so you'd have time to make your conflicting decision. You know if he reads that he'll probably end up hating you for the rest of your life, right? And Gizmo died years ago, this is his son, Shizmo. -holds up adorable Mogwai- And I'm saving that for a last resort. I need to find out where aboard the hideout they're hiding, then we'll sick Zetsu and Hannibal on him. We'll just tell them that Gremling meat is delicious. Yum!

Danny: -castrates Skull- I'm older than I look, I just age gracefully because I'm a C...

Spidey: If you give that away I'll bitch slap you back to Osama!

Danny: C...So cool?

Spidey: If only that were true... Now I guess I'll have to end this chapter here.

Sidney: Review, or Drac's soul will be trapped forever in a tiny container without Tivo.

In container

Dracula: What do you mean there's no Tivo? -falls to knees- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


	13. Freddy Returns, Dracula sues

Spidey: I don't own anything in this except Danny and the story itself...and me of course.

Danny: You don't own me!

Spidey: Yes I do.

Danny: Damn.

Spidey: First question:

Skullblade

Jigsaw: Oh. Well... I'm your replacement! Micheal: -dodges rockets- Jason: Hitting me. Stop before I doesn't I won't regret. Ash: ...I'm shopping at S-mart now. Anna: -revives- I won't let you die. The spirits have enough trouble with you when your alive. Yoh: Go Yoh! Skullblade: ...but I want to be like one. You didn't let me finish my sentence. Sai: Yes. Many times. Van Helsing: -revives- Sorry Rose. -pulls out rusty kunai- Dracula: -frees from Ghostbuster vaccuum thing- Want to help me kill Helsing? Frankenstein: What is this feeling in my heart? Guilt? Or gas? Danny: -heals- You die now. -throws him next to Van- Spidey: The gremlins are in the hot springs I built without your knowledge. Hinata and Sakura like the hot springs... Oh ! Sakura and Hinata! -runs as fast as reality will allow- Dracula: No Tivo! I will save you! -starts messing with device- Just so you know, I got an F in mechanics.

Jason: Oh, I though you were enjoying that, sorry. -stops hitting him- Anything I can do to make it up to you?

Ash: Technically the weapons are underneath the housewares eisle, but you won't be able to find them unless you read Evil Dead 4: Final Wars.

Spidey: I took care of that little problem. -holds up soul container, with Anna's soul inside- Yoh will hopefully find another less abusive woman in his life. -shoots Anna's comatose body, then re-dismembers it to make it look like Leatherface did it- Now he has to give up on her!

Yoh: -kicks LF's unconcious body and walks away- I guess Anna's dead now. Oh well, she was cheating on me anyway.

Sai: How about a harem fic?

Van Helsing: Rose is now avenged, and Dracula still lives. I will go die a conveniant death now master. -jumps out of airlock- I'm coming Jesus! Wait this is suicide! Ah shi...-starts to suffocate-

Dracula: I think I'll just leave him to die a horrible death in the vacuum.

Frankenstein: -slows down even more due to illiteracy and another spell cast by spidey-

Spidey: It's actually both gas and guilt. Actually, you don't really feel gas in your heart, so it's gotta be guilt. However, if you have a similar feeling in your butt, it's gas. Yay, I finally put a fart joke in this!

Danny: What did I do?

Spidey: Shit! That means that there are probably millions of them! Hinata, Sakura, and Sidney could all be down there! -goes into Uber Powerful Protective Fanboy Mode- And I knew about the hotsprings, I go there to watch Hinata and Sidney naked, but we'll discuss this later. At the moment, we must fight together! -runs with Skullblade to the hotsprings- Random No Jutsu Cien Veces!

-jutsu causes chaos among the gremlings while Skull and Spidey attack-

Hannibal: Well, it's gonna take a while to kill all those gremlings, so I'm once again the most competant person here...

Danny: Back off old man! I'm an OC that Spidey created, and am thus technically a part of his mind, thus making me host for now.

Hannibal: Touche, then host.

Danny: Wise choice gezer... now what do I do?

Hannibal: Say next question.

Danny: Next question!

Krystal

Spidey: "I'd like to ask all anonymous reveiwers to give only one review per chapter, since I could easily turn off anonymous reviews. I will only post one of your reviews in the chapter. The person who I'm talking about knows who they are. That's all the I'm gonna do today." Spidey, I'm sorry I won't do agian next time. Ps: Oh, by the way, people review on the "Ask Ash" story. "GuesWho" "The Sacred and Profane" From: Krystal aka "evil spirit"

Spidey: Apology excepted. And S&P reviewed both stories!

Freddy: -returns-

Spidey: What ever happened to the Evil Spirit?

Freddy: He is currently experiencing an Orochi/Voldemort/MJ/Jason/Pinhead/Evil Spirit Lemon over and over again. His minions work for me now. -laughs evilly-

Spidey: Remind me never to piss you off again. I hope you taped the fight, but didn't tape the lemon.

Freddy: -hands tape- This goes all the way up to the part where I entered his dreams.

Spidey: Sweet. -watches tape- Next Question:

My Destiny My Future

Time to question these peeps! Ash:Is Cheryl in your house? Freddy:Can you please take off that fedora! It's been on your head for 23 years! Dracula:What would do say if the Wolfman got into your apartment? Frankenstein:Did your Monster survive from that suicidal jump in the original book? Jason:If Bill Gates doesn't drink would you still kill him? Spidey:What weapon did you use to capture all of these monsters!? Naruto:Are you still scared that the 4th Hokage is the Akatsuki Leader?

Ash: Um, her body is kinda missing...in fact, I'm pretty sure it's running around yelling "I will swallow your soul," and "Dead by dawn," over and over again somewhere. Hopefully she got caught out in the sun, but I kinda doubt it.

Freddy: What's a fedora?

Dracula: I'd say "Wuzz up, dog? I hope your not still using your powers to hunt vampires!" I miss the good old days when he was one of us. -sighs-

Frankenstein: -stares at MDMF in confusion-

Spidey: No, he didn't. And he _is _the monster, not the scientist, although some might say Dr. Frankenstein is the real monster.

Jason: That depends; has this Bill Gates person ever been to Crystal Lake?

Spidey: I used Author powers! You have to be an author to have them, though in Ask fics you also have limited reviewer powers.

Naruto: Actually, -XXWARNING S-CLASS SPOILER ALERTXX-Nagato is the Akatsuki leader,-XXEND OF S-CLASS SPOILER- ...as has been revealed in the manga.

Spidey: Wait, how did you know that?

Naruto: I read Skullblade's manga.

Spidey: OK, Skull's not gonna be happy about that. Next question:

The Sacred And Profane

Kakashi, are you going to beat Itachi? Ash, what's up with your next adventure? Dracula, who's the best person to play you in a movie?

Kakashi: If I can get to him before Sasuke or Naruto, then I'll give it a shot.

Ash: -on honeymoon with Anko-

Spidey: The wedding was on Halloween. Don't worry, you can always travel back in time to the wedding like I did, or am going to eventually.

Ash: But you were there! You were the best man!

Spidey: I had too much homework that night, and the time machine was almost finished, so don't give me grief!

Dracula: They put me in movies? Without me asking?! -in eery voice- They shall here from my attorney. Come my children of the night!

-vampire law ninja's appear- Tonight, we feast, on blood...and then we sue some people. -flies away, with law ninja-

Thief: Hey, those are my Law Ninja! They serve me, and only me, as mentioned in the contract! -pulls out contract-

Dracula: I checked the contract, and it was for the rest of their lives. Now the ninja are now the walking dead.

Spidey: Well, Thief, I guess you're intellect is no match for a several thousand year old vampire.

Thief: -grumbles-

Spidey: I guess the chapter is now over. Review, or face the wrath of the Law Ninja!

Law Ninja: -get in Charle's Angels pose-


	14. A long belated chapter

Spidey: I'm back, with me, myself, and many more. Freddy get's the honor of disclaiming.

Freddy: He doesn't own shit. Theif tricked him into signing a contract giving away his latrines and all their contents.

Spidey: I'm never playing poker with that guy again...without cheating. First question:

Skullblade

Hello Spidey! I now have my own Ash's comments... except with Ryuk! Jason: Nothing I can think of. Ryuk's Comment: So... you're not a god, but you can't die? Ash: I'm still shopping. Ryuk: My cousin met you! I believe he posessed your hand! Anna: Oh. But I like Anna... Ryuk: -trapped in Anna's beads of doom- Skullblade: Scratch that. Mess with the Shinigami, you mess with me! -gets out Ghostbusters vaccuum- Yoh: Cheating with who? Ryuk: Have you met my cousin? His name is Amidamaru! Sai: Well, I'm not writing it. Ryuk: You creep me out. Helsing: I have a feeling we're talking about different Roses. Frankenstein: -makes book disapear, replaces with a Death Note- Danny: You did something to me! Ryuk: Hey Skullblade. You know both his name and what he looks like. Hyuk, Hyuk, Hyuk. Skullblade: -smiles- Spidey: While we're fighting the gremlins, can Ryuk chill with these guys? Ryuk: Anyone have an apple?

Jason: Better than you have tried Ryuk.

Ash: Well, have fun, but don't buy any of the videogames, they're all demonically possesed. You might get trapped in the game forever or something. And your cousin is a demented arsehole who steals hands. I shall assume you're a deadite. -slices Ryuk in half- And I'm immune to deathnotes because I'm the Promised One, so HA!

Anna: -is trapped in Teletubby Land forever-

Spidey: How many cousins do you have? And don't worry Skull, she's already suffering quite a bit.

Yoh: -left hours ago-

Spidey: It was Amidamaru.

Sai: Well I guess you don't need this inspiration then. -holds up most perverted fanart so far, but doesn't let Skullblade see all of it- I was gonna give it to you so you could write a harem fic, but I guess you don't want it. I'll just have to give it to Spidey. Oh, and it'll explode if you try to steal it, and I don't think I could paint another one. -turns to Ryuk- Your mom creeps me out! -traps him in a yaoi fanart-

Van Helsing: That was a typo, it was supposed to be Anna. -cries- Why did I have to kill her as a werewolf?

Spidey: Wait, didn't you just die?

Van Helsing: -starts to get sucked into a plot hole, but grabs onto a pole- I held my breath and climbed back into the ship! -plot hole closes-

Frankenstein: -hugs Skullblade- Friend make book with big words disapear! -hugs-

Spidey: -reads note- Jiraiya's gonna die? Why Jiraiya?

Danny: Did I kill someone you cared about? It was that pink haired kunoichi wasn't it? -points to dead body- I believe her name was So..ku rah, or something like that. Well her soul tasted good. Danny Deaver is an alias, and Spidey didn't really give a good description of me, so you have no idea what I look like. So you can shove that note up your arse and -censored due to Danny's poddy mouth- !

Spidey: I don't think that's an anatomically correct, or even healthy thing to do with a deathnote, or pretty much anything else. -washes Danny's mouth out with soap- That's for the spoilers, the poddymouth, and the murder.

Danny: -chokes on soap-

Spidey: Next question:

Krystal

Freddy: -Dances happily around him- E, hey friend, your invite to my 20th birthday tomorrow on the 10th. Mewtwo: -Yells out to Freddy- Krystal secretly has feelings for you!! Meaning, she loves you! -Stops, blushes- DAMN YOU MEWTWO Mewtwo: -Laughs- You canâ€™t hide your feelings, blah, blah, blahâ€¦ Spidey: -Sighs stressfully at Mewtwo- Spidey, can I do my 20th birthday here? Everyone in here is invite, -Smiles-

Freddy: Of course I'll go. You're like a sister to me!

Spidey: Freddy, you can be a baka sometimes.

Freddy: What?

Spidey: Of course you can host it here, but Mewtwo better stay out of my head or I'll think of something he really doesn't want to see. I don't know if I can have a chapter up by tomorrow, or if this chapter will be up by tomorrow. I just started typing this section, so we'll just throw you a party this chapter! -makes everybody's favorite food appear, along with several types of cake, and rootbeer, cause everybody loves rootbeer- Party!

Everyone else: Party! -party starts-

Spidey: -puts on music, then dances-

Sidney: Hinata, get the tranquilizer, he's having a seizure again.

Spidey: But I'm a good danc...-gets put into happy land-

Sidney: -holding smoking tranq gun- That's close enough. Happy Birthday Krystal. Next Question:

Shinigami's Death Note

Ash: Wal-mart is better than S-mart. Dracula: Evil bloodsucking vampire, check. Freddy: How many people have you killed? Jason: YOSH! Spidey: Great idea for a fic. I wish I had one.

Ash: Does Wal-Mart have a secret stash of illegal weapons hidden under the housewares isle, and an army of lawyers trying to get said weapons legalized?

Dracula: Why thank you for the nice compliments.

Freddy: I'd tell you, but I lost count around 999.

Jason: -raises eyebrow-

Spidey: Thanks, I had lots of good inspiration. You could write one. Well, that's all the time we have. Next chapter will be a special chapter, and will have several cameos. They shall include: Hayate, Sasuke, Kurenai, Konan, Pein, Minato (Yodaime), Tobi, Orochimaru, Itachi, Kisame, Rock Lee, Gai, Diedara, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Zabuza, and Haku. It will also include some non-Naruto characters, like Captain Jack Sparrow...that's all I can think of for now, besides OC's created by Skullblade: Ryumaru, Rukia, and the Jutsu Force. Oh, and Hana. Read and Review, or the special shall never be revealed. Read The Lone Ninja if you don't know who the OC's are.

Lee/Gai: Yosh!

Jutsu Force: We are the Jutsu Force!

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!

Spidey: Read and review, or you'll never know why I put in these special characters.


	15. Remembering Ask The Ninjas

Spidey: Today we honor a great story that has been lost, the fic that inspired this one: "Ask the Ninjas" by Skullblade! Unfortuanately, all great things must get caught by the administration eventually. It was where I ripped off...er...borrowed many of the reaccuring jokes from this, such as the closet thing. Well, enough morning, we have a chapter to get to!

Tobi: Spidey doesn't own anything, except his dignity...

Spidey: -digging through trash- What was that? I didn't hear you.

Sidney: He seems to have lost that as well...

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy!

Spidey: Funny thing is, Skullblade is the first reviewer, and he wrote Ask The Ninjas:

Skullblade

Spidey: Product Endorsement! YOSH! Tobi: Tobi is a good boy. Ryumura: Well, you are my first OC, so I guess I'll ask you stuff. Who is your second love, after Rukia. And for god's sake, keep Rukia away from the sake. Rukia: You have anger issues. Hana: You're evil! EVIL! Ash: Umm... Ryuk can't be hurt from earthly means. Ryuk:... just for that, you have to spend an hour with Misa-Misa. -throws him into Misa's bedroom- And Spidey, I don't feel like counting my cousins. Sai: Trust me, you don't want me writing Lemons. Ryuk: Light! L! I was looking for you guys! And Sai, my mom creeps me out too. Van Helsing: You've still lost me. Frankenstein: ...Can you read? Spidey: Go ahead and keep that Death Note. I wonder which Shinigami will come to you... Danny Deaver: And I have Shinigami Eyes! -looks at Danny- And Danny, thanks for the idea. -runs off to find Light-

Spidey: I never thought of it that way. -takes soap out of Danny's mouth-

Tobi: Skullblade! -hugs- Tobi is a good boy!

Ryumaru: I don't know. The disturbing thing is: you probably do. At the moment, I'm still with Rukia, though I don't know why...

Rukia: -punches Ryumaru- That's why. And I do not have anger management problems! -punches Skullblade- If I did though, it would be your fault! -punches Skullblade again-

Hana: And who's fault is that? -smiles at Skullblade-

Ash: Must...kill...deadite! -escapes from room- I'm gonna have to use this! -pulls out page of the Necronomicon- Prepare to be in another time period! -says spell from Evil Dead 2- Bye bye! -portal opens and sucks Ryuk into the future-

Spidey: I wonder what time period he was sent to...

Several Thousand years later

Keith: -inside Voltron- I think we stepped on something...pull it off!

-Voltron peels Ryuk off foot-

Keith: Sorry dude.

Ryuk: My name is Ryuk, what's that giant monster over there, oh great giant robot overlord?

Keith: Um...That's a Robeast, and we've gotta go kill it now. See ya later. -Voltron drops Ryuk-

Ryuk: Crap!

Back in the Present

Sai: I'll take your word for it.

Van Helsing: Anna's the name of my girlfriend that helped cure me when I was a werewolf, but was killed in the process. -cries-

Frankenstein: No. -looks at floor-

Spidey: WHAT?!?! I wasted all that magic to keep him from reading that book, and now he can't read?! -beats Sasuke with a baseball bat- I burned it. You don't know my name or what I look like...well, you may have an idea from my "Brotherhood of The Skull" profile, but it's gone, so you can't look at it for reference. You also don't know my full name.

Danny: I'm immune to all potential ways of killing me until such a time as Spidey lets Ash find out my main weakness, and Ash uses it to kill me. Until then, I intend to live, cause living is good when you're evil.

Spidey: OK Skull, if you'd really been reading Ash's Army of Ass-kickin' Buddies, you'd know that he's difficult to kill. Next question:

Krystal

Sidney: Aw, thanks Sidney, -Smiles- Jason: Hey Jason, what was it like being up in space? Freddy: "Of course I'll go. You're like a sister to me!" -Is heartbroken, false smile- ...I'll be right ba-back, -quickly runs into the girl's restroom- -Inside girl's restroom, slides down door- A sister? Freddy, I love you more then a sister, MORE then that. God why is it so hard to say those words? -Weeps- WHY?

Sidney: your welcome. -gives cake- Happy belated 20th!

Jason: It was weird, and there were lots people shooting me, and blowing me up, and pushing me into Earth's atmosphere where I burned up on re-entry...I have no idea how I remember that or even still exist, so lets just go with it, shall we?

Freddy: Is that crying I hear coming from the bathroom? That must mean Krystal is in... a severe state of constipation!

Spidey: -sighs- No Freddy, she's not constipated.

Freddy: Why else would she run into a bathroom after I confess my brotherly feelings for her, then cry and mutter unintelligable things?

Spidey: You figure it out, I won't bother explaining it, baka-san. I feel like I'm getting stupider just talking to you. Next question:

My Destiny My Future

Tobi: I know your in there Obito. Ash: Wal-Mart sells turkeys Freddy: Have you seen the ITS OVER 90! videos? Spidey: I heard you gained the Mangekyou Sharingan.

Tobi: Obito is a good bo...I mean Tobi is a good boy, not Obito! Obito is a bad boy.

Ash: LIES!

Freddy: No...should I be offended by them?

Sasuke: He has, has he? -looks at Spidey and pulls out kunai-

Spidey: No, but I do know a cool spell called Eagle sight that lets me look at anyone I want to at anytime, unless they perform the proper ritual. The ritual is so disgusting, that even Orochimaru wouldn't do it, so don't ask what it is.

Danny: Well, I guess that's the end of the chapter, now let's dump off all these Naruto charactes...

Spidey: No, I wanna hold out for one more review.

Danny: You know Skullblade will probably just review anonymously, right?

Spidey: -smiles evilly- Well, it IS a tribute to his story, so it's only fair he gets to review twice.

The Perverted Author

Hayate: High five! -raises hand- Sasuke: I stole your left eye! Kurenai: How many times have you and Asuma... you know. Yondaime: I send love to the Yondaime Hokage. Lee: -points at Tai Jutsu- He said Gai was gay. Gai: -points at Kakashi- He said Shizune was ugly. Jiraiya: I hope you weren't left handed. Tsunade: -uses Byakugan to see through her clothes- Gaara: I challenge you to DDR! Temari: Are you pregnent? You look a little... Kankuro: Puppet master! Zabuza: Remember Zabuza-related difficulties? Haku: You are very pretty. Ryumura: How are you, my creation? Rukia: 1 word. Anger Management. Jutsu Force: I made you, and I can unmake you! Hana: How dare you scare Gen Jutsu! Orochimaru: Hiss. Itachi: -waves hand in front of face- Kisame: Insult Zabuza! Deidara: Art is a bang! Sasori: Beauty is eternal. Hidan: I have converted to Jashinism. Kakuzu: -burns a dollar- Zetsu: Feed me Seymour! Konan: You are beautiful. Pein: Isn't 6 too many? Tobi: Tobi is a good boy! Hinata: I love you.

Hayate: -coughs on hands- Sure! -gives high five-

Sasuke: No, Skullblade stole my left eye. Are you trying to implicate that you're Skullblade?

Hinata: Cough Baka Cough Of course he's Skullblade!

Sasuke: -laughs- This female that I didn't bother to remember the name of and her crazy ideas...

Kurenai: We currently don't have a way of counting that high, but we left the trillions behind long ago.

Yodaime: Yay! Love!

Lee: Oh really...-cracks knuckles-

Tai Jutsu: -gulps- Um...hi Lee, why are you walking towards me with that scary look in your eyes...what are you doing...no don't...-screams of pain- My spleen!

Gai: Kakashi would never say that! He secretly had a crush on her!

Kakashi: You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that! -attacks Gai-

Jiraiya: Why? And I'm right handed.

Tsunade: You should have just asked...me to punch you in the face! -punches-

Gaara: You're on! Spidey, where do you keep your DDR counsel?

Spidey: Don't have one.

Gaara: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! -cries-

Temari: -whacks Skullblade with fan-

Kankuro: Yo.

Zabuza: Yeah, -wipes tear away from face- Good times...

Haku: Whoa buddy, I don't bend that way.

Ryumaru: Um...good...-backs away- Wait a minute, you didn't create me, Skullblade did!

Hinata: Ryu, you are the only person I can have an intelligent conversation with, don't take that away from me!

Rukia: Your mom need anger management! -punches him-

Jutsu Force: Why would you do that, oh great and powerfully perverted author whom we should all love and cher...Wait a minute, he's not Skullblade, he can't do crap!

Hinata: Sadly, I'm not suprised by their stupidity.

Jutsu Force: Shut up Hyuuga!

Hana: You made me! Wait, no you didn't, why did I say that?

Hinata: -slaps face-

Orochi: I could have sworn I hear Skullblade just now...must be my imagination.

Hinata: Urge to kill rising.

Itachi: -grabs hand- I'm blind, not stupid.

Kisame: But I like Zabuza...

Deidara: Yes, it is. -blows things up-

Spidey: Not my T.V.!

Deidara: -laughs maniacally-

Sasori: Yes, it is.

Hidan: Have you been castrated yet? You're not officially a Janshinist unless you're an enuch.

Kakuzu: NOOOOOOOO! -grabs Fire extinguisher- I'll save you George!

Zetsu: I already ate him. -spits out Seymour's skull- He tastes good with some ketchup.

Konan: -emotionally touched- Aw, thank you! -hugs Skull...I mean PA-

Pein: Isn't the amount of organs in your body too many? -glares threateningly-

Tobi: Skullblade used to say that...-wipes tears from eyes- Tobi misses Skullblade.

Hinata: -forgets killing urges- I know, but I'm with Naruto. Maybe in the next life...but that's already reserved for Spidey.

Spidey: Yes! Wait, I don't believe in reincarnation...damn it! Well, looks like this is the end of our Ask The Ninjas special. By the time I got to this point, Ask the Ninja's has been gone for a while, though Skull sent me a PM saying " 'Ask The Ninjas' is back, with a new perverted author! And you have a review." Wait a minute, Perverted Author...

Hinata: I knew you'd figure it out!

Spidey: Can't possibly be Skullblade! -gives long, stupid explanation that would put Red Mage to shame-

Hinata: I'm surrounded by idiots...I think I'm getting stupider. Help me!

Spidey: -laughs- Silly Hinata, of course you thought it was Skullblade, but your not a super genious like me, so you couldn't possibly have figured it out. It's OK, your still smarter than most of the Konoha kunoichi.

Hinata: -muttering under breath- And most Konoha kunoich are smarter than you.

Spidey: Next chapter will have a new character: the most badarse OC i've ever created...

Danny: Spidey, please, I'm already here...

Spidey: Jack J. Williams!

Danny: Who?

Jack: Wuzz up? -sees Ash- Dad?

Ash: I don't recognize you.

Jack: But Dad, I'm your son!

Ash: I don't have a son besides that kid from Pokemon who scares and disturbs me.

Spidey: Jack, this Ash is from an alternate universe. He's still alot like your dad though.

Jack: Wow, this is ackward.

Ash: Well, I guess that makes you technically my son. Wanna go play catch?

Spidey: Review, or you'll never know how Jack responds to that.


	16. Bye bye Naruto characters!

Spidey: I'm back, with smexyness!

Jack: Why is my creator such an idiot?

Spidey: Do you want to get your arse kicked? Cause I have author powers...

Jack: Do you want to get castrated? Cause I have rusty, flaming chainsaws...

Spidey: Um...oh look, it's a review!

Jack: coughwusscough

Krystal

Jason: "It was weird, and there were lots people shooting me, and blowing me up, and pushing me into Earth's atmosphere where I burned up on re-entry...I have no idea how I remember that or even still exist, so lets just go with it, shall we?" Yes. Mewtwo: -To Freddy- Better yet, go ask her YOURSELF! -Makes the girl's restroon door open by itself, throws him into girl's restroom-

Jason: So...how was your day?

Freddy: Krystal, why are...

Hinata/Sidney/Clarice: PERVERT!!!

Freddy: Oh shi...-gets beaten to a bloody pulp, then thrown out-

Spidey: Did you find out what she wanted?

Freddy: No, but I found out that Pokemon are evil, and that Sidney kicks very very hard. She also never misses the happy place. -gets in fetal position-

Spidey: Wow, I actually feel sorry for you...though I still extremely dislike you. Krystal, I believe you beat Skullblade's speed reviewing record. -applause- Now for your reward. -gives her trophy that resembles Freddy- You also win a vacation to the Yaoi, Yuri, or Hetero dimension with a friend. -winks at Freddy- Next question:

Skullblade

Spidey: You told them to read The Lone Ninja! Tobi: I missed you too! Ryumura: -laughs creepily- Rukia: Your blows can't harm me! Hana: I think I heard something shatter. Ash: Great. Now I gotta time travel, very likely running into that bum, Future Me. Sai: They would make your eyes bleed! Van Helsing: As I did not know that, we were very likely talking of different people. Frankenstein: I had a hunch. Spidey: You know, I DO keep all the chapters on my computer... Danny: I will wait until that weakness is revealed... is it naked girls? I can find that.

Spidey: They're in the Lone Ninja.

Tobi: -hugs- Tobi is a good boy! Skullblade is also a good boy...and the new Akatsuki leader. Congradulations! Tobi retires. -walks away slowly-

Ryumaru: -backs away, then whispers to Rukia- Let's sneak away from this guy, and hide in Spidey's stories, noone will ever find us!

Rukia: -destroys his yuri in slow motion as he watches helplessly- How about that?

Ash: Sorry Sword Noggin.

Spidey: Damn, I should have had him say that last chapter, since that was his old nickname for Skull in Ask the Ninjas...-gets nostalgic- Good times...

Sai: I guess I won't read Hinata: A Pairing Too Far then.

Van Helsing: We were definately talking of very different people...so, wanna go kill some zombies?

Frankenstien: Friend teach me to read? -gives puppy dog eyes-

Spidey:...I did not know that. I used to keep all my chapters too, but it was making my computer act buggy. Especially with the uber long chapters of AAOKB.

Danny: No, but if you want to get me some, I'm not stopping you.

Spidey: Maybe you should try Ash's strategy. -grins- There's only one way to find out what Ash's strategy was. Next question:

The Perverted Author

Hayate: I'm immune to all diseases. Sasuke: Yes I am. Kurenai: I really envy Asuma. Yondaime: Not in a gay way. Lee: He also said Youth is stupid. Gai: Actually, he likes Anko. Jiraiya: The fact that your left arm is currently somewhere in Amegakure. Tsunade: That didn't hurt. Gaara: -summons DDR machine with my pinky- Temari: Are you? I did see you leave the Akatsuki lair a month ago. Kankuro: You are awesome! Zabuza: Can't touch this! Haku: Neither do I. Give one compliment, and people think you're gay. -grumbling- Ryumura: -laughs exactly like Skullblade did last review- Rukia: -unfazed- Jutsu Force: One of you is gay. Hana: Yes I did. Orochimaru: Hiss. Itachi: Let go of me, or everyone will know about you and Temari. Kisame: Do it, or I will make you wear a dress in The Lone Ninja! Deidara: TV. I give it a ten. Sasori: You're creepy. Hidan: I'm going back to my previous religion. Kakuzu: That was Monica! Zetsu: So you were actually in that? Konan: Prettiest girl in the Naruto world! Pein: Yes. Could you explode a few? And I hope you don't switch between bodies when you and Konan... Tobi: I miss you too. Yobi is a very good boy. Hinata: I believe in reincarnation! I can't take you out of here, but I can leave the docking bay door open. Spidey: How did you convince me to let you be my apprentice? Skullblade signing out!

Hayate: So was I, before I high fived that guy that coughed alot. He mysteriously stopped coughing after that high five though... Hey, I just went a whole sentence without coughing! Yay!

Sasuke: I'll need some ID. I don't trust this random person whom isn't important enough for me to know her name.

Naruto: -to Sasuke- Her name is Hinata, and she's my fiance you baka!

Sasuke: When did this happen?

Kurenai: So does Kakashi.

Yodaime: Prove that by giving me ramen...

Lee: Meh, He's suffered enough for both UNYOUTHFUL offenses.

Gai: Trust me, I YOUTHFULLY read his diary daily. I even have a blog called Kakashi's YOUTHFUL diary.

Ash: What?! -attacks Kakashi- Stay away from my wife, you man-whore!

Tsunade: -destroys his doujin slowly while he watches- How about that...SKULLBLADE!!!

Gaara: Thank you person who isn't Skullblade, Thank you! -hugs Skullblade-

Temari: -whacks with fan...again- None of your business!

Kankuro: -bows- Why thank you. -gives him Hinata puppet-

Spidey: I don't wanna know what he expects you to do with that.

Kankuro: It's for...

Spidey: I SAID I DON'T WANNA KNOW!

Zabuza: -shakes head and sighs- Baka.

Haku: Sorry, my bad. It's just that you said it in a rather disturbing voice...I know how it feels to have people think you're gay.

Ryumaru: You remind me of my creator, and he scares me.

Rukia: -kicks in the happy place-

Two members of Jutsu Force: Which one?

Hana: What?! Skullblade's been lyin' to me! Unless...you're Yamikyuubi! (I think I remember Skull mentioning that Hana belonged to Yami, though I could be wrong.)

Orochimaru: Daddy? Where are you? I thought that Potter kid killed you!

Itachi: -smiles- OK. -holds over cliff with sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom, then lets go- I was gonna tell them anyway. -walks away-

Kisame: Sorry, my friend...but yo mamas so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck!

Zabuza: You're so mean! -runs away crying-

Kisame: I'm gonna go to hell for that.

Deidara: Why thank you...now if you'll excuse me, I have to run from Spidey.

Spidey: Jack, he called Star a bad name.

Jack: -pulls out rusty flaming chainsaws- It's castratin' time! -chases Deidara-

Sasori: Your mom is creepy.

Hidan: It's too late to turn back now...-pulls out scary looking tools-

Kakuzu: No, Monica is still right here in my pocket. -pulls out dollar and looks at it- George?! What are you doing in my pocket? Oh crap, it was Monica! -gives Monica funeral- She was a good dollar, always ready to be exchanged for things, though I always chose to steal rather than spend her. -cries- I'll kill you perverted author, whoever you are!

Zetsu: In what?

Konan: Why thank you. It's too bad you're so girlish. -thinking- heh heh, payback baby!

Spidey: I believe that was a burn.

Pein: Would you like me to start with that organ between your legs? I don't think you're ever gonna need it.

Spidey: I believe that was also a burn!

Tobi: You said that already.

Hinata: -already back in Konoha with Naruto-

Spidey: I asked nicely. Next question.

GuessWho

I suggest you add Patrick Bateman to this little party of yours.  
And shouldn't this be in Crossovers?

Spidey: I have not seen American Psycho, nor have I read the book. And it's already in two different sections, don't make me make a third!. So, no and...no! I'm gonna have to end this chapter early so I can update quickly. But at least I got Skullblade to finally upate the Lone Ninja!

Ryumara: Yays! My life gets to continue!

Spidey: I'm giving the Naruto characters, along with the OC's excluding mine back to Skullblade.

Hinata: Well Spidey, I guess this means good bye...

Spidey: Hinata also stays.

Hinata: Damn...I mean...yay. -hangs head-

Spidey: Just kidding Hinata, you can go.

Hinata: OK. -leaves-

Inner Spidey: -singing in beautiful voice- Even lovers need some time away, I heard her say, from eacho...

Spidey: -thinking- shut the heck up or I'll take that medication my psychiatrist proscribed for you!

Naruto: Bye Spidey! -joins Hinata-

Orochimaru: Thanks for giving me my dad back! -holds up jar of white liquid that was once Michael Jackson-

Spidey: yeah, just don't let it anywhere near the ship, or I'll make him deader.

Konan: -hugs Spidey- I hope to see you at my wedding...and that when I see you that you haven't been killed by the highly trained security guards that I've employed to keep out non-Akatsuki members.

Spidey: Don't worry, I've already developed a clever plan to get in...I can't give you the details but it involves Icy Hot, a bannana, and a slingshot.

Jack: then It shall work!

Tobi: I'll miss you Spidey! -hugs- Rember to be a good boy!

Spidey: -hugs- I will.

Sakura: I've got a date with Skullblade, see ya!

Spidey: Go Skull!

Jiraiya: -hands newest Icha Icha- Don't tell Kakashi that I gave this to you first.

Spidey: I will...I mean won't.

Deidara: Art is a bang! -hands clay sculpture-

Spidey: Why thank you! -takes sculpture, which explodes- Ouch.

Itachi: I'm gonna go now, see ya!

Spidey: Bye, don't go emo like your brother!

Sasuke: I hate you all! -walks away-

Spidey: We hate you too!

Captain Jack: Nobody even asked me anything!

Spidey: Well, there's always next time Ask The Ninjas gets deleted!

Ryumara: Can I stay here? Skullblade is starting to scare me...

Spidey: Sorry, but if you stay here, then no more "Lone Ninja" for me. -throws him out-

Rukia: -runs after Ryumaru-

Spidey: Um...bye?

Lee: Good bye youthful author! May the YOUTH be with you!

Spidey: May the youth be with you too!

Freddy: Well Spidey, I guess I'll be seeing you...-starts to walk away-

Spidey: -grabs him by the collar- Where do ya think you're goin'? You aren't a Naruto character!

Freddy: Damnation!

Spidey: Well, I guess this chapter is over...-misses Hinata already- -thinking- she never even gave me a goodbye hug...

Hinata: -runs back in and hugs Spidey- I'll see you in Ask the Ninjas! -runs out-

Spidey: Well, I guess that stage is over, and it's time to move on!

Sidney: You finally got over Ask The Ninjas! -hugs Spidey-

Spidey: Actually, Skullblade reposted it. That's why I let all the characters go...

Sidney: That's close enough! -still hugs Spidey-

Spidey: Well, I'm not gonna complain, a hot girl is hugging me! -hugs back-

Weird Narrator Guy: Next time on Ask the horror movie icons:...nothing important happens, but read it anyway!

Spidey: Note to self: fire Weird Narrator Guy.


	17. End with a cliffhanger and nosebleed

Spidey: Thank you everyone who has put me on their alert list! However, as this is an ask fic, it runs entirely on Reviews. I didn't make up those questions in the earlier chapters, they were reviews! This story is in two sections, and I haven't recently gotten reviews from either of them or a while... well, I did get one, but it didn't really ask anything. What happened to the people that were reviewing before? I miss updating this fic, and I'm sure some of you miss reading it. If you want updates, review. Otherwise, no updates will ever come. I got two reviews for the last chapter, and they aren't gonna make much sense now that that chapter's been missing for a while. i still intend to post them if I ever update again for comic relief purposes, but they aren't enough to fill up a chapter. Sorry for going against the guidelines in a way that doesn't bring you entertainment, but I'm extemely desperate for reviews. Until then, I'm pulling out he The H-word...

Freddy: Not the H-word! -cowars in fear- _ I can't stay here, maybe i'll move in with Krystal, she'll protect me! _-runs to find Krystal-

Ash: -falls on knees- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-laughs insanely-

Michael: I must get Rainbow Flower to safety! -runs away with stuffed unicorn...I mean real unicorn- Come, we shall move in with the Sacred And Profane!

Hannibal: -shakes head and sighes- I knew this day would come...Clarice, it's closet time!

Clarice: We must hurry! -hides in closet with Hannibal and locks the door-

Leatherface: ...-cries, then runs home to find his family-

Frankenstein: H-word bad! Must protect friend! -runs to protect Skullblade- Friend!

Dracula: Spidey, if you take out the H-word, you'll speak with my law ninja of the night!

Spidey: I'll do what i have to do, and you do what you have to do...

Dracula: Come my children of the night! -flies away with vampire law ninja- I here my son has been practicing law, maybe he can help us! -goes to find Skullblade-

Jason: _Maybe i can hid with Skullblade, Dracula, and Frankenstein. Skullblade's got plenty of room in his ask fic! _-runs away-

Dracula: -stops him- You can't come, find your own relative to mooch off of!

Jason: Well, looks like it's option two! -goes to find The Sacred and Profane-

Norman: -sighs- Well, it doesn't matter to me, since nobody really asked me anything, or cares about me. -suddenly gets an insane look in his eyes- I must get my Norman to saftey, he's such a good boy! I shall take him to the one man who isn't housing any psychotic killers: Snowzinger! He actually cared enought to ask my son something! -goes to find Snowzinger-

Sidney: I'm sorry you had to do this Spidey.

Spidey: I'm sorry too. Hey, aren't you gonna run for your life and continued existance?

Sidney: I...just wanted to say good bye?

Spidey: -glomps- Goodbye Sidney!

Sidney: -glomps back- Goodbye Spidey!

Ash: -gags at the fluffyness- Oh Sidney, i need a hug! Oh Spidey, how could I not give you a hug? Get over it, Dang it! It's just a damned fanfiction that nobody cares about!

Sidney: -gives Ash a death glare- I've got a taser, and you've got testiculars...

Ash: Go ahead, I'll just slip back into non-existance. I'm not even gonna be in the next Evil Dead movie! Bruce won't even play me anymore! You think i want to go back to my dead-end job at S-mart? No! But I'm moving on! You don't see me crying! -turns away- And I'm wearing a rubber cup!

Sidney: -was aiming a taser at Ash's testiculars- Damn it.

Spidey: I'll miss you too, Ash.

Ash: -cries, and glomps Spidey- Sorry i said mean things!

Spidey: I'm sorry that Bruce Campell is refusing to play you. But on the bright side, i got you a present! -shows him Bruce Campells car- I thought i should end this with an act of theft.

Ash: -hugs car- Thanks Red! Now i can return to my sad, lonely existance in style! Well Spidey, it's been fun. If you ever get another review for this from someone besides Skullblade and Krystal, give me a call. -jumps into Bruce Campells Car, and drives off into the sunset-

Spidey: I'm gonna miss that guy.

Sidney: Hi Spidey.

Spidey: i thought you were leaving?

Sidney: No, I'm gonna stay here, cause I lo...cause i have my reasons.

Spidey: Wow, this is getting dramatic. I can't end this without comic relief...maybe we should get everybody back and...

Sidney: WILL YOU JUST PULL OUT THE DAMNED N-WORD ALREADY?

Spidey: But this is a comedy, and we have all this drama...

Sidney: Fine, here's your comic relief: -dances naked again-

Spidey: -nosebleeds- Well, that's good enough for me! Good bye Ask the Horror icons/ Ask Ash, we hardly knew you. -pushes button on wierd control panel thingy- Ask The Horror Icons, and Ask Ash, are now on...Hiatus.

Dun Dun DUUUN!

A/N: This is probably going to be the last chapter, many fics that go on Hiatus never get updated again. It's really kinda sad, but as i said earlier, if nobody wants to review, then nobody gets to read another chapter! That's why this thing is all last chaptery. I don't expect anybody new to review this.


	18. Ask The Horror Icons LIVES!

Spidey: I'm back, with a very very very very very very very late update! It took me this long to get the reviews necessary to complete this chapter! However, i saw the light and am going to continue this story!

Freddy: -gasps-

Ash: -stares in shock-

Sidney: -faints-

Spidey: Go ahead, sue me! Good luck finding out my real name, my home address, and all the rest of that stuff! Roll the reviews...even if some of them were made before Christmas...

**Skullblade**

**Spidey: Well, you got what you wanted from me. It shouldn't take me long to post part 2. Freddy: -kidnaps him- Now... to break dance! -break dances- Jack: Klaatu! Barada! Nikto! By the way, what fic is Spidey planning on putting you in? Spidey: Christmas Fanfic: Christmas With Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!**

Spidey: You wrote that review several months ago, and you just posted part two of the preliminaries a few days ago...I love time paradoxes.

Freddy: Krystal will save me! It may have been several months since I was kidnapped, but i believe in her, cause she is my awesome sister that I never had! What the heck are you doing? You've been doing that for months now! Are you having a seizure? no, if that was a seizure you'd be dead by now!

Jack: Those are the words that would stop the Evil Dead...if they were real! -large deadite behind him disappears- And you will never know until he thinks of a name for it, then types it up, then posts it. So HA!

Spidey: Ah, if only you had written it...but it's too late now! Unless you wanna post a Christmas fic in February. Next Question:

**Krystal**

**Jason: "So...how was your day?" Eh, good.  
-Stalks out of girl's restroom, slaps Mewtwo across the cheek- That's for throwing Freddy in the girl's restroom! -Stalks off to say sorry to Freddy and also to heal his wounds- Mewtwo: -Rubs his sore cheek, sighs- Women, they are so...-Hisses- Spidey: -Is speechless- Freddy: -Sighs- not again…-Teleports to save him from Skullblade, but suddenly stares oddly at Skullblade, to Freddy- What in god's name is he doing?**

Jason: Good. How is your crush on Freddy that only he hadn't figured out?

Spidey: -standing there holding trophy- Um, my arms are getting tired.

Freddy: I don't know... but let's poke it with a stick! -pokes Skullblade-

Spidey: Next question!

**bobafett4242 **

**So, ah, Freddy... the fedora... what the hell? **

Freddy: Are you dissin' my fedora? Squall, Cloud, it's arse kickin' time!

Cloud: Yays, we get to kill something!

Squall: Normally I'd object to travelling with you two idiots, but as Spidey is paying me 500 Gil for every ass-kicking...let's go kick some arse!

-They all jump into Oldsmobile and drive away-

Spidey: Bobafett, I suggest you start drinking lots of cafine, and avoid people with huge swords for the next few days...Next Question!

**DEADITE HUNTER JAZZ**

**Ash:Did u know that if u turn a deadite skelliton in to dust with an mallet that it can't come back-send hundreds of deadites after the entire group- Jason-takes voice away and pulls his mask off and points a bazoka at his face-"DIE U SCUMBAG U KILLED MY BROTHER" Spidey:man u ARE AWESOME -adds salior moon Chars to see chaos- frankinstine:whahahahaha - sends him in to a world so scarry it can only be called Barrnys hide and seek adveture MRATED EDITIon Yes i am evil **

Ash: No, but thanks for the tip. I'll be sure to do that in the future. -grabs mallet and charges at the deadites- It's hammer time! -begins killing them by the hundreds-

Jason: -quickly throws deadite at him and runs-

Spidey: Thanks.

Sailor Moon: Where the heck am I? -sees Spidey- Spidey, you remembered me! Why did you stop watching my sho... -gets sucked out of mysterious air lock-

Spidey: -standing next to lever that opens airlock- Wow, that brought back some bad memories. -sees people staring at him- It was on right before Voltron and i had nothing to do! I hated that show...-hangs head in shame-

Meanwhile, somewhere else...

Barney: I love you, you love me...

Frankenstien: -sends text message to Skullblade- Friend! Help!! Scary purple dinosaur no stop singing! Tobi here too!

Random child: -tugs his sleeve- Would you like to hold tedd...

Frankenstein: -growls-

All the children: -scream, then run off-

Barney: My minions! Oh well, i guess I'll have to brainwa...make him a friend myself...where'd he go?

Frankenstein: -hiding fron the purple terror- Skullblade save me...If he review.

Back with Spidey...

Spidey: Well, that's our show for today. R&R, or Frankenstien may suffer the same fate as Pinhead...

Pinhead: -sewing Teletubby merchandice while singing Teletubby theme song-

Spidey: -shivers at the thought- And i don't think anybody wants that...except Barney, but he doesn't deserve to get what he wants.


	19. Tick off Spidey, run for life

Spidey: I'm back, with super powers! -swings around on a green "Web" line that came out of his nose- The flue finally did some good in the world!

Jack: -after seeing his master container of Icy Hot "webbed" to the ceiling, went on mythical quest to find Spidey some Florida orange juice; is now in Chile-

Ryu: I miss jack...

Spidey: Well, luckily for you, you'll be seeing him in fanfiction soon enough! I'm gonna post the first chapter of that story any day now...

Ryu: Yay, I'll be in fanfiction!

**Skullblade**

**Spidey: Do you love... random old guys with beards! Freddy: -stops break dancing- Enough of that... now, for a slow dance! Now, I only need a partner... -goes off to find another girlfriend...who isn't a flat-chested She-Devil- Jack: Kletu! Virada! Nike! Spidey: When the hell are you posting that fanfic! Franky: Franky? Oh, that dinosaur is going down. -loads a shotgun- Spidey: Sadly, I was unable to complete my Valentine's Fic. However, I like the concept enough that I'm going to write it still! **

Spidey: No, why?

Freddy: It better not be Krystal...she's like a sister to me!

Jack: Those word's mean nothing to me! -doesn't notice army of deadites behind him-

Ash: Not again. -sighes stressfully, and charges toward them with mallet-

Spidey: I'll get too it eventually. I've got lots of ...homework. -goes to play videogame...I mean to do homework!-

Spidey: Ok. Take Tobi with you, he knows Barney's evil ways of brainwashing well. He was almost a victim himself...

_Meanwhile, in a World scarier than the yaoi dimension and Teletubby land combined..._

Barney: -pulls out brainwashin' banjo- I love you, you love me, let's team up and take over the world violently... -stops singing- I have a strange feeling I just pissed off someone more powerful than I...but who cares? I'm Barney, I'll never die! -continues singing gay song of brainwashing-

Frankenstein: -can still hear him in hiding place- Friend will kick scary dinosaur's arse! -clenching hands over ears-

_Back with Spidey..._

Spidey: Good, cause I made some bets. Come on Itachi! Next question...

**Deaditehunterjazz**

**ASH:Also what i meant was if u kill E-ash with the saw didn't work so u blew him up thats what i ment with the mallet so i just watched all 3 eds so far #2 was funny at the end u got scared so bad also why did u got to the cabon 2 times with 2 grils named Linda? also a quate i shall reapeat Brute force is the ultimate awnser -shoves my self in for kicks (if thats ok)- frankinstine i'll save u -pulls barnys mask off to revial... EVIL ASH DHJ:"but u were... Evil ash:i'll swolow your soul DHJ:-pulls out a Buster sword-Do u really want to dance? alaso i add THE VOLTRON FORCE in to the mix hey read tiger dude i always hated u eivl ash -attcks DHJ- DHJ-cuts E-Ash in half and shots him with a .44 mag With hollow tip rounds in his face- afterwords DHJ:hey ash looks like u got a problom -pulls out 2 Dubble barrle .44 hollow revolver(the ones that hold 12 shots and shots 2 at a time lol )- just the a HUGE DEADITE Come in too vew on top is E-ASH DHJ:aww come on i killed u **

Spidey: I should have known that wasn't the real Barney. The original Barney is dead.

Ash: Explosives can solve all the world's problems! -blows up BadAsh with a rocket launcher-

Bad Ash's head: Damn you Ash-hole!

Ash: -smashes head with shovel- He never gives up...but he'll never get 'A-Head

Spidey: -pulls out banjo- Joy to the world, Barney is dead. Ash just smashed his head!

Meanwhile, in the world of Barney...

Frankenstein: -is still hiding-

Child: Where the hell am I?

Other Child: Let's get the hell out of here! -both start to leave-

Real Barney: -breaks out of the ground, looking like he was just crushed and spent several months burried deep underground- Let's have some fun! -starts to brainwash them with a song-

Children: -scream and try to run, but are drawn to the horrible singing-

Frankenstien: Friend better have holy water...

Barney: Now that I'm back to life, I can get revenge on Skullblade, Spidey, and Deaditehunterjazz! How dare she kill my emergency replacement! -sings gay song about getting revenge on Skull, Jazz, and Spidey-

Back with Spidey...

Spidey: Good thing the anti-Barney shields are up! Next Question!

**Shaderoth**

**shaderoth suddenly apears out of nowhere if youneed reviews i shall review my first review for this ask fic Jason:?how is it that if you died as a little and over a couple years you become how you are now in other words how did your body age? Freddy:torture forces freddy to watch viva pinata 4-kids version of one piece and barney and the telitubies having an orgy. ash:have a bfg (big f#$ng gun) from doo for you (gives ash bfg) kill kill kill. frankinstine:gives thumbs up. dracula: your lawers are powerful but mine are better and invisible and robots (court summons apear on all the vampire lawer ninja's chest) spidey:i shall now steal your exit performs jutsu exit steal no jutsu steals spideys exit. **

Jason: Um...magic?

Freddy: Yeah, I've seen Skullblade dancing, and I've been tortured since the beginning of this fic, so I'm not phased by anything any more. Do you know Krystal? Well, you're gonna have a nice long talk with her soon.

Spidey: Actually, Krystal hasn't been on since i put it on hiatus, and I have no way of telling her i'm continueing this, so we might not see her for a while.

Freddy: Krystal's not coming? -is sad-

Ash: Thank you new best friend! -kills random deadites with BFG- Time to pay Pyramid Head a little visit! -loads gun and walks away, while dramatic music starts playing-

Meanwhile, in Silent Hill...

Pyramid Head: -reading news paper- I have a feeling I should be worried about something...

Back with Spidey...

Frankenstein: -gives thumbs up back-

Dracula: Those aren't my law ninja anymore, I gave them back to Theif. My son's lawyer helps me with the law now!

Lawninja: -holding "will work for food" signs-

Spidey: MY EXIT! Jack...hand me my chainsaws...

Jack: -gives Spidey rusty flaming chainsaws, and runs- Spidey's gone into...protective fanboy mode!

Spidey: AUTHOR DUEL! -chases Shaderoth with rusty, flaming chainsaws-

Hannibal: Well, as Spidey has gone into an insane, homicidal rage, I guess I'll have to close the story. Review or...can anybody think of some good threats here? Ah well, just review the story, will you? And maybe ask me something next chapter...


	20. Jack is so cool! Danny sucks

Spidey: I'm back! Without the flue! However, my mysteriously acquired webbing also seems to have disappeared. -ish sad-

Jack: -is happy- Don't worry Spidey...at least you have your author powers!

Spidey: You're right! I just wrote what is becoming my best story yet! It's called Legend of The Icy Hot Ninja! It's my favorite so far...besides this story of course!First question...

**Skullblade**

**Spidey:...I said it for the randomness. Freddy: No need to worry. I want someone else... will you help me find another girlfriend? Jack: -does turns around motion with my hand- Spidey: You posted it. Franky: -teleports to the dimension of kid's shows- Too bad Barney isn't the highest authority here. That would be the guy with the red sweater. Spidey: Er... Itachi? That may not be wise. And now for more Lone Ninja writing**

Spidey: Randomness is good.

Freddy: OK...how about Sidney?

Spidey: -goes into Uber Powerful Protective Fanboy Mode-

Freddy: -backs away- Um... Orihime?

Jack: Is that some sort of insulting hand gesture? -hands become engulfed in flames-

Ash: -getting slammed into the ground by a huge deadite behind him- I wish someone with gigantic summons was here to help me out of this...

Meanwhile, In a world of unimaginable horror...

Barney: -sneaks up on Skullblade with a banjo, and raises it in the air to hit him-

Frankenstien: Dinosaur is right behind you! -has flashbacks of friendship with Skull- NO!!! -tackles Barney-

Barney: -blows him away with his powers of bad singing- I will make the world stupider, and noone can stop me!

Back with Spidey...

Spidey: -pulls out chainsaw and sighs- Looks like I'm gonna have to go check on Skullblade...after this chapter's over. Next Question...

**Shaderoth**

**spidey:(pulls out two homing giant rusty flaming chainsaws of doom bfg's)bring it mother F#$#er (fire's bfg's 500 time's a second. jason:magic dosen't exsist in your dimmension. dracula:well it's a good thing you did because it turns out those court summons were bombs. frankinstein:it is sad that you can't rad here (gives hooked on reading) there (gives thumbs up). ash:igood new's i found the homming version of the bfg (give's him homing version) spidey:you cannot stop me exit steal no jutsu steal another of spidey's exits. **

Spidey: Author no jutsu! -BFG explodes-

Jason: Yeah it does!

Dracula: It also turns out that those Law Ninja were Kage Bunshins... and I may have to sue you...

Frankenstein: Yay! -eats it, thinking it's food- So, I know how to read now?

Spidey: No...but I've got my own jutsu! BFG Stealing No Jutsu! -steals BFG, and points it at him- You may want to run for your life now...next question!

**krystalkrueger777**

**Freddy: -Suddenly reappears in front of him and gives him a hug-Hey Freddy. It's me Krystal, do you still have that friendship necklace that I gave to you? **

Freddy: Krystal! You're alive! -glomps- And yes I do! It makes a great combat weapon! -swings at Spidey with it-

Spidey: -dodges- Krystal, nice penname! Now I'll be able to PM you! Well, I've gotta go help Skullblade kick some dinosaur arsehole. - goes into dressing room, and comes out armed to the teeth- Ash, to the Spidey mobile!

Ash: Yay! Arsehole-kicking! -jumps into Spidey moblie-

Spidey: -drives off into the sunset-

Meanwhile, in another world...

Barney: I have a strange feeling I just pissed off ANOTHER being far more powerful than I!

Back in the Spidey Lair...

Hannibal: -sighs- Not again...

Jack: Don't worry, crazy old guy. Being Spidey's coolest OC, I'll take over!

Danny: -tear runs down face- I used to be the coolest OC...

Jack: -kicks him out an airlock...I mean window- You've been discontinued! Anyway, Spidey wanted me to tell you that he'll be raising his own army, called...Brotherhood of the Spider? Well, I guess that's coughnotcough original...R&R, or Barney will win, and take over this fanfiction! Oh, and I'm in a story! It's called "Legend Of the Icy Hot Ninja"! If you review it, I will continue to reign as Spidey's most popular OC! If you don't...Danny will continue existing... Gosh I hate that guy.

Danny: -floating in space...er...yeah, space- Jack J. Williams, I will kill you some... -gets hit by random UFO-


	21. OMG! 4 Reviews!

Spidey: I'm back, with...random weapons! Random rocket launcher! -blows up Freddy-

Freddy: Ow.

Spidey: First Question...

**Krystalkruegar777**

**Freddy: -RD aka Random Dude suddenly appears- Oh crap, this is so not going to end well Freddy. **

**[RD -Singing a musical- Jason is gay with Frank Cotton! Ash got rape by a demon-tree! Pinhead is a emo cross dresser! Dracula is ugly as sin! Krystal is in love with Freddy, oh yes she is! **

Jason: That hurt my feelings sir. -pulls out machete and walks toward him-

Ash: -points shotgun at random guy, and sings- Random guy, you're gonna die...

Pinhead: -summons hell chains-

Dracula: I get laid more than you do! Come my children of the night! -army of vampires appear behind him-

Freddy: WHAT?! -faints-

Spidey: RD, I'd run if I was you. I'd run REALLY fast. Next Question!

**Shaderoth**

**spidey:that may be true unless aurther poison no jutsu (bfg's in spidey's hand explode into aurther poison smoke)bwhahahhah. **

**frankinstein:...that will not work unless logic death no jutsu. that's strange it should have worked whait a second danm you thief you tricked me maybe i shuld read the contract blahbl;ah motherf#$er well i know longer own my soal soul or any of my possesions. It's barney's fault i will destroy him and france. **

**dracula: yeah i have nothing for you to take so you cannot sue me. **

**spidey:now to cover my escape timetravel summon summon jutsu sundenly (the sugar demon falls through a portal that appeared out of nowhere) while shaderoth just dissapears. **

Spidey: -is unaffected by the poison gas- Was that supposed to hurt? Exploding Shaderoth no jutsu!

Frankenstien: Theif bad. Barney worse. France... France have nude beaches. France good!

Dracula: Meh, I'll wait till one of your desendants becomes rich, then sue them! -laughs evilly-

Spidey: -knocks sugar demon at him with baseball bat- NOTHING CAN STOP PROTECTIVE FANBOY MODE! -continues chasing, while shooting at with machine chainsaw launcher- Sugar control! -teleports all forms of sugar away from him- If you're an American, then you'll be driven insane in no time! Next Question...

**bobafett4242**

**Oh, really freddy? KILL me? Well, I got... What? He's not... he's not... Oh, come on, He even said... Pff... Well, Freddy, I was going to have Leatherface come and rough you up a little but, ah... Only characters left are Erin eSurance and Axel Steel. ...Gimme 'em both, I need some goddamn affordable rate with my metal... **

**Axel: HELL YEAH! Bring it, Pizza face! I can kill you faster than ah... Uh... Um... **

**Erin: Than you can get an affordable rate on eSurance, with Quote, Buy, Print? Axel: OK! **

**Me: ...Freddy, please hurry. **

Freddy: -walks towards him painfully slow- I'm eventually gonna connect my claws with your anatomy in a way that's both painful and rather unhealthy! But first I'm gonna stop at Subway! -walks toward subway, leaving him with annoying advertising icons-

Spidey: Erin, look! it's a giant monster that is somehow related to auto insurance companies other than E-surance! -points to Barney- Heh heh, that should solve my Barney problem... Next Question!

Skullblade

**Spidey: Indeed it is. **

**Freddy: Not them... someone who's single, and doesn't think I'm crazy. **

**Jack: Baka. **

**Ash:-handseals- It's not giant... but it's powerful! -smoke clears with... Gene Simmons. Feel the Rock! **

**Barney: ... we meet at last... for the second time. **

**Spidey: I may write more often now! **

Spidey: Yes...-laughs insanely-

Freddy: Will you settle for a woman that knows you're crazy but doesn't care?

Deadite: I WILL SWALLOW YOUR...-is blown away by the power of rock-

Ash: Rock kills deadites...well, except for Heavy Metal, but I don't count that as rock.

Meanwhile, in the evil land of PBS...

Barney: Yes...-pulls out lightsaber- Let us end this battle!

Spidey: OK! Don't worry, I'll take care of Barney if you don't survive! -is in gigantic mech- I finally found a chance to use this thing!

Hannibal: Well, I guess this is the end of the chapter!

Spidey: Not yet! This is the first time for several chapters that I've had more than three reviews... and only one of the reviews is from Skullblade! We must comemorate this!

Sidney: Spidey...I'm really not in the mood for 'commemorating' in front of all these people...

Spidey: Don't worry, you can retire as nude dancer, I've found someone else...

Yoko: Why am I in this ship?

Spidey: We um...are an advanced alien race that have admired your...um...beauty! We want you to dance for us!

Yoko: Let me think about it...hellz no!

Spidey: I'll ressurect Kamina and bring him here if you do! -whispers- I might 'accidentally' forget to teleport Kamina's pants here as well...

Yoko: You can stop now...you had me at Kamina! -takes off her small amount of clothes and starts dancing-

Spidey: Meh, I give it a 5 out of 10...-nosebleeds and faints-

Sidney: -comforts Yoko- I only got a 7 out of 10.

Kamina: -gets teleported there- Where the hell am I? And where are my pants?

Yoko and Sidney: OMG! -nosebleeds-

**A/N: Here's to 21 chapters of randomness! Thanks to all the reviewers! You make this possible without me having schitzophrenia!**


	22. Forgetting some people?

Spidey: I'm back, with randomcrazsexiness!

Ash: Is that even a word?

Spidey: It is now. First Question...

**Shaderoth**

**Spidey: (body poof into smoke to reveal the log) i propose a truce if you accept i will give you the world's largest yuri fanart and icha icha libary all signed by jiraya. **

**frankinstein: okay france is off my kill list well i got all my possesions back thanks to some help from the log he's such a great friend. **

**Barney: summoning jutsu (the log and chuck noris appear) yeah chuck owes me a faver so get him chuck (then poceeds to hop into wing zero meck). **

**Dracula: yeah im not going to have kids they will most likely turn on me evancualy killing me so no chance of decendents and im immortal thanks to a mint. **

**Spidey: insane part uhm im already insane and that's not the sugar demon it's behind you point behind spidey and angry you took away it's sugar you fool. **

Spidey: Deal!

Frankenstein: Log good!

Meanwhile, in the world that noone wants to go to...

Barney: I also have allies! -Teletubbies attack Chuck-

Chuck: Kyah!

Back with Spidey...

Heero: Hey! That's my Gundam! -chases-

Dracula: Well, you'll eventually become rich, then your possessions are mine!

Spidey: Like, zoiks! -runs away Scooby style, followed by Hannibal, Sidney, a girl that resembles daffne and Akamaru- Wait, Akamaru? How did you get here?

Akamaru: Woof!

Spidey: Oh! that makes perfect sense! Too bad Kiba couldn't come though. Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Spidey: Ku-ku-ka-chu! **

**Freddy:... I wasn't expecting any other answer. **

**Jack: Look behind you. **

**Ash: I have many Music-related summonings. **

**Barney: -punches him in the face- **

**Spidey: Giant mech? Pssh. My Music summons could take that out. Yoko: -holds up a 1- Meh. **

Spidey: Bohahahahaha!

Jack: -looks, but all the deadites are gone- I don't see anything...

Ash: Sweet.

Barney: -goes flying through a wall- Ha ha ha ha ha! -gets up- I'm a zombie now! nothing can kill me... -gets stepped on by giant metal foot- Being crushed...my one weakness...how did you know...-dies-

Frankenstein: Friend! -glomps Skull-

Spidey: -piloting mech- Thanks Skull, I could never have gotten him outside long enough to do that if you hadn't punched him. And this mech is powered by rock, so your music summons would only make it more powerful! Next Question!

**KrystalKruegar777**

**Random Dude aka RD: -Runs away from the horror icons in cartoon-style- **

**Freddy: -Slowly kneels down to him- I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I was just afraid to admit it to y-youâ€¦-Suddenly get's kidnap again, but this time it was Satan- Freddy help me! I...lov- **

**Satan: Shut the -Glass breaks- up! Tramp! -Teleports himself and me into hell-**

Freddy: That wasn't Satan, that was Mephisto...but that byotch is goin' down! Squall, Cloud...

Squall and Cloud: ROAD TRIP!!! -drive off after Mephisto-

Spidey: That better not be the Spidey mobile they just drove off in...

Sidney: It was.

Spidey: My baby! -gets in mech- Nobody steals my vehicles!. -flies off after them- Next Question!

**Kurt Baros aka The Falcon **

**::sits in under ground bunker looking and monitor...all the sudden every monitor onboard the just...i mean spidey's hide out turns on:: hey spidey...you forgot leather face, chucky, wishmaster, and candyman...by the way pin head is dead one of my character's named kale mills killed him along with most of his cronnies ::drops a hand full of nails to the floor:: leather is next on his hit list ::sighs:: anyway ::presses a button and a loud roar is heard:: that should take care of the super smash brothers...**

**my question is to ash...in the comics after you jumped from the marvel zombie universe you landed in some type of werewolf universe what do you plan on doin to get out of that mess...**

**and to freddy which you are also on kale's hit list when you were alive you killed little kids not 18 or above teens what changed your hunting hadits...::looks to **

**hannibal:: keep up the good work..::korn's -going blind plays in the back ground::...**

**also spidey were are the zombies or the acid blooded aliens or the bada$$es that hunt them...come on you got to give them some points too ::waves goodbye and the untracable signal winks out:: **

Spidey: What did the Super Smash Bros ever do to you? And Leatherface has been here the whole time...he just hasn't been asked much. I haven't seen Candyman...and Wishmaster granted a wish that my hair would turn pink, so he's being punished in the Yaoi dimension.

Wishmaster: Somebody wish me out of here!!!

Ash: I was prepared! -pulls out werewolf repellant- I always knew I'd end up in a world ruled by werewolves...

Freddy: He'll never figure out my clever disguise! -puts on glasses, with fake nose and mustache- And I was never picky...but I'm trying to cut down on my killing for Krystal...

Hannibal: I shall! Would you like some brains...I mean caviar?

Spidey: I didn't want anyone eating my brains. I like my brains. I also didn't want to be alien chow...but I'll put in some more characters!

-Alice, Shawn of the Dead, Ridley and Jill appear-

Shawn: Ed!

Alice: OMG! You look just like me!

Jill: I know! -starts talking with Alice about methods for zombie killing-

Ripley: Where am I? Damn it, I better not have been cloned for Xenomorph experiments again...

Spidey: No, you're just here to answer random questions! And Matt already tracked you. My assistant, Sai, is delivering perverted fan art to your home as we speak! Next Question!

**izuko-chan**

**I've been waiting for something like this to pop up. : **

**Freddy: Are you secretly gay? Is the raping of all the innocent, buxom, blonde girls (like Lori) just a cover-up?**

**Jason: How can I ask you a question? You can't talk... **

**Hannibal: I'd tap you. The younger you...at least. : **

**Pinhead: You're a sex addict. **

Freddy: I never rape people, I just brutally murder them and eat their souls! And I'm not gay, I actually like someone...don't wanna say who it is though.

Jason: Spidey gave me the ability to talk with his author powers!

Hannibal: Yeah, most people would, but...

Clarice: -jumps between her and Hannibal and pulls out a pistol- MINE!

Pinhead: I am not! I'm a sadistic masochist! Get it right! l

Spidey: I'm glad you like my story! Would you like me to send Sai over?

Sai: -running back and forth delivering perverted fan art to reviewers-

Spidey: Well, that wraps up this chapter! R&R, and Sai might come over to your house! If you don't R&R, you'll get our second option...

Orochimaru: Kukuku...

**A/N: I just thought i should point out some characters that I think have been forgotten, but are still here: Norman Bates, Frank, Michael Myers, Clarice, and Sidney. They might disappear from the story altogether if they don't start getting questions...well, except for Sidney of course.**


	23. 0M6! 5P1D3Y'5 71CK3D 0FF!

Spidey: I'm back, with mech upgrades! -points to mech, which now has a propeller attached to one arm- Um...Ash, why the propeller?

Ash: You'll thank me when noone is eating your soul.

Spidey: O...K... First Question!

**Skullblade**

**I summon... Don Kanonji! -crosses arms- Bwahahahahaha! Jack: Maybe you should talk to Enaku for awhile... Ash: -summons Weird Al- Barney: No one likes you anymore! BWahahahahaha! Franky: Glad to see your okay. Spidey: All hail the power of music! **

Jack: Who is this Enaku person? And why is that guy poking Jason with a stick?

Don Kanonji: Be gone evil spirit!

Jason:... :(

Spidey: You may want to get him away from Jason...

Ash: Um...hi?

Barney: -is dead, but now a hollow- I will swallow your soul!

Frankenstine: Me too! Friend kick Barney's panzy arse! -didn't see Spidey's mech step on Barney-

Spidey: Yeah...he broke every bone in Barney's body. Yay music! Next Question!

**Shaderoth**

**Spidey: i updated my ask the wizards the books are on there way oh and i should have somone guard it (turn's to look at libary which is gon and in it's place is a note which Shaderoth picks up and reads) dear shaderoth i stolen all the pressious book from kakashi)... **

**Jason: Why did no one ever use necromancy to control you since you are tecnoly a zombie. **

**frankinstein:yup it is now i'm going to a parade for the log want to come. **

**Dracula: I'll Give you the deeds to 100 Blood banks if you forget about suing me. **

**pinhead: there's a magnet above your head. **

**Hanibal: you rock **

**Spidey: Orochimaru that completly cruel you have potential to be evil and you can have your exit i'm making my own (pulls out bfg and a katana and runs into a horde of zombies).**

Spidey: 0M6! 1'LL H4V3 70 R34D 17!

Jason: Um...noone ever tried?

Frankenstine: Yay! Parade!

Dracula: Alright, but only if you sign this contract stating that you will indeed give me those deeds.

Pinhead: -looks at magnet- So, my arch nemesis, we meet again! This time I shall...run the hell away! -runs-

Frank: -accidentally turns on magnet-

Danny: -trips Pinhead-

Pinhead: Oh shi...-gets attached to magnet-

Hannibal: I know. -bows, and confetti falls to the ground-

Spidey: All the more reason to review! Nice exit by the way; I give it a 7. Next Question!

**krystalkrueger777**

**-In Hell- Me: -Chain up onto a wall- Set me free Mephisto! -Starts to struggle- Mephisto: -Chuckles darkly- Never, I want to see you suffer down in hell. Freddy: -Stops struggling from the chains, closes eyes as a single tear fell from one of them- Freddy, if you can hear me. I'm really scared down here and I wish you were down here with me. Freddy, I got a good question to ask of you. Do you l-love me back or do you love someone else instead? If you do love someone else, I-I'll understand... **

Freddy: Well...-crashes through wall in Spidey's Car, runs over Mephisto, grabs Krystal, and drives away- ...Well, would I put up with these two idiots if I didn't? -points to Squall and Cloud-

Cloud: I'm not compensating!

Squall: I never said you were.

Cloud:...screw you Leonhart!

Squall: What was that you said? I was busy not caring...

Cloud: I'm gonna kill you! -pulls out sword-

Squall: -reading manga- Really?

Cloud: Yeah reall...

Squall: -was talking about the manga- I can't believe Itachi is alive after that...

Cloud:...That's what your mom said...

Squall: Cloud... have you ever played FF8?

Cloud No...

Squall: LION HEART!

Cloud: Oh shi...-gets blown out of the car-

Freddy: DUDE! YOU BLEW A FREAKIN' HOLE IN SPIDEY'S FREAKIN' CAR! NOW HE'S GONNA KILL US!

Squall: I blame Cloud for talking about my mother.

Freddy: -turns to Krystal- See what I mean?

Spidey: -gigantic mech floats down behind them- WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY CAR? -arms several missiles-

Freddy: This won't end well...-speeds up-

Spidey: -chases, firing missiles at them- 0M6! 1'M 60NN4 K1LL Y0U'R3 50RRY 455!!!

Hannibal: -sighes- Not again...

Jack: That's Spidey for ya!

Hannibal: How do you know...

Jack: I'm his OC, and thus a product of his mind.

Hannibal: That makes sense...Well, review, or Freddy, Squall, and Cloud may never be seen again...

Spidey: -still chasing the car and firing missiles at them- H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4!


	24. Sidney's stupid prank

Spidey: I'm back...with anger management problems! Luckily, I have anger management solutions! -summons Light Yagami-

Light: Where am I...Holy shi...

Spidey: -hits with baseball bat- That's for killing L! And Raye Penbar! And Naomi...-gives long assed list of names, hitting him for every one of them- I feel better now!

Light: my spleen hurts...

Spidey: It's over there.

Light: I know...at least I'm still alive! -chandelier falls on him-

Spidey: -turns to L- And you didn't want to hang a chandelier up there...

L: Yeah, but you didn't need a chandelier to hurt Kira. A few more whacks with the baseball bat, and he'd have stopped twitching...and the floor's on fire.

Spidey: -sighs- Always looking at the glass half empty. Why can't sit back and enjoy Light's pain?

Light: The parts of me that still have feeling are are on fire! The other parts seem strangely untouched...or maybe they are? No, I'd feel it.

L: I am...-roasts marshmellows over the fire-

Spidey: You better share those. First Question!

**Shaderoth**

**Barney: I hve infoformed soal soceity of your horrid existance they are all after you. **

**Spidey: have you ever heard of the movie IT you should add that clown Derry, IT, pennywise. **

**Freddy: Use the freddy. **

**Pinhead: hey there's a person you should meet his names hiden. **

**Dracula:of course after my atorney thief reads them over i'm being riped off but it's worth it.thief done he'll sign this if you sign this document hand over document. **

**Jason: sweet then it could work to the necromancy bookstore. (jumps into wing zero and flies away) **

Barney: I will STILL swallow your soul...right after I eat those damned children of course...

Spidey: Ok! -Pennywise appears-

Pennywise: ...And then I'm going to...wait, where am I? And where's Bill Denbrough? We were about to have some fun!

Spidey: Fun is something you won't be having here. You're here to answer questions. Resistance is futile.

Pennywise: Well, I guess i should...-face suddenly turns grotesque and he turns to spidey- RAR! BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA! SHREEEOOONK!

Spidey: -yawns- Did I mention that I have author powers, and that I've seen the mini-series? -throws pie at him- That's battery acid, you slime!

Pennywise: No it's not...-pie hits face- IT BURNS!

Freddy: Use the what? Whatever you said got censored. -swerves to avoid missile-

Pinhead: As soon as I get off this infernal magnet I shall have to meet them! -magnet falls to the ground, crushing him- Who did that?

Frank and Danny: -whistling-

Dracula: Why would I pay taxes to not sue you? And I'd rather not do business with Thief. He's still mad about the law ninja... Ah well, my contract cancels this one out anyway. -turns to Theif- Beware...-scary music starts playing, and darkness surrounds the room- If you rip me off, my three sons will come for you...

Jason: _Wait, is he gonna control me? Nah, he'd never do that. He's my new best friend! _

Spidey: Shaderoth, Huo wants his Gundam back. He just hasn't been the same without it...

Huo: -drunk, and crying- Wing Zero! Why did you get stolen? And why is Relena craving strange foods and blaming me for it? I need another beer... -falls over- I can still drive...

Spidey: Great, he's passed out on the floor again! Next Question!

**izuko-chan **

**More questions for the . : **

**Freddy: Who do you like? Hmm? I bet it's some girl with big boobs. You seem to like those. **

**Jason: Did he, really? Do you believe it? I've always wanted to know that. **

**Hannibal: Orly?! Because you were one sexy docter, let me tell you that. :3 **

**Pinhead: You get off on your pain and the pain of others, you mean. Pain is pleasure to you -- therefore, you are a sex addict. PERVERT! **

Freddy: There's more to love than that! And I don't really know what she looks like.

Jason: Believe what?

Hannibal: I know, but I have a girlfriend.

Clarice: -lowers gun- I won't kill you, cause I know how irresistable he is. -turns to Hannibal- Closet?

Hannibal: Yays! -carries her into closet-

Pinhead: Yeah...but I don't have sex, and thus, can't be addicted to something I've never done. Ha! Try arguing logic with a demon.

Spidey: -opens mouth to say something, but closes it- Can't think of a comment for this. Next Question!

**Krystal Kruegar777**

**Freddy: -Leans forward and gives him a small peck on his cheek while he was driving Spidey's car at top speed- I'll fix Spidey's car so he won't kill you guys. -Makes the hole disappear in a blink of an eye- Oh, one more thing to do.. -Makes tape appear over Squall's mouth- **

Freddy: Ok...but can we wait till he runs out of missiles, just to be safe?

Spidey: Dang it, I'm out of missiles! Looks like I'll be using the Tesla Deathray...

Freddy: -sees lightning hit the ground- Ok, scratch that! And it's too late for Cloud...I saw blood coming out of his head when he was blown out of a car...probably didn't help that he got hit by a missile in mid-air as he fell out

Squall: -concerned look- _Why do I feel as if my best friend just died and it's my fault? I didn't even like Cloud..._-has a half hour long inner dialouge-

Spidey: Now for my car to be avenged! -fires blast of lightning at them- Muahahaha, wait a second! -notices car is fixed, and presses button, causing lightning to stop an inch from the car- Sorry, guess I got carried away..-scratches the back of his head- Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Don Kanonji: Bwahahahahaha! **

**Jack: -throws Enaku at him- Talk to this pervert! **

**Ash: Careful, he's insane. **

**Barney: Damn Hollows! I summon!! THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF SHINIGAMI! **

**Franky: YOSH! **

**Spidey: I finally read volume 21 of Bleach! **

Don Kanonji: -continues hitting Jason on the head- I will send you straight to Heaven!

Jason: -is annoyed-

Jack: Um...hi?

Enaku: W4NN4 60 L00K 47 H1N474 1N 7H3 5H0W3R?

Jack: No...she's not taking a shower at the moment. -is sad-

Ash: So am I! DEADITES!

Barney: What are they gonna...-gets stabbed in the face with several zanpuko.

Spidey: Well, that certainly solves that problem. Unless of course he get's ressurrected as something else!

Several hours earlier...

Papillon: -finds Barney's body- Don't worry, you may seem dead, but you will live on as a homunculus! -uses Barney's body to create weird Homunculus parasite thingy- Now I just need to find a random hobo, inject this into him, wait a week, and I'll have a Barney type Homunculus!

Several hours after that...

Lord Weis: -finds Barney's body- What the hell was this thing? Oh well, i guess the only way out will be to ressurect it as a frankenstine! -drags away Barney's body-

Present time...

Spidey: Yup, I bet we'll never be seeing him again!

Franky: YOUTH! Wait, why me just say that?

Spidey: I'm not really sure which volume I'm on. I was to the point where Ichigo and the Quincy were just hanging out, eating lunch together. Well, that about wraps up another chapter!

Sidney: R&R...or Spidey will do something stupid, like pulling out the H-word again.

Hannibal: Not the H-word! -hides in closet with Clarice-

Ash: NOOOOOOOO! -falls to his knees and laughs insanely...again-

Michael: I must protect Rainbow Flower! -grabs stuffed animal and runs-

Spidey: -gets out megaphone- FALSE ALARM PEOLE! THE REVIEWS ARE COMING IN STEADILY. NO H-WORD HERE!

Everyone: -sighs, and glares at Sidney-

Spidey: Dang it Sidney, you KNOW that panics the characters!

Sidney: -smiles evilly- That's why I do it...


	25. Crazyrandomsexiness!

Spidey: I'm back, with crazyrandomsexiness! 

Sidney: Is that even a word?

Spidey: It is now. First Question!

**Shaderoth**

**jason:well i'm back from destroying all necromancy books incluiding the necronamican. **

**Huo:Relena is probably pregnant and here's your gundom back i stole one from your alternante who was evil and is now dead (throws wingzero at hao). **

**Dracula:hmm well then he's usless (pulls out death note and starts writing) Thief tommorow morning heart attack of all his contracts nullifying well that takes care of him. **

**pennywise:(jumps into chuch noris gundom)you have a five second head start. **

**Spidey:i know control the sugar demon fear me bwahahaha Shaderoth away (flies away in chuck noris gundom). **

Jason: But now there can't be anymore Evil Dead movies! 

Huo: Yay! Now I have TWO Gundams! And that would explain why she's been hormonal and craving strange food.

Dracula: He already found a Deathnote and spelled his own name wrong three times, thus making him immune. 

Pennywise: I have my own Gundam! -gets into Jackie Chan Gundam- Well, it's technically not mine... but I'm sure Spidey won't mind! 

Spidey: WHY MUST EVERYBODY STEAL MY VEHICALS! And Shaderoth, I have a bloodline called Sugar control, so I could force the demon to do a dance if I wanted to! -uses bloodline to force Sugar Demon to do the "YMCA" dance- Muahahahahahahahaha! Next Question! 

**Skullblade**

**Don Kanonji: -grabs the stick from him- **

**Jack: She is taking a shower... she just got in, which is in no way connected to secret spy cameras. **

**Ash: ...Maybe he'll write an Evil Dead song... **

**Spidey: Did you remember to burn the corpse? **

**Franky: It's a mystery of Life. **

**Spidey: I don't know where that is... -summons **

**Alucard- Find the dino's body! **

Don Kanonji: My stick of heaven! Now how will I shove it in the evil holes to excorsize demons? 

Spidey: -chokes back laugher- 

Don Kanonji:...that sounded different in my head.

Jack: And Naruto is my best friend! I can't in good conscience look at his girlfriend in the shower. 

Spidey: You memorized Hinata's showering habits too? Not that either of us still watches her in the shower. 

Ash: But there are already Evil Dead songs. There's even a musical based on Evil Dead! 

Spidey: Funny thing, when I got there, the corps had disappeared! I just assumed that i had been dragged away and eaten, or had randomly exploded. 

Franky: Life mysterious... 

Spidey: It's right after Ichigo killed the freakin' huge hollow. Don't worry, all forms of ressurection that could be used on him take a few weeks.

Meanwhile, somewhere else...

Papillon: Ha ha! I've found a way to make a homunculus parasite that reaches the brain in a few short days! Now if I could just find a damned hobo...

Luffy: -over hears him- You evil jerk! I'll beat you up! -goes to attack him- 

Papillon: -whistles- 

Washio: -comes out of nowhere and kicks Luffy's arse- 

Papillon: -examins him- You'll do. -pulls out syringe-

Luffy: My only regret is that I could have had more meat... 

Back with Spidey...

Spidey: Next Question! 

**Restless Goddess**

**"where the derogatory term for sexual intercourse am I?" dies laughing FUNNY STUFF! **

Spidey: -is touched- Thanks! Have some perverted fan art! Sai...

Sai: -walks up- What's your favorite pairing? 

**Voidangel Sorren**

**Sidney: What the hell? Can't you just die or something? **

**Jack: Hows the ninja training goin, loser? **

**Ash: NECRONOMICON NO JUTSU! throws said book at him **

Sidney: Nobody wants to kill me anymore...ooh, a quarter! -bends over to get quarter, not noticing several knives that fly directly over her and imbed themselves in a wall- It's my lucky day! 

Jack: It's going great. Is that the best insult you can come up with? 

Ash: Necronomicon? -pulls out shotgun- Where? -gets hit in the head by book-

Spidey: Well, that wraps up this chapter! 

Sidney: Now...

Sai: Please...

Freddy: Review...

Jason: Or...

Bad Ash: I WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL! 

Spidey: -sighs- How did you get in here? 

Bad Ash: Ash looked in a mirror! Now, start bowing down to me, or I'll kill you all!

Spidey: Jack, take care of this idiot. 

Bad Ash: What the...

Jack: ICY HOT FIST!

Ash: ER...BOOMSTICK BLAST! 

Bad Ash: -finds himself missing most of his limbs- Well..this is unfortunate. Wait, don't kill me! I'll answer questions! I don't want to cease to exist!

Spidey: Ok. Next chapter, Bad Ash will be joining us! Now R&R, or Hannibal will eat a puppy and a kitty! 

Hannibal: He's not joking! I'll do it, I swear i will! I'm a derranged psychopath! 


	26. All Your livers are belong to us!

Spidey: I'm back with Crazysexyrandomness! And Sexyrandomcraziness! And Randomsexy...ow! 

Ash: -hits him upside the head- STOP...MAKING...UP...STUPID...WORDS!

Spidey: Ok, Ok! No more stupid words. First Question! 

**Shaderoth**

**pennywise:but does your gundom have a bfg pulls out two giant bfg pluss i know how to use the chuck norris gundom in it's god mode (chuck noris gundom and the bfg turns gold).can you deafeat super chuck noris. **

**Jason:that's why we have time travel we just go back in time get it come back to our time and do the movie in fact i have a contract to retreave the necronamicon for the movies now so everyone's happy. **

**dracula:if thats so writes shadiroth three times in deathnote now now i'm immune and that mean he was immortal now since shigami use the death note to kill people and if he's immune he can't die. **

**spidey:i wasn't going to use the sugar demon to kill you i use it as a body guard cause of this (points at sidney) 5 jiggly (sidney's boobs grow bigger) i can use the most awsome tecnique 5 jiggly (sidney's boobs grow more then fly's off in super chuck noris gundom). **

Pennywise: I don't have a BFG...and can you beat Jackie at Ladder-fu? -summons ladder of destiny, and uses said ladder to knock the guns out of his Gundam's hands- What now? -shoots him with BFG- Heh heh, and i didn't even have to use my final weapon... 

Jason: That's awesome! How are you gonna convince Bruce to play Ash again? 

Dracula: Actually, you don't have to have your name written in the Death Note to die. Shinigami just write names in the Death Notes to shorten the lives of humans, thus increasing their own. And it doesn't work if it's done on purpose. But I'm a horrible speller, so if you'll just tell me your name, and give me a detailed description of yourself...

Spidey: I know...but it's fun making it dance! -makes the Demon sing the llama song- 

Sidney: Great, now people are gonna think i got breast implants! -pulls out rusty kunai, and holds it over fire to make it nice and hot- Somebody's gonna be missing part of their anatomy soon! -runs after Shaderoth, but trips- Damn, how does Hinata MOVE with such huge things? Geez... oh well, at least there aren't any other... -shirt rips open-...side effects. -gets out HUGE gun, and continues chasing Shaderoth- 

Spidey: -nosebleeds, but remains standing- Next...question...-loses conciousness- 

**Skullblade**

**My random Death Note knowledge pays off! Ash, it's four times, and can't be done on purpose! :) **

**Don Kanonji: -doesn't choke back laughter- **

**Jack: I thought Ryu was your best friend... and who cares about conscience? Either way, what about Inuzuka Hana? **

**Evil Dead: Yes, but a Weird Al song! **

**Spidey: Spontaneous Combustion? **

**Franky: Yosh. **

**Spidey: ...That was quite far back... And for some reason, I feel like Luffy is being creepy. **

Don Kanonji: What? I don't get what's funny about my stick going into the evil spirit's hole. 

Spidey: -falls on the ground laughing- 

Jack: He is. Can't I have two best friends? And I'm looking at her now! -watching Hana on Spidey's security cameras- She's kinda hot... -nosebleeds- Why did blood come out of my nose...why do I feel faint...-falls over- 

Enaku: 0M6! 5H3'5 N07 Q173 45 H07 A5 H1N474, 8U7 5H3'5 607 N1C3R 800B5... -nosebleeds, but doesn't fall over- 

Spidey: I don't think that's gonna last. -grins knowing something they don't-

Evil Dead: We will swallow your soul! -get blown away by Ash, who then says a oneliner- 

Spidey: it powers cars, guns, AND explosives! 

Frankenstein:...youth? 

Spidey: I only started reading recently...and has he been eating people, regenerating no matter how badly he's injured, and singing annoyingly stupid and repetitive songs? If so, he might be a Barney type homunculus, and you should immediately stab/shoot him in as many places as possible with a Buso Renkin. That's the only way to kill the suckers. Next questsion! 

**Izuko-chan**

**Freddy: Of course you do. She has big boobs. And why are YOU talking about love? The only thing you love is and killing. **

**Jason: DO YOU BELIEVE IT?! Say yes. Say yes. **

**Hannibal: stares DON'T LET HIM TAKE YOUR LIVER, CLARICE! D: **

**Pinhead: splutters But pain is sex to you! Isn't it? ...I still think you're a pervert. You like to do naughty things to your victims. **

Freddy: She's more of a penpal...and I kill to live...and cause it's fun...but mostly to live! 

Jason: -backs away- Um...no? 

Clarice: Why would he take my liv...-falls over- 

Pinhead: Well, I guess torturing people and turning them into cebonites DOES qualify as naughty. 

Spidey: Well, that's one review away from completing this chapter! Next Question! 

**KrystalKruegar777**

**Bad Ash: -snatched Ash's boomstick and goes trigger-happy with it- Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! -Puts the boomstick in Bad Ash's mouth- And swallow this too, ugly. -pulls the trigger, then finally brings him back to life- Sorry, I've always wanted to do that. -throws the boomstick back to Ash- **

**Frank: GIVE ME A BIG HUG OR ELSE I'LL HAUNT YA IN YOUR DREAMS! **

**Freddy: -hugs him- So how your day/or night? **

**Everyone: -throws RD to them- have fun toturing him. RD: -meekly- Eep. **

Bad Ash: My throat hurts...as does my left arm and my right leg. 

Spidey: Um...you're arm is over there...and your leg is kinda missing. 

Bad Ash: It's in the toilet... 

Ash: You have my permission to hurt him as much as possible! 

Frank: ...ok...-hugs cautiously- 

Freddy: Izuko was mean to me again... -hugs back- 

Pinhead: TORTURE? -grabs him and runs off- 

Spidey: -hears loud screams- Pinhead, put a freakin' gag in his mouth, we're trying to have a story hea...-screams stop- Never mind. 

Pinhead: -walks out- Check out my new human suit! 

Everyone: 00 

Spidey: It resembles RD...

Pinhead: THAT'S WHERE I GOT IT!

Spidey: -backs away from the cebonite- Well...that's it for this chapter! Hannibal... 

Hannibal: Review, or your liver is MINE! -laughs insanely- 

Spidey/Sidney/Sai/Hannibal/Ash: REVEIW! 


	27. Craziness, Corn, and Cthuhlu

Spidey: I'm back...with extreme editing! Sorry for how this chapter was when it first turned out...the formatting screwed over Skull's review for some reason, and there was no authors note at the begining. I appologize, and am already being penalized for my stupidity... -is wearing a dunce cap, and sitting in the corner-

Sidney: -is pulling his ear- What have we learned?

Spidey: -groans- proof-read before you post...

Sidney: That's right! First question!

Spidey: YOU EVIL FEMALE! YOU STOLE MY LINE FROM ME! -cries in emo corner-

**Shaderoth**

**pennywise:yeah my gundom cannot be destroyed you have no chance chuck roundhouse kick (roundhouse kicks pennywises gundom. **

**jason:i threaten to make him watch every barney tellitubby and spongebob all at the same time if that doesn't work we'l have chuck noris play the part. Draculauhmm yeah im not that stupid ask skullblade. **

**Sidney:(looking back as he runs from sidney)run run as fast as you can so i can see your boobs jiggle more. **

Pennywise: -Gundam blocks roundhouse kick- Jackie-Chan is unpredicatable! -throws Shaderoth's Gundam into space-

Jason: I can't see Chuck playing Ash.

Dracula: Look in to my eyes!

Sidney: Pervert! -puts on robe-

Spidey: -still staring at her boobs- Ooooooooh. -drools-

Sidney: Spidey, I believe now is the part where you say 'Next Question'...

Spidey: -not paying attention-

Sidney: -slaps Spidey-

Spidey: -looks around confused- Next Question!

**Izuko-chan**

**Freddy: You have a penpal? It must be pretty hard to write with your glove. And guess what? I saw a Nightmare on Elm Street book at Borders. And I'm going to buy it. AND READ IT! Jason: tears come to eyes You mean...you DON'T believe it? But Jason-kun! Hannibal: I told you so. You didn't listen to me. Now he's munching away happily on your innards. Tsk tsk. Pinhead: That's right. You bad, bad pervert.**

Freddy: It takes skills. Wait, I'm in books? Why don't they pay me? WHY?!

Jason: Just kidding, of course I believe it!

Clarice: -gets up- Sorry, I tripped. What was that about my innards?

Pinhead: Alright! I'm a pervert! -read Icha Icha: Bondage-

Spidey: Great, now he's perverted AND sadistic. Next Question!

**Voidangel Soren **

**Hannibal: Doing anymore movies? **

**Pinhead: holds up hammer, smiles evily lemme get those for ya. **

**Bad Ash: Has your love life suffered as a result of being dismembered? Jack: THINK FAST! thows 5 shadow shuriken at him **

Hannibal: No..."Hannibal" was the last movie...and damn them for not letting me score with Clarice in the movie! Dang it, me and her got together at the end of the last book!

Pinhead: Hmm...sound fun! -holds still-

Bad Ash: No...it's more likely the rotting flesh and muscle that messed me up in that category. But I did have this girlfriend that didn't seem to mind...but then one day...she went to S-mart...never came back...so young and hideous too...Damn it Shebichia, I told you the Dismemberer was working there, but NO! You had to have your Cap'n Crunch... -suddenly looks around- not that I actually care, being evil and all! -turns away, and wipes away single tear-

Ash: She shouldn't have jumped over me while I had a rifle! Throwing me into those cans and attacking my potential love interest didn't help her position either...and she did steal those boxes of Cap'n Crunch...

Jack: -taps him on shoulder from behind- Was that fast enough?

Spidey: He held his own for three seconds against Chuck Norris. I wouldn't mess with him. Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**-gets weird look in eyes- uhh...**

Sidney: -gropes-  
-in other lands-  
Hinata: -gropes-  
Tsunade: -gropes-  
Ino: -gropes-  
Ten Ten: -gropes-  
Sakura: ...nah.  
Temari: -gropes-  
Best for last!  
Android 18: -gropes-

-suddenly has sunglasses-

Spidey:-pulls out lightsaber- I would keep my hands away from her if I were you. -goes Uber-Powerful Protective Fanboy-

Sidney: -tazers him between the legs-

Hinata: -henge disappears, revealing Orochimaru- Kukuku...

Tsunade: -was a very realistic puppet that Sasori left behind when he left-

Deidara: -dressed like Ino, and has a confused look- Why are you groping me?

Tenten: -was actually a skrull in disguise-

Sakura: -is actually Hinata under a henge- Ha! It worked!

Temari: -sparks shoot out of neck, and falls apart, revealing it to actually be a robot-

Android 18: -is actually Sakura using henge- SUPRISE TIME! -grabs Skullblade, and drags him toward Pinhead's closet-

Spidey: Has anybody seen my sunglasses? They look just like those ones...

Jack: well, I guess it's time to end the chapter.

Spidey: Actually, i was gonna introduce some new people! Please welcome Cutlu...Cthutut...Cthulhu...the dude with the name I can't pronounce!

Cthulhu: I'm free from the depths of the ocean! Now it's smitering time!

Spidey: No it isn't...this is an ask fic.

Cthulhu: What?! Dang it! Well, the prophesy says that after I rise from the depths of the sea, that I will destroy the human race...except for my followers of course...I'm TOTALLY not gonna repay them with backstabbity death...

Spidey: technically, there was no "rising" involved. I kinda teleported you here.

Spidey: Better luck next time you get ressurected. Our next guest...Linoge!

-old guy dressed like a cat burgalerl appears-

Linoge: Give me what I want, and I will go away...wait, where am I? I was just telling this town on this island that I would make them all walk into the ocean if they didn't give me one of their children to pass on my legacy!

Spidey: Well...if it makes you feel better, they were ABOUT to give you what you wanted...of course, I teleported you here right when that was about to happen...HA! Suck that Steven King! Now your miniseries is ending in a HAPPY way!

Linoge: I demand to be returned. Don't make me tell everyone about...er...what the heck?

Spidey: -mentally humming the song that gets on everybody's nerves-

Linoge: -clutches his head in his hands- THAT INFERNAL SONG IS NOW PLAYING IN MY HEAD AS WE SPEAK! DAMN YOU SPIDEY!

Spidey: Oh, and how could we forget...Yog Slogoth or whatever his name was!

Yog: I am Yog sothoth! I'm powerful and evil! I need human sacrifice! Muahahahaha!

Spidey: -smacks with a newspaper- Bad demon! Bad!

Yog: Insulent human! -turns into giant worm-

Spidey: -summons giant bird-

Yog: Meep! -turns into weird, floating bubbles- Nothing you do can hurt me! NOTHING!

Spidey: Surrender, or I'll seal you into the Yaoi dimension.

Yog: Ok, I won't cause problems!

Pennywise: -whispers to Linoge- What a loser...-both laugh-

Yog: Shut up!

Spidey: Our next guest...the Dunwitch horror!

Dunwitch Horror: -appears, but isn't seen-

Spidey: Crap, forgot it was invisible...

Yog: -is glomped by invisible monster- Need...air...

Spidey: Our next guest...Isaac!

Isaac: ...and that, is exactly why the adults must be sacrificed to He-Who-Walks-Behind-The-Rows...where the hell am I?

Spidey: Um...not over the age of 19?

Isaac: Regardless, H.W.W.B.R. will smite you!

Spidey: There are no rows of corn in my secret base...

Isaac: THEN I WILL HAVE TO GROW THEM OUT OF A DEAD BODY!

Spidey: -pulls out flamethrower- Just try it...

Isaac: Well...I guess you have me at a disadvantage. What do you want?

Spidey: You are now in an ask fic. You will answer questions or I'll tell your followers that you're actually 30 something years old, but short enough to pass as a 9 year old!

Isaac: They'd never believe that!

Spidey: Actually, they seem rather gullible to me...

Isaac:...I accept your terms.

Spidey: Well, that's all of the story for now! Review, or I'll send that Dunwitch guy after you!

Dunwitch Horror: -is standing right behind you-

Everyone: REVIEW!!


	28. Cthuhlu Demands Revengistration

Spidey: I'm back...with problems...there seems to be a conflict between the Lovecraftian and Steven King-ian characters...

Cthutlu: All I want is to put everyone that doesn't agree with me into a camp...is that so wrong?

Linoge: Yes! Just because someone pissed you off by...

Cthutlu: IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT ANYMORE!

Linoge: Is so!

Cthutlu: Is not!

Linoge: Is too!

Cthutlu: Is not!

Linoge: Is not!

Cthutlu: Is too...DAMN IT! That's it, everybody that doesn't want to get smited, come over here and tell me everything you can about yourself so I can decide whether or not to trust you!

Linoge: THAT'S MADNESS!

Cthutlu: I don't care! From now on...you will all register with me or die! Who's with me?

Linoge: I'm just as capable of smiting as he is.

Spidey: Hmm...this reminds me of something that happened in the Marvel-verse...something that pissed off all the fans...Oh well, I'm sure it won't be like that. Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Sidney: -grabs crotch- **

**Hinata: -girlie scream- **

**Tsunade: ...It feels human! **

**Ino: ...Deidara! -runs- **

**TenTen: ...So? **

**Sakura: Damnnit! **

**Temari: ...Damnnit! **

**Sakura: I would have preferred the death from the real 18 over this! **

**-Skullblade walks in- I told you, Future Me. They like me LESS than you. **

**Cthulu: ...OMG! The Lovecraft Old One! Must destroy Ancient Evil! -gets out the H.P. Lovecraft Necronomicon- **

Sidney: That won't protect you from Spidey...

Spidey: -gets in Gundam, and points BFG at him-D0N'7 70UCH H3R 7H47 W4Y! -has EXTREMELY scary look in his eyes-

Orochimaru: -glomps F Skullblade- We're best friends now!

Spidey: Um...skull...you know everything that happens to him eventually happens to you, right? -pokes 'Tsunade'- It's a doll...it was Sasori's wedding present to his wife, Mary Shaw, but she never wore it for him...

Deidara: Don't touch my moobs! -blows up Skullblade- Now to return to Ask The Ninjas! -jumps through portal-

Skrull: I'm a male skrull...

Hinata: -laughs her arse off, then jumps into escape pod and leaves-

Spidey: She didn't even say goodbye...

Sidney: -slaps forhead- Spidey...

Temaribot: -randomly explodes-

Sakura: -drags F Skull out of closet disappointedly- Pinhead is still in their, torturing some guy named Light...Oh well, looks like it's time for the good ole' blung kunai! -pulls out a rusty kunai-

Cthutlu: I will pinche slap your soul! -attacks him-

Spidey: As long as he has the Necronomicon, he should be...

Ash: NECRONIMICON! -shoots book out of Skullblades hands, then shoots it hundreds of times till it's no longer readable- Evil! -keeps shooting it-

Linoge: -whispers in his ear- Join me, and we will make him go away...

Spidey: -pinches slaps Linoge- Don't drag my reviewers into this! Next Question!

**Voidangel Sorren**

**Isaac: So, has the whole being immortal thing affected your views and beliefs? Jack: darn...whispers there's a gay mafia. Yog: What movie are you from? Linoge: Stephen King is a loser. Cthulhu: HA! You're a cuttlefish!Katon: Gokuku no Jutsu! Hannibal: Dinner is served. He's a god, so he should taste better than human. Orochimaru: ...why were you hengeing as Hinata? Other than for the lulz. **

Isaac: No. He-Who-Walks-Behind-The-Rows will smite those that don't believe in him, along with all those over the age of 18 that refuse to be sacrificed, and... -rants with B.S. for several hours-

Jack: I don't see how that effects me.

Yog: I was in Jerusalems Lot, but I'm mainly from the Lovecraftian mythos.

Linoge: BLASPHEMY! -makes him slap himself- Nobody disses my creator!

Cthutlu: Ouch...that was rather painful...

Hannibal: -pokes it- It's still moving...

Orochimaru: I just wanted to scar Skullblade for life. Kukuku

Spidey: I think you already did that with the Princess Orochi outfit...Next Question!

**Shaderoth**

**(shaderoth gundom explodes killing those insinde and shaderoth walks out of nowere in ninja jesus gundom)hey have you seen my chuck norris gundom and future me i'm trying to kill him for being me there can be only one. **

**jason:yeah and the fact if the movie goes to just five seconds long it was incredibly bloody but short really and a lot of people died **

**Dracula:hmm i know i shoulndt but what the heck (looks in draculas eyes) **

**sidney:weird it felt like i was possesed for a second but i can't be possesed. **

**isaac:your god will kill you. **

**dunwitch:(narrows eyes)invisible huh take this (turns invisible) now you can't see me either haha **

Spidey: Pennywise made a fake one, blew it up, then ate future you and stole it...and he dented my Jackie Chan Gundam! -gets into Jackie Chan Gundam- I shall help you hunt him down!

Jason: That, and Chuck isn't Bruce Campell, and looks nothing like Ash...I can't imagine him as Ash...

Ash: Chuck Norris eh?

(Ash's Imagination)

Ash (played by Chuck Norris): -stares at bloody stump- You may have taken my left hand, and I may be busy stopping the bleeding with my right hand, but I still have my middle hand! -hand comes out of beard and punches deadite-

Deadite: -is completely unaffected- Who are you anyway?

Ash: Ashley J. Williams...Texas Ranger...

Deadites: -stare at him for a while-

Ash: What?

Deadites: -laugh their dead arses off-

(Back to Reality)

Ash: BRUCE, YOU MUST RETURN TO EVIL DEAD!

Dracula: -hypnotizes him- You will grope Sidney, then stand very still...

Sidney: -loads shotgun- Oh yeah, like I'm gonna fall for the "I was possessed, please forgive me!" excuse!

Isaac: LIES! He-Who-Walks-Behind-The-Rose would never do that! He is holy and...well, I guess he will when I reach the ripe old age of 19, but I'll already be dying of old age by then.

Dunwitch: -lifts him by the throat- I can smell you! -glomps- Now I have a new best friend!

Spidey: If you want to keep it, you'll have to feed it, pody train it, and walk it three times a day so it gets plenty of excersize! Next Question!

**Izuko-chan**

**Freddy: Yes, you are! Isn't it amazing?! I read a little thing of it, and you seemed out of character...your speech was too smooth. \ BUT I STILL WANT IT! Will you buy me it because I love you? And can you teach me these 'skillz'? **

**Jason: OF COURSE YOU DO! :B **

**Hannibal: Oh, well. He still wants your body...for more than one reason! **

**Pinhead: Ooh! Can I see? :D**

Freddy: I'm kinda broke right now...do you know a bookstore where they take souls? And behold: -takes off glove-

Jason: Do you need a hug?

Clarice: Damn right he does!

Pinhead: -holds away book protectively- No! It's my pron! MINE!! -hisses-

Spidey: He's just cranky cause Sakura won't come out of his special closet...

Sasuke: -tries to claw his way out- Help me...

Spidey: -waves, and gives thumbs up-

Sasuke: -is dragged back in-

Spidey: Well, I guess that wraps up this chapter!

Sidney: REVIEW!

Hannibal: or I'll eat a kitty, AND a puppy!

Spidey: -holds away puppy protectively- Please R&R

-jumps onto Godzilla's head and rides off into the sunset-


	29. ATH Civil War and Annihalation

Spidey: I'm back! with more updates on the conflict!

Cthuhlu: -giving large speech- It's called the Horror Icon Registration Act! Obey or I'll hunt you down!

Spidey: -becomes uber powerful- You're aware that this is my ask fic, right...

Cthuhlu: Yes...that's why you and Sidney are exempt from the act!

Spidey: Ok, but if this gets as crappy as the Marvel Civil War, you're going down! First Question!

Michael: -thinking- _Ok...Linoge is much cooler...but Cthuhlu gave me candy..._

**Skullblade**

**-the Real Skullblade- Sidney: No, but I don't like myself. **

**Orochimaru: ...He's still screaming. **

**Spidey: No... I'm preparing myself now. **

**Deidara: ...That sentence was disturbing. Skrull: **

**Skrulls have no gender. **

**Hinata: Creepy. **

**Temaribot: FS looks burnt... **

**Sakura: -grabs popcorn- **

**Cthulu: ...Damn you, Ashley J. Williams. -is eaten- **

**-random note on ground- Now, back to playing Kingdom Hearts 2... I mean writing fanfiction...no, KH2 is right.**

Sidney: But I like you...ish...

Orochimaru: That's probably because Sakura isn't finished yet...

Spidey: You might wanna consider not going back in time, that would be rather helpful.

Deidara: Your face is disturbing! -blows him up again-

Skrull: -turns into Orochimaru- I do now...I think...and if we don't have gender, how was the Hulkling born?

Hinata: You think I'm creepy? -teary eyes-

Spidey: Must...not...give...her...thousands of Cinnamin rolls! -runs off to find cinnamin rolls-

Temaribot: Mission complete...-loses power-

Spidey: -takes hat off- She was a good robot...oh well, guess I'm gonna need a new one! -presses button, which ejects her into space-

Sakura: -sticks head out of closet- Does anybody have some alcohal? -sees Skullblade- I'll be seeing you shortly. -winks-

Spidey: -holds his Playstation hostage- Update your fanfiction...NOW! Next Question!

**Shaderoth**

**spidey:how dare he snaps finger and (ultimate jesus gundom apears and shaderoth teleports inside it) you may use my ninja jesus gundom if you wish (shaderoth flies off in ultimate jesus gundom looking for Pennywise) **

**issac:what does He-Who-Walks-Behind-The-Rose do to immortals? **

**dracula:okay (walks over and grops sidney and stands still) **

**sidney:turns and runs while sidney is distracted by the other shaderoth **

**spidey:thanks i will be sure to take realy good care of it plus now i have a way to dispose of bodies sweet wait can he eat humans body's i forgot (teleports away in gundom) **

Spidey: I don't know if Jesus would approve of that name...but he has a sense of humor! -jumps into Gundam- Jesus would probably make a good ninja anyway!

Isaac: He eats them, then makes waste of them, then eats them again! -laughs maniacally-

Dracula: That's not really Sidney, that's that darned skrull.

Sidney: I know one way to stop you! -gets naked-

Spidey: -nosebleeds- Just make sure you don't feed him sugar...Next Question!-passes out from bloodloss-

**Voidangel Sorren**

**Jack: It affects you much more than you know. Like the fact that they own this site. **

**Hannibal: Then kill it. Arent't you an expert at that sort of thing? **

**Pinhead: hammers his pins in There! All fixed. **

**Sidney: How did punching out that reporter chick feel? **

**Freddy: Hey, Fred. There's a thing called Proactive, have you heard of it? It should clear those pimples right up. **

**Dracula: You do realize there's cooler vamps than you? Like Lestat (Interview with a Vampire, Queen of the Damned) and...well, I loved you in Bram Stoker's Dracula, but you looked and acted like a stuck-up sissy pansy in Van Helsing. What's up with that? **

Jack: Wow...scary thought.

Hannibal: My main area of expertise is killing PEOPLE, not appocolyptically powerful Demons...

Pinhead: YAY! That was fun, AND painful!

Sidney: It felt almost as good as killing all three Ghostfaces.

Freddy: My skin melted. I don't really get zits anymore.

Dracula: Lestat is my cousin. WHAT?! How dare they make me a sissy! Come my children of the night! Tonight we shall dine on Richard Roxburgh! -flies away with Vampire law ninja-

Spidey: Something tells me Richard won't be in any movies any time soon. Next question!

**krystalkrueger777**

**Evil Ash: -Roughly kicks him in the crotch 6 times, then beats him with two shovels, then finally pokes him right in the eye- E, it's fun torturing you. **

**Frank: Where did you found that music box anyways? **

**Wishmaster: Mm, alright, I wish you were out of the Yaoi dimension. **

**Freddy: -About to go over and hug him, but stops in her tracks- Fred I'm sorry if I made you too fluffy towards me, and -Holds back tears- y-you can throw away the friendship necklace that I gave to you. -Was about to walk away, suddenly breaks down crying- RDB (Random Dude's Brother): -To Freddy- It's more then just a mere friendship/or penpal-necklace, Frederick. **

Bad Ash: -cries- Your so mean!

Ash: -watches- It's pain amuses me.

Frank: I got it from some guy. I traded a bannana for it.

Wishmaster: -escapes from Yaoi Dimension- Freedom!

Spidey: -sends him back- He hasn't been punished enough yet.

Freddy: But I like her! -glomps- How about penpals with priviledges? -turns to RDB- And stay out of my business, or you'll end up like your brother...

Sakura: -sticks head out of closet- Sasuke isn't moving anymore, I think I broke him...can I have another?

Freddy: -throws RD into the closet- Enjoy.

Spidey:...great, now who am I gonna give Pinhead? Well, That raps up the fic...

Michael Myers: WAIT! I have an announcement to make! -gets on stool, and pulls off mask- My name, is Michael Myers, and I've been a killer since I was 9! Oh, and I'm on Cthuhlu's side! I support the Horror Icon Registration Act!

Cthulhu: -gives him candy- Good boy...

Michael: YAY! -eats candy-

Spidey: Cthulhu, Linoge, are you aware that there's a bigger threat coming? -gets phone call- WHAT?! A whole army of yaoi fangirls you say...want to kill whoever they think stands in the way of yaoi you say...ATTACKING ASK FICS YOU SAY?! -puts away cell phone- Quick, everybody stop fighting so we can repel this threat!

Horror Icons: -randomly start fighting over something stupid-

Spidey: Crap...I guess it's time to take this into my own hands. -gets into Jackie Chan Gundam- I only hope it's enough! I'm starting my own army called the Spidey Corps to repel this threat. If you want to join, post you profile when you review!

Profile...

Name: Spidey3000

Appearance: Crazyrandomsexilly handsome, red haired, blue eyed.

Contributions to Army: Is the leader and founder. Also has multiple Gundams and other weapons.

Spidey: You could also join this incredibly stupid Civil War as well, but I wouldn't advise it...

Cthulhu: Join me...registration is the new...um...whatever you humans find popular these days...and you'll probably win if you join my side!

Linoge: True...but I killed off Roanoak colony cause they pissed me off.

Spidey: We're doomed...R&R.


	30. Operation MEATSHIELD

Spidey: I'm back...with more allies! Thank you for those of you who have avoided this stupid war to fight the real enemy...YAOI! Operation M.E.A.T.S.H.I.E.L.D. would fail without you!

Jack: -sides with Spidey- I like the side that ends up with me kicking alien arse!

Spidey: That's one on my side!

Linoge: you don't get a side Spidey, you're neutral!

Spidey: Neutrality is a side of it's own. If you wanna be neutral, join my side!

-All of the original characters go to Spidey's side...except for Michael of course-

Michael: I'll stick with Cthulhu to the end! Hey, where's Rainbowflower?

Rainbowflower:... -is on Linoge's side-

Michael: But he gave us candy man! How could you join Linoge?

Rainbowflower:...

Spidey: -sighs- First Question...

Linoge: No, I believ it's time we talked about your neutrality...

Spidey: -goes uber powerful Protective Fanboy- I SAID FIRST QUESTION!!

Linoge: MEEP! -hides-

**Shaderoth**

**Spidey:(shaderoth and tobi and vodermort apear)spidey i bring horrible news my ak fic was destroyed by yaoi fangirls and there's worse news they didn't take voldermort and they have harry potter and hey stolen all my gundoms sidney:(curently in protective Aurther mode)the yaoi fangirls will die (summons army of shugar demons kill the yaoi fangirls (sugar demons teleport away **

**Skrull:(cuts hand off)great now i need a new hand **

**(turns to ash) any recomandations **

**Linoge:i'l help and by help i mean give you weapon?**

**video game monsters i'l help more if you join my anti yaoi force **

**Spidey:spidey sure i'l join your army **

**Name: shaderoth **

**Appearance:completly covered in pitch black armor and an aura of evil **

**Contributions to Army: sugar demons anti yaoi jutsu's and yuri fanart **

Spidey: Dang it, how's Hermione? And Ginny? And what about Luna? Crap, we must rescue them! -gives him the crappy version of Wing Zero- And those Sugar Demons seem to be doing some damage...but sadly, it isn't enough.

Skrull: Why did you cut your hand off? And this whole "yaoi fangirl" think reminds me of this thing that happened to my race, when this guy called Annihalus started attacking our worlds...

Ash: Do you have a weapon that's hand-sized that you wouldn't mind having for a hand? If not, we could always use a medieval gauntlet.

Linoge: I'm powerful enough to make a whole colony get up and walk into the sea. However, if you could give me a child, around the age of 9 to be my apprentice, that would be helpful. Or you could just join my army.

Spidey: I don't know what you mean by "Videogame Monsters". Sorry. And yuri fanart seems to hurt them. Sai, get painting!

Sai: -paints picture and loads it into the fanart gun-

Spidey: I plan to hold them off at ATN! I hope Skullblade doesn't mind us having a climactic battle in his fanfic. Next Question!

**krystalkrueger777**

**Evil Ash: Mm, well be glad Pinhead is not torturing you instead, ugly. -pokes him with a sharp stick- And act like man, not a blasted pansy. **

**Frank: Oh you got to be freakin' kidding me! **

**Wishmaster: -sighs heavily- I wish you were out of the Yaoi Dimension. **

**Spidey: Can I keep the Djinn and also ask him questions? -puppy sad eyes- Pretty please. **

**Freddy: -kisses deeply on the lips, then hugs him happily- Si, I'll be your penpal with...well, you know. **

**Horror Icons: STOP! Can't you see there is a war going on with the Yaoi fangirls? **

**Name: krystalkrueger7 **

**Codename: Bladed-Scorpio **

**Appearance: mysteriously-beautiful, short light brown hair, bluish-grey eyed. **

**Contributions to Army: Is the female spy/healer of the army. **

Evil Ash: NEVER! -cries in emo corner-

Ash: -laughs at his pain-

Frank: I'm not...he must have really wanted that banana

Wishmaster: I'm free! -is trapped in teletubby land- NOOOOOOOOOO!

Spidey: -tries to resist- Ah...Hinata must have trained you! -throws Wishmaster to her and runs-

Freddy: YAY!

Horror Icons: -ignore her except for the ones that were already on Spidey's side-

Spidey: We could always use a Spy/healer...Operation M.E.A.T.S.H.I.E.L.D. depends on it. Next Meathshield...I mean, next question!

**Voidangel Sorrn**

**Name: Voidangel "Frosty" Soren **

**Appearance: Bronzed skin, black hair, brown eyes, average height. **

**Contributions to Army: Has power over life and death, can make guns out of air, and has encyclopedic knowledge of jutsu. **

**Cthulhu and Linoge: ok...you're both psychotic. **

**Sakura: Are you just gonna leave that Sasuke there? Recycle, or you'll ruin the planet. **

**Hannibal: So...you could kill all these people, drive Clairice to insanity, and still look good doing it, but you can't find a way to kill a fking cuttlefish? **

**Pinhead: don't mention it! **

**Jack: And there's even a gay sect of the K. They own CNN. **

Spidey: What? The profile is at the TOP of the review? BRILLIANT! You can be one of my advisors!

Cthulhu/Linoge: JOIN ME, I'M BETTER! NO, I'M BETTER! SHUT UP JERK FACE!

-continue trying to kill eachother-

Sakura: Whoops, sorry! -throws Sasuke into the Recycling furnace-

Hannibal: I tried frying it, cutting it to pieces, and eating it alive... constipation is bad enough when it isn't somehow still alive...I will have revenge! -lights Cthuhlu on fire-

Pinhead: Yayz! -pins shoot back out- Ah gee...

Jack: Well, that doesn't really effect me.

Spidey: Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Sidney: Thank you. **

**Orochimaru: ...I think he enjoys it. **

**Spidey: Unless it ends up like Dragon Ball Z time travel, where it wouldn't change anything. **

**Deidara: ...Boom. **

**Skrull: They can change their body completely... **

**Hinata: No! That's not what I meant! **

**Spidey: ...Temaribots for Sale! **

**Sakura: ...I thought you dumped me? **

**Spidey: ...I finished it already. But I'll try. Pressuring me will just make it slower... ...Okay, this seems Rip-Offish. But you know me well enough by now. **

Sidney: Don't mention it!

Orochimaru: Ew, you're weird in the future!

Spidey: Or it could end up like Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy, where in one book it's impossible to change something, and in another book, the time flow is so screwed up, they have people protesting how screwed up it is.

Deidara: It's bang biotch! -blows him up again-

Skrull: Yes...unless we get pregnant while in female form, then we're royally screwed. We could also be slaughtered in cow form and not turn back into skrulls, yet turn back when killed in human form! Oh well, at least in this fic I'm safe...

Skrull Kill Krew: -drives in and shoots him hundreds of times, then drives away-

Skrull:...ouch. -dies-

Hinata: Then what did you mean? -eyes get even tearier-

Spidey: No thanks, I already have too many as it is...I INVENTED Temaribots.

Sakura: No I didn't. That was karin disguised as me... wanna meet me in the other closet? -points to Hannibal and Clarice's closet-

Spidey: Seems rip-offish? It IS rip-offish! But I don't really have a choice...the YFG are getting closer everyday. I have this crazy idea to unleash the original sugar demon on them, who would go insane and attack them, weakening them enough for us to easily defeat them when they reach your ask fic!

Skrull: Hey, that sounds just like the Nova Corps' plan to unleash Galactus on the Annihalation wave...

Spidey: -shoots skrull- Shut up Skrull! Nobody loves you!

Skrull: -cries-

Sai: -walks up to Spidey, panting- The Yuri Guns are fully loaded, sir!

Spidey: Great...now we just need a large pile of spare ammo!

Sai: Say what now?

Spidey: Sai, we're at war, quit slacking and go paint me some perverted yuri damn it!

Horror Icons: -continue fighting amoungst themselves-

Sidney: Do you think we have a chance, Spidey?

Spidey: Of course I...no, no I don't. Unless we get some reviews!

Sidney: R&R, or this site may soon be controlled by Yaoi fangirls...


	31. Insert Crazyrandomsexy title here

Spidey: I'm back...with an army! Thank you to everyone who joined! I have a feeling that Operation M.E.A.T.S.H.I.E.L.D. will be very successful!

**Izuko-chan**

**Freddy: Oh, that's pretty magical. And I think I saw one down the street...ON ELM STREET. **

**Jason: Yes! I would love to hug you! **

**Hannibal: Of course he does. Be wary! **

**Hannibal: But-but! I'm the one who revealed you for your perversion! I deserve a peek! TT **

**Sasuke: You're a uke. Go back into the closet. **

Freddy: Only a true wearer of the glove can use it! -runs off to Elm Street- WHADOYA MEAN YOU DON'T TAKE HIPPIES? COMMUNIST! -sounds of stabbity death are heard- I got that book for you! -hands her the book, which is covered in blood-

Jason: -hugs- You're my bestest friend!

Hannibal: I shall be...-gets paranoid-

Pinhead: NO! You called me Hannibal...not the teary eyes...-gives her the Icha Icha and runs-

Sasuke: ...I need ...a ...medic...whats...an...uke?

Spidey: You're not going to join my army? -teary eyes- Next Question!

**Voidangel Sorren**

**Spidey: Ah, a position of power? Shweet. I'll bring the baddest-asses from the Beserk Manga to help us out. I'm sure Gaats and Zodd will be able to help us out. Cthulhu & Linoge: I rest my case Hannibal: Wouldn't it be easier to summon a toad, have it spit oil on it, then use Gokuku no Jutsu on it? Pinhead: Man, that sucks. Good thing I came prepared! holds up nailgun Jack: And the programming section of this site. Therefore, the words you are represented as are owned by the Gay Ku Klux Klan. **

Spidey: We need all the allies we can get!

Cthulhu & Linoge: -continue trying to smite eachother-

Hannibal: I'm not a shinobi.

Pinhead: Oh goody!

Jack: CONSPIRACIES! -hides in closet-

Spidey: -sighs- Great, now he's locked himself into the closet... specifically the closet where we keep the ammo for the yuri gun...

Jack: -is unconcious, due to nosebleed-

Spidey: Next question!

**Shaderoth**

**Spidey:really well then i'l lend you one my vaults of yuri fanart and as for luna hermione and ginny there safe at a base i keep in another dimension **

**Ash:(holds up bfg)would this work **

**Linoge:hmm (tosses him a nine year old legatos from trigun) will he do **

**spidey:well i'm cutting this review short because i'm off to get more sugardemons yuri forever(teleports to sugardemon dimension) **

Spidey: That would be awesome! Sai, you can take a break now!

Sai: yay...now maybe my arm will start working again! -is sitting next to a large pile of yuri-

Ash: -snatches BFG and hugs it- THANK YOU!

Linoge: Yes, he'll do fine! -turns to Legato- Would you like to be able control thousands of people with your mind?

Legato: WOULD I?

Spidey: Good, that should slow them down long enough for us to slowly put Operation MEATSHIELD into action. Next Question!

**Krystalkruegar777**

**Freddy: -Smiles happily, takes fedora hat off his head and wears it- What do think? -goes in a sexy pose, hat was tilted a bit to hide one of her eyes- **

**Wishmaster: Yay! -hugs him tightly- Anyways, why did you make Spidey's hair pink? **

**Frank: What is your favorite type of music? **

**Spidey: Hehe, yep. **

Freddy: That's hot...

Wishmaster: Cause I don't like him.

Frank: Rap!

Spidey: It's true! Next Question!

**Diamondkat12**

**First I want to say that I love your Ask Fic. I want to ask the dude (I can't  
seem to remember the name) in Scream why he calls his victims before killing  
them. Doesn't he know that one of them may have a rocket launcher and blow him  
to bits as soon as he shows himself?**

Sidney: I'm not Ghostface, but as there were three Ghostfaces so far, and I killed them all, I'll answer this: the phone call has a psychological effect of making victims panic and do stupid things! However, I always have a weapon handy incase someone calls me!

Spidey: I'm glad you like my Ask fic, and I look forward to seeing more of your reviews!Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Orochimaru: And you're weird now.  
Spidey: Well, I'd only use Trunks' time machine anyway.  
Deidara: Art is a bang!  
Skrull: -puts on surgical scrubs- I learned surgery from Trauma Center!  
Hinata: I was looking at that! -points at a guy/girl named Desire-  
Spidey: And I stole them from you.  
Sakura: ...Sorry, I've moved on.  
Skullblade: If you'll excuse me, I have a Harry Potter Naruto fic to plan**. 

Orochimaru: And that's news to you?

Spidey: Just don't get absorbed by weird green things when you get back!

Deidara: You bet it is! -blows him up-

Skrull: That means I'm saved, right? RIGHT? -looks at Spidey-

Spidey: -shakes his head and sighs sadly- Sidney, call the undertaker...

Hinata: Who the hell is that?

Spidey: Well...I stole your badly written fanfiction joke!

Sakura: Dang, I guess I'll just give some other guy several hours of pleasure...-drags L into the closet-

Spidey: It better be NaruHina! Well, that wraps up this chapter! Now it's time to update this story! Now if I could just get these idiots to stop fighting...

Linoge: -punches Cthulhu- FACIST!

Cthulhu: -punches Linoge- TERRORIST!

Spidey: -sighs- Please R&R!


	32. An over due update!

Spidey: I'm back...without jokes to start the chapter with! Unfortunatley, the Civil War is STILL dragging on...

Michael: -stabbing Jason multiple times- I took off my mask! Why can't you take off yours?

Jason: -hits him with machete-

Michael: Ha! I'm as hard to kill as you are! -stabs him with spear-

-both continue fighting to the death-

Cthulhu: We seem to be out-numbered...good thing I brought in some more homies of mine!

Dagon: You better pay up on those human sacrifices!

Cthulhu:...do somewhat human enemies of mine count?

Dagon: Yup!

Cthulhu: -in Mr. Burns voice- Excellent...

Dagon: Come my armies of Fish-Frog men, to the battlefield!

Linoge: I've got some new allies of my own!

John Chuter: I suppose your deaths will remain a mystery, even to me... -stabs Dagon with a screw driver-

Dagon: -shrieks in pain- My one weakness...how did you know? -falls over-

Norman: -dressed like his mother- Don't hurt my son's friend's allies! -jumps onto John Chuter, and gets into knife/screw driver fight with him-

Linoge: I've also got other allies...

Carrie: I'm only here because Spidey hired me to end this conflict!

Linoge: True...but you WILL join me...-tries to mind control her-

Carrie: Leave me alone! -throws him acrossed the room- I'm not siding with either of you! -goes and joins Spidey, along with Ash, Sidney, Hannibal, Freddy, and Clarice-

Linoge: Damnit Spidey! I finally meet a female in this sausage-fest war, and she leaves to go to YOUR side!

Cthulhu: -slaps him- You won't live long enough to get laid anyway!

Linoge: I'll outlive you! -gets into huge battle with him-

Pennywise: -attacks Yog Slogoth-

Yog: -attacks Pennywise-

Isaac: -goes to attack Dunwitch-

Dunwitch: Why are you attacking me?

Isaac: Because we're on different sides...but come to think of it, that's actually pretty stupid...wanna go settle this with a game of Doom.

Dunwitch: Sure!

-everyone else continues fighting-

Spidey: -walks into the room, and poors a cup of coffee, as several projectiles barely miss him- Oh my, this is getting out of hand. First Question!

**KrystalKruegar777**

**Spidey: Check this YouTube video out! ((Texas Chainsaw Musical:  
/watch?vstF2dSM4k ))**

Pennywise: -Screams and suddenly whacks him over the head with a giant  
mallet- I have a fear of clowns and dolls too!

Frank: Sweet, anyways, what is your favorite wild animal?

Evil Ash: -pokes him with a running chainsaw- Whoops, my finger slip. -pokes  
him- Whoops, my finger slip. -pokes him again- Whoops, my finger slip.

Pinhead, Ash, & Jack: -Still poking Evil Ash with a running chainsaw- Wanna  
torture Evil Ash with me?

Wishmaster: Why?

Candyman: -looks at a mirror, eerie whisper- Candyman, Candyman, Candyman,  
Candyman, Candyman…

Freddy, Frank, Ash, Evil Ash, Linoge, Hannibal, Jason, Michael, Pinhead,  
Isaac, Dracula, Candyman, and Wishmaster: Let's all sing a musical together!  
-puppy sad eyes- Please.

Freddy: -Still wearing his fedora hat, smiles and teleports in front of him-  
Do you wanna go swimming with me? –suddenly get's shrunk by some unknown  
force, in a cute squeaky voice- Eek! I'm tiny; I don't want to be squish  
like a bug!

Spidey: How long will it take to load?

Pennywise: Ouch! -turns into giant scary looking doll-

Frank: Unicorns...I mean...uh...EVIL MAN-EATING UNICORNS!

Pinhead/Ash/Jack: WOULD I?

Wishmaster: Cause he annoys me!

Candyman: -comes out of mirror, wrapping hook around her neck- You rang?

Wishmaster: Only if you wish for it...

Candyman: NO! I don't sing...and I'm about to kill you anyway! -closes in on her-

Dracula: I haven't sung anything since Monster Mash!

Isaac: He-Who-Walks-With-The-Rose despises musicals! -calls someone on Cell Phone- You're next sacrifice is ready! -sends He-Who-Walks-With-The-Rose after her- Do you by chance live near a corn field?

Pinhead: Cebonites don't sing... we have other means to express ourselves, like abstract art...how would you like to be made into abstract art? -holds up chains-

Michael: I don't know...can Rainbowflower join in too? He has a beautiful voice...

Jason: Must...resist...puppydog...eyes...

Hannibal: I'm too old to sing.

Evil Ash: I was already in one musical, don't make me relive the horror!

Ash: Sorry, I... Um...have to...um...work? Yeah...the housewares Isle doesn't run itself!

Frank: But you hate me!

Freddy: -is the official speaker for all of them- WE'D LOVE TOO!

Everyone else: -sweat drops-

Freddy: -grins pervertedly- Would that mean I'd get to act on those priviledges? -sees her turn small- NO! NOW WE SHALL FOREVER BE CHALLENGED BY HEIGHT DIFFERENCE! -cries-

Spidey: I must rectify this situation! -uses author powers...to make Freddy the same size as Krystal- I'm such a good person! Next Question!

**diamondkat12**

**Why does Krystal like Freddy? He's burnt and ugly. He doesn't deserve her, he  
deserves someone ugly and burnt. Why are there no female horror icons. Bring  
in Debbie Strong from Devil in the Flesh.**

Freddy: I have no idea why she likes me.

Spidey: There aren't that many female horror icons to begin with, but that's why I brought in Sidney, along with the new girl, Carrie! Unfortunately, I've never heard of Devil In the Flesh...but if I read it, I'll probably introduce characters from it! Next Question!

**izuko-chan**

**(sorry, it won't let me log-in)**

Freddy: AH! glomps him Thank you, Freddy-kun! I luff you!

Jason: You're my bestest friend too, Jason-kun. :B 

Spidey: I hate it when that happens.

Freddy: -glomps back- You're a good friend! But not a penpal with priviledges, I already have one of those!

Jason: Yay! -glomps-

Spidey: Wait...Freddy and Jason are both in a group hug, but don't realize it yet...I wonder what would happen if I teleported Izuko out of the hug? -is thinking- Next Question... 

**Skullblade**

**Orochimaru: No. No it's not.  
Spidey: Damn Cell...  
Deidara: Ouch.  
Skrull: There's been a last minute replacement! The Greatest doctor in the  
world, Black Jack, will now be your doctor!  
Hinata: I'm not sure, but it freaks me out.  
Spidey: And I stole your "Off into the sunset" joke!  
Sakura: Whatver... I'm going to ask Orihime, maybe Death.  
Skullblade: Would I have it any other way?**

Orochimaru: Kukuku.

Spidey: Yeah...I have an idea! -throws Orochimaru at Cell-

Skrull: I see a bright light, at the end of a long dark...-get hit by train-

Hinata: Lets throw things at it! -pulls out bazooka...and throws it at Desire-

Spidey: I stole you 'I stole you joke' joke!

Sakura: Well, you never recognized my assets anyway! Ooh, a quarter! -bends over to pick it up-

Spidey: -puts down rocket launcher- Of course you wouldn't! Next Question!

**Guesswho**

**WHY is this in Evil Dead instead of Crossovers? LOL**

Spidey: Why do you ask so many questions? -scary look in eyes- And this is already in two different sections, under two different titles. If one of said titles is deleted by the administration, lets say it's "Ask Ash" since that's the one you've been reviewing, then i can always e-mail some of my reviewers and tell them that, sadly, there would be no more Ask Ash...then in, I'd write a story called "Ask Ash Returns" in X-overs, tell the people that reviewed the version that was deleted about the 'new' story, after starting with a short bridge for people just discovering it, but continue to update the other version, "Ask The Horror Icons", which would be continued as if the other story was never deleted! Then, some people in the X-overs section who discovered it would review, and I'd have MORE reviews than before! Then, eventually, when that story slowly becomes less hilarious, I'll make one final insane grab for reviews, by renaming the story that WASN'T deleted "Ask Collector's Edition", then 'ending' the version in X-overs with a final chapter, telling them about Ask Collectors Edition, telling them that it has 'All the chapters from the original story compiled into one! Bow before the power that is marketing skills! -laughs insanely-

Freddy: Spidey, you're more evil than New Coke and Quesada combined! -wipes tear from eye- I'm so proud!

Spidey: If you don't believe the first explanation, or don't want to read the wall of text, then I'll give you a different one: This story was originally going to be an Ask Ash fic with just Ash, but then i threw in a bunch of other horror movie characters to add variety, and called it Ask The Horror Icons, and put it in Misc. Movies. Since not that many people go to the Misc. Movies section, and the people that I'd come to depend on to review it started disappearing, so in desperation, I sent it to the Evil Dead section, under the title "Ask Ash" as would work. By the time I considered putting this in X-overs, it was too late to start another version, since most of the chapters were up, and more people seem to like the sections that it's in.

Sidney: -claps- I don't think he'll review again...

Spidey: You count that as a review? I count it as a sign, that I may start getting flamers soon. Sorry Guesswho, but your reviews won't appear again unless you actually do what the title says and ASK THE HORROR ICONS something... or in your case, ASK ASH something. Please stop questioning my judgement of where to put the damned story! Not saying this review is a flamer though...

Ash: Wait, since when do you even get flamers?

Spidey: I never have, but I shall soon... until I make an example of the third flamer I get, find the author, humiliate them on my ask fic,

Spidey: Seems like answering the questions got everybody to stop fighting...except those two! -points to Linoge and Cthulhu-

Linoge: -panting tiredly- Facist...-slaps-

Cthulhu: -also panting tiredly- Terrorist... -slaps-

Linoge: Facist...screw it, this is stupid, I give up. -falls over-

Cthulhu: Yay, I win! -falls over as well-

Spidey: WRONG! I win!

Cthulhu: Say what now?

Spidey: -blows up his head with a rocket launcher- That's for starting a STUPID war, for STUPID reasons, DUMB55! Now if you'll excuse me, I have frickin' Fangirls to fight! -walks away angrily- Wait a second...I forgot all ABOUT the fangirls! To the Yuri Cannons! -runs towards weapons and fires blindly-

Sidney: Er...Spidey? Most of the fangirls died when you ejected the Sugar Demon into space, after building an army to distract them from that giant, Sugar Demon cannon you were building...

Spidey: Oh yeah! Wait, did I tell the Spidey Corps about this?

Hannibal: They will probably be upset that they were formed simply as a distraction...

Spidey: Well...they can still help me kill the last fangirl! She's currently in Skullblade's closet though... funny thing is, I found one of the closets in MY fics has this weird space time vortex that goes to the closet in Ask the Ninjas; in fact, they're the SAME CLOSET!

Hannibal: -gaps from shock- I'd been wondering about why the closet had a back door and why various anime characters where interrupting me and Clarice! Dang it, with Naruto being a character in Skullblade's fic, I'm pretty sure I know who's been sneaking in and stealing my ramen as well... not that I mind, since he'll probably regret eating that ramen, as I've... changed the recipe, since I figured there are some... other things that I've found are better with ramen to wash it down...

Spidey: Wait, don't you always eat a bowl of ramen before you and Clarice go into the closet and...Hannibal you sick, sick man.

Ash: Wait, he put human flesh in his ramen?

Spidey: No...well, he probably did, but thats not what I was refering to...

Ash: Then what WERE you refering...

Clarice: -eats bowl of ramen, then suddenly drops it, and charges at Hannibal- I WANT YOUR BABIES NOW! -picks up Hannibal and carries him away-

Ash: Oh...-oneliner no jutsu- Hinata is going to be REAL happy when Naruto gets back from his next ramen raid...

Spidey: Ok, so far the space time vortex in the closet has caused nothing but pain and disturbing mental images...

Sidney: Oh well, at least you didn't put the YFA Leader in that closet...right?

Spidey: -laughs- Of course not! I put her in Skullblade's...ah oh.

-hears knocking at closet door-

Derranged Crazy Evil Fangirl: SPIDEY! LET ME OUT OF THIS CLOSET! I SWEAR I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!

Spidey: Hmm, theres a derranged crazy evil fangirl in my closet, who knew?

Ash: -was headed towards the closet with explosives- What? So we can't make explosive entrances into Skull's fic through the closet, when we JUST discovered it was possible? -looks extremely disappointed-

Spidey: Meh, there'll always be other space time vortexes...and she'll eventually starve to death! Now Ash, it's your turn to make the threat!

Ash: Review, or we'll throw you in the closet with the fangirl... cause, you know, she's trapped between two Ask fics, with no way out, so she'll probably be getting hungry...

Spidey: Oh, and Ditechnokira, I shall post your Review in the next chapter!


	33. An even more over due update!

Spidey: I'm back, with no fangirl problem! -turns to people dressed like the Ghostbusters who are holding a tank with the fangirl trapped in it- Thanks guys!

Fangirl Busters: Are you going to pay us now?

Spidey: Of course I...look, a crazy fangirl! -steals the money out of their wallets while they're not looking- Here you go, 10000.00, just like we agreed!

Fangirl Busters: Who ya gonna call?! -jump into van and drive away-

Spidey: Fangirl Busters! Next Question!

_**Izuko-chan**_

_**same reason as before. it refuses to log me in...**_

Freddy: gapes I'm...a good friend to you, Freddy? I'm...so touched!  
sparkly eyes

Jason: Yay, indeed. :D?

Spidey: Holy ! This is true. I'm between two horror icons. What more could  
a girl ask for? Well, if Sweeney Todd were here, I'd probably just die of a  
nosebleed. Is he a horror icon now? :D?

Other people are doing it, so I'm going to be lame and follow the crowd:

Itachi: I'm bearing your child! I'm naming it Sasuke! Just wanted to let you  
know.

Freddy: -continues hugging-

Jason: Indeed. -also continues hugging-

Spidey: I haven't seen Sweeney Todd...but that doesn't keep me from throwing him at you! -throws Sweeney Todd into the hug-

Itachi: -shakes his head- Great, I must have been sleep walking while I was dreaming about Konan again... and I think that's a wonderful name for the child! Too bad I'm dead, or I'd pay for child care.

Spidey: I hope that didn't have too many spoilers. Next Question!

_**Voidangel Sorren**_

_**  
Hannibal: Not my fault you can't break the third wall...**_

Jack: Ha! Lightweight. stares at yuri ammo without even blushing

Spidey: Oh, good...is there a reason it's called M.E.A.T.S.H.E.I.L.D?...other than the usual reasons?

Cthulhu: Billy and Mandy kicked your Cartoon Network style.

Linoge: You. Are. Not. Worthy. Of. My. Insults.

Deidara: Art...kinda like this? holds up clay bomb shaped like a naked Hinata...slightly exaggerated hm?

Hannibal: -breaks third wall-

Jack: -stares at Yuri confusedly- What's that tingly feeling? -only recently hit puberty-

Spidey: Because the whole army was just a distraction so the fangirls wouldn't notice the huge gun I built to fire the Sugar Demon at them.

Cthulhu:...how much money will you require if I were to bribe you not to tell anyone about that... hypothetically speaking.

Deidara: -stares at Hinata, then the sculpture, then shakes his head- No, her boobs are bigger than that. I've seen them on Spidey's ca...-gets knocked unconcious from behind-

Spidey: -holding frying pan- Camera? What camera? I took those down MONTHS ago! He must have been refering to a different Spidey! -shifty eyes- Next Question!

_**Dtecnokira**_

_**To Freddy, since you are the dream expert, do you believe that dreams have special symbolic meanings?  
Ash: I haven't seen your movies yet, are there any channels they commonly play on? Also, how do you feel about sharing your name with Ash Ketchum of Pokemon? If you could have a Pokemon, which would you want.  
You know what, I'm asking everyone the Pokemon question!  
Who would win in an all out Pokemon tournament between horror icons ?  
OMG I sense a crack fic!**_

Freddy: Dreams are where horny teenagers go to die...

Ash: Well, "Army of Darkness" used to play alot on Scifi, but not anymore. I share a name with a pokemon character? -looks enraged- I want Mewtwo, so I could pwn everyone.

Freddy: I want Meoth... they fight like I do.

Michael: No pokemon could replace Rainbowflower! -hugs stuffed unicorn-

Hannibal: I don't know...I hear Farfetched taste good with the right sauces... but a Snorlax would last longer.

Norman: Wait, someone is asking me a question! -hugs Dtecno- I wuv you! -suddenly changes personalities- I want a Charizard... everyone that comes between me and my little Norman must burn! -laughs insanely-

Yog: Don't tell anyone this but...-looks around- I want a Clefairy beacuse... -looks around again- THEY'RE ADORABLE! -hugs a Clefairy plushie-

All of his worshipers: -come out of nowhere and laugh at him-

Cthulhu: I want a Blastoise.

Jason: I want a pikachu, so I can throw it at those damned teenagers that keep coming onto my property and partying like college kids...

Spidey: Ash, no contest.

Ash: Why me?

Spidey: Cause you're name is Ash... JUST KIDDING IT WAS BECAUSE YOU PICKED THE STRONGEST POKEMON!

Ash: -holding chainsaw an inch away from Spidey's face- Your answer satisfies me.

Spidey: -gulps- Next question...

_**Shaderoth**_

_**spidey:(teleports in)spidey uhm the sugardemons all tried to revolt against  
me so i locked them all in your closet whatever you do don't open that they  
haven't had sugar in a while so they are very vicious now questions  
issac:hey do you know what i can do with several dead sound ninja bodies  
ash:hey i cna regrow limbs isn't that awsome  
Cthulhu:hi squid face  
spidey:now im off to finish building my orbital sugar demon space  
cannon(teleports off to finish building it)**_

Spidey:...you didn't throw them in the same closet as that space time vortex, did you?

Issaac: Dead bodies you say? -is suddenly interested-

Ash: -is jealous- All I can do is make metal ones to replace them...

Cthulhu:...that's what your mom said.

Spidey: Don't forget to lubricate the sugar demons before they fire, or they'll randomly explode in the cannon! I found out the hard way when I built the ground based SD cannon. Next Question!

_**GuessWho**_

_**You should have Hannibal kill someone. Or Linoge. And You really should read  
JtHM so you can have Nny some more.**_

Spidey: Maybe I can improvise both! -turns to Hannibal and Linoge- Hannibal, Linoge stole you're brains...

Hannibal: My brains! -tackles Linoge and starts trying to cut him to pieces-

Spidey: And I MIGHT read JtHM... if I find it entertaining. Next Question!

_**Senna The Soul Reaper**_

_**Um...Hello. I'm new to this fic, so please be nice! **_

_**Freddy, Why don't you get  
plastic surgery for your horrible, horrible burns? **_

_**Jason: Why can't you just  
get along with the skinnydipping teenagers? **_

_**Ash, YOU ARE MY IDOL! Mr.Spidey,  
this fic is hilarious! Keep up the good work!  
**_

Freddy: I tried, but when I walked into the office, the plastic surgeon screamed like a girl and jumped out the window.

Jason: Cause that lake is my only water supply and they tend to do things in it that make me not want to drink out of it.

Ash: Hail to the king, baby.

Spidey: Why thank you! Sai, send the lady some perverted Ash fan art! Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Orochimaru: You are Naruto's Frieza. Zabuza was Vegeta. Pein is Cell. Tobi is  
Buu.  
Skrull: ...Too late.  
Hinata: I would, but it's a paradimensional being that controls desire...  
which is not a good thing to off.  
Spidey: -opens Dating Sim Item Menu, clicks on a knife- Why there was a knife  
in a dating sim, I have no idea. -swings it-  
Sakura: Yes, but Orihime is too nice to say no.  
Skullblade: -walks in holding a cup of ramen- Hi Spidey! I'm...back... -looks  
at guy who looks like me-  
Skullblade: Goddamit! He discovered me! -throws self into closet-  
Skullblade: ...I'll find him later...-quickly reads last few reviews-  
...Every question can stay. They fit me.**

Orochimaru: I'm not a girl...

Frieza: I'm a man you idiot...

Orochimaru:...really?

Spidey: -throws Frieza out of fic-

Skrull: I see a bright light, at the end of a long dark tunnel...-gets hit by a train-

Spidey: -dodges knife, which hits Sasuke-

Sakura: You're only dating her to make me jealous...and it's working. -glomps him-

Spidey: Why are you looking for Skull 2? F-Skullblade made a clone of you...you shouldn't let him into your fic, they're a pain in the rear to clean up when they explode... I'm gonna try a new chapter ending now.

Norman: Everyone...

Sidney: Please...

Carrie: Review...

Hannibal: Or I'll eat a kitty! **  
**


	34. The over dueest update of all!

Spidey: I'm back, with confusion! EXTREME confusion! I think I forgot to post the chapter before this one! I really need to quit procrastinating on these things... First question!

_**Diamondkat12**_

_**I was supposed to have reviewed a long time ago but exam and a sudden Naruto  
addiction (Naruto fanfic included) has prevented me. By the way, Spidey, in  
some round about way you are to blame for my new addiction. For this reason,  
I'm sending an army of horny Spidey fangirls to harass you.  
Carrie: How are you doing? Kill anyone since you wiped out everyone at your  
prom and killed your mom? Love your powers by the way. I would love to have  
TK.  
Wishmaster: I know someone can't wish you dead but can't you be wished out of  
existence or at least back into the stone. You can't even grant the simplest  
wish properly and don't tell me you're being evil. Your level of intelligence  
is just too low for you to properly grant a wish without screwing it up. Admit  
it.  
**_

Spidey: Oh no, an army of horny girls want to make love to me... bring it on!!

Carrie: Well, I think I killed this one guy that wouldn't stop flirting with me in this bar, but he may have survived. And no you don't...most people with TK tend to go mad with power! Just look what it did to Marvel Girl!

Wishmaster: I don't think they thought of wishing me back into the stone. And you could see it as I'm smart enough to guess the exact opposite of what they want, then use the wording of their wish to grant it to them...it's harder than it sounds. Being evil is very difficult...

Spidey: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unvirgin...I mean...Um...run away from an army of fangirls! Next Question!

_**Lord Maul160**_

_**Nice fic, dude. Keep writing! I got some questions of my own!**_

Freddy: What's with the christmas sweater? Aren't you supposed to be scary?  
Also, why do you kill? It's not normal! Oh and if you send me any images of  
you naked-shudder-, I will send my OC Red eye after you! MUHAHAHAHA!

Jason: Why is it that when you fought Freddy, and he stabbed your eyes out,  
you got your eyes back? Is that like an error during filming, or what? And I'm  
a big fan of your work. Especially in Freddy vs. Jason. You took more hits  
then you gave, but every hit you delivered sent Freddy flying! Good luck in  
the remake!

Hannibal: If you and Freddy as a team fought Pinhead and Jigsaw, do you think  
you would win?

Michael Myers: in the new halloween movie your mask was buried. Why did you  
do that to your mask? Do you know how much damage dirt, worms, and bugs can do  
to a captain kirk mask?

Sydney: Here are some clothes for you! hands you some clothes.

Freddy: I LIKE the Christmas sweater! -gives death glare- And if you're me, killing is very normal...

Jason: Meh, I had spares. -pulls out bucket full of spare eyes, fingers, and other body parts- Us zombies can lose limbs or other major organs at any time, so it's always good to be prepared!

Hannibal: Yeah, we'd kill those losers and be best buds...right up till I backstabbed him...why are my Running gag senses tingling? -falls through a trap door- Not again...

Freddy: -gets dragged into closet by chains- Damn it Hannibal, this is your fault...

Michael Myers: I like burrying things...and I didn't want anyone to find it.

Sydney: Yay, finally someone here that isn't a pervert! -reaches for clothes-

-clothes burst into flames-

Spidey: What kind of horrible person would burn Sydney's clothes so that she'd be forced to continue walking around naked! -hiding flamethrower behind back- Next Question!_**  
**_

_**Izuko-chan**_

_**Freddy: I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HUG YOU! But your skin feels weird. May I  
suggest Bath and Body Works? I use Sweet Fig and Brown Sugar! How does it  
smell?**_

Jason: You always annoyed me Jason, but now I love you! You're such a teddy  
bear!  


Freddy: I love that place! -looks around suspiciously, but noone seemed to have heard him- But don't tell the other undead serial killers, or I'd never hear the end of it!

Jason: -hugs- Yeah, I get that reaction alot ever since I stopped killing people...

Spidey: Wait... that just gave me an idea for a crack fic! -hugs Izuko- Expect to see the "Killers No more: The Support Group" soon. Next Question!

_**Fox-Of-The-Twilight**_

Star: Hi Jacky! hugs-

Questions...

Whho here likes Pie?! -holds up apple pie-  


Jack: STAR! -hugs- An anonymous source told me you got hit by a train... -glares at Spidey-

Spidey: -whistles innocently-

Jason: -sees pie in Tori's hands- RELIGION! I'VE FOUND YOU! -starts bowing to Tori- Oh great one, please bestow pie upon my unworthy soul!

Freddy: -kicks Jason away- If you give me the pie, I won't go into your dreams and make you relive the 'naked in the middle of class' dream over and over again!

Jason: BLASPHEMY! -throws glass of holy water at Freddy-

Freddy: The glass! It burns! -hits Jason with a chair-

-both of them start fighting over pie-

Spidey:... so, Tori, would it be alright if Star made a cameo in "Legend Of The Icy Hot Ninja? Jack's gonna be lonely when Amanda and Ryu start dating... Next Question!

_**Diamondkat12**_

_**Spidey: My attack was defeated. Oh well, no harm done. I'm a happy addict.  
Freddie: You are the master of nightmares, right? I need you to answer one  
question. Look into my eyes, this is important. (activates mangekyou sharingan  
when he does and puts him in tsukiyomi). For the next 72 hours you will be  
stabbed repeatedly by none other than the teletubbies (they are far more scary  
than Barney)  
Sasuke: Hachibi said to give you these seven tickets to his concert. He got a  
recording deal for a rap song he wrote that was inspired by Team Taka. Feel  
free to bring your former teammates.**_

Spidey: Ok...but feel free to send the fangirls anyway.

Freddy: -on the ground, in a fetal position-

Sasuke: -fangirl squeel-

Spidey: Now I just need two more reviews! Next Question!

_**Skullblade**_

_**Orochimaru: You're one to talk, Mr. I-Had-A-Woman's-Body.  
Skrull: We have the technology! We can rebuild him!  
Spidey: Ha! -summons Ed- ...Wait... I just summoned Ed to a Horror Icons  
fic... crap.  
Sakura: No, I'm dating her because she's hot and gullible. (I sound like such  
a nice guy, huh?)  
Hannibal: Can you eat a kitty anyway?  
Skullblade: Where the heck did F-Skullblade get my DNA? ...Do not answer  
that.  
**_

Orochimaru:...And I should be bothered by this?

Skrull: -still dead-

Spidey:...but should we? And don't worry, I'll give him something to do! -points to Orochimaru- Ed, he called you short!

Sakura: -grins, and pulls out tape recorder- Oh, Ok, I'll be sure to tell her that...unless of course you update Ask the Ninjas of course...god, I can't believe I had to pretend to still have FEELINGS for you to get that tape...

Hannibal: -looks shocked- I would never eat a kitty! -wipes away suspicious cat fur from mouth-

Spidey: -was going to say: "from himself maybe?"-...next question!

**Senna the Soul Reaper**

**Freddy: Maybe if you took off the glove first...  
Jason: Why don't you just, you know, move? A guy like you could buy a house  
easy. Just use the book in your basement.  
Ash: Not that kind of idol.  
Spidey: Um, I kinda like the other team...  
Hannibal: We share the same tastes!  
**

Freddy:...-headbangs desk for not considering that earlier-

Jason:...the one that makes the teenagers become harder to kill and yell "I will swallow your soul"?

Ash: I know, but you should still hail to the king...who happens to be me.

Spidey: Huh? -confused-

Hannibal:...wanna have a tea party?

Spidey: Well, that concludes the chapter! Now give me reviews, or you'll have an even LONGER wait for the next chapter! -starts laughing maniacally-

Everyone: REVIEW!!


	35. Dunanana, snap snap

Spidey: I'm ba-ack! I'm glad this story has already gotten a review! Of course, by the time I post this chapter it will have gotten at least five reviews, but still, it's good to know! By the way, I think you all should know that...I FINALLY GOT MY BRACES OFF TODAY!

Ash: Now you just have to wear a retainer, possibly for the rest of your life!

Spidey:...yay. First Question!

**Senna The Soul Reaper **

**Freddy: ...People do tend to scream in terror at sharp things.  
Jason: That book! Just say Klaatu verata nikto!  
Ash: Hails.  
Spidey: It's why me and Skull are only friends.  
Hannibal: Sure! I'll bring the meatloaf!  
**

Freddy: So THATS why that one guy was screaming when I ripped out his guts through his (Vulgar term for donkey or buttox).

Jason: I shall...as soon as I figure out how to escape from Spidey's secret base...

Ash: Thank you, thank you! -gives Evil Dead DVDs- I reward my subjects!

Spidey: That just raises MORE questions! -looks at her intently-

Hannibal: I'LL BRING THE LIVER! Oh, and the tea, we need that too...

Spidey: ...can I come? Next Question!

**Skullblade**

**Orochimaru: Depends. Did you use the body to lure unsuspecting men to your  
bed?  
Skrull: ...Eh, I don't have the time or money.  
Spidey: Wrong Ed. This is the 'Imma gonna kill ya, zombee!' Ed.  
Ed's Comments: Is that Jason and Freddy? -pulls out knives-  
Sakura: Great, just when my computer deletes all my documents... Would a  
small increment suffice? Ed's comments: Skull, I see why you said she was ugly  
and demonic. -Skullblade doing 'No!' arm motions-  
Spidey: Then why is the clone a neurotic moron who's extremely perverted...  
don't answer that either.  
**

Orochimaru:..maybe...

Skrull: Help...

Spidey: -light's skrull on fire- Oh, well, that shouldn't be a problem; Jason will probably think he's trying to be friends...

Jason: Hey, he's showing me his knives! So I'll show him my machete! -pulls out machete, then walks forward-

Freddy: -watching, with popcorn- This situation just might resolve itself...

Sakura: Let me have crazy monkey smex with Sai in one of your fics and maybe I'll settle for a small increment... oh, and maybe throw Ed in so we can have a threesome and I won't even bother with the small increment...

Spidey: -had his mouth open to say something- Er...next question!

**lord maul160 **

**I got some more questions!**

Freddy and Hannibal: ... Are you two okay?

Jason: I totally understand why you kill. Damn bullies! Why is it that when  
you were a kid, you had a sort of bumpy head(Not that I'm judging) and now  
that you're an adult, it's not bumpy anymore?

Michael Myers: Why do you use a kitchen knife? Why not a... I don't know...  
FLAMETHROWER?! Seriously, Spidey's got the right idea!

Sydney: Here! These are nonflammable! throws more clothes at sydney

ghostface: So which person are you right now? I mean you're more of a guise,  
than a character.

Orochimaru: Why the hell did you have a woman's body?

Freddy: When you get back, tell me why you appeared in my dreams, but I still  
pwned you with my red lightsaber? And why the heck did you have a hammershark  
head? It's more the great whites that truamatize me! Oh . DON'T GET ANY  
IDEAS!

Jason: Sorry to ask again, but do you think you would beat an army of classic  
zombies? I think you'd win because you move faster than them, and you have a  
machete. Those zombies probably don't even know how to USE a machete!

Norman: GO BACK TO TEH MENTAL HOSPITAL! chucks norman in a high security  
mental hospital

Spidey: roundhouse kicks spidey for being a perv XD  


Freddy: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAALP!

Hannibal:...-in trap door, having tea with Jigsaw- So then I ate his liver with some baked beans...oh, hey lord maul! Me and Jigsaw are best friends now!

Jason: I got hit on the head alot as a child...

Michael Myers: They're easily acquired...I kill with whatever I can get my hands on really...one time I beat a guy to death with Rainbow Flower...

Sydney: -goes to crap clothes, when they're randomly stolen by Orochimaru- THE HELL?!

Ghostface: Well, I'm...-is suddenly electrified and falls over-

Sydney: -holding taser- Now to find out who you really are...

Ghostface: -by pure accident falls through the same trapdoor that leads to Jigsaw's trap-

Sydney:...damn it.

Orochimaru: -wearing stolen clothes- I look good because I FEEL good...-clothes rip to shreds-

Sydney: -cries silently-

Freddy: I wasn't in your dreams last night; that was my apprentice...I'm training him so I can retire.

Jason: And if they were horny teenage zombies, I'd probably decimate them...

Norman: -in straight jacket, smiling- Someone remembered I was here! -is happy-

Spidey: -is sent flying SSB style- I'll be back...with pervertedness! -ding sound-

Sydney: -sees phone ringing, and answers it- Hello?

Spidey: -from China- Next Question!

_**Fox-Of-The-Twilight **_

_**Me: Freddy, cause your my favorite horror icon, you get the pie! -gives pie-**_

Okay questions

Freddy - where can I get a hat and claw like yours? i want to be able to  
spite my enemies!

Jason - Can I see your face?

And yes Spidey, Star can cameo, heck! I give you permission to use her for  
the rest of your story if you want! 

Freddy: Yay! -eats pie in front of Jason- Mmm, this is the BEST PIE EVER! If only Jason wasn't such a LOSER he would be able to tast this...

Jason: -cries emo-ishly-

Freddy: Of course you can! -opens door revealing shelves of hats and claws- I have a whole CLAWS-ET full of them! -laughs at stupid joke- Anyway, would you like to be my new apprentice? My old one kinda...died.

Jason: You can't see my face? -has been wearing the mask so long, it's practically fused with his face-

Spidey: YAY! Wait...can I have another description of her so my fans can tell what she looks like? Next question!

_**Erin Nightshade**_

_**This is an Ask Fic right? Okay, here goes. I hope I did this right.**_

Erin Nightshade  
Freddy: I love you and would do it with you because I think you're super sexy. 

_**Michael: I love you too. Can I hug you? **_

_**Spidey: Why are there a lot of Naurto characters? There should be more Horror Icons.**_

Freddy: I like your enthusiasm, but I have a girlfriend/penpal with priviledges.

Michael: Of course! -opens arms and waits for hug-

Spidey: I let them stay here when "Ask the Ninjas" was deleted... and then left when Skull reposted it, but due to a space time vortex in the closet that leads to the closet in Ask the Ninjas...and people that won't stop asking them things... they constantly return like freeloaders...but I have added more Horror Icons throughout the story! Make a request, and if I know where they're from, I'll put them in! Next Question!

_**i'm just a girl playing guitar**_

_**freddy: wow, really? i promise i won't tell anyone...hehehe. what smell do you use? now that you mention it, you do smell quite nice.**_

jason: aww, yeah! you're so nice. ily, jason.

spidey: hugs back yay! i'll look out for it.

Freddy: I use...pretty much anything that's strong enough to hide the burnt smell...

Jason: -hugs- Thank you!

Spidey: Thanks! I shall write it soon! Well, that wraps up the chapter! Next chapter, we'll introduce several new characters! Introducing...the Addams family!

-the Adams Family appears out of nowhere-

Gomez: -looks around the room- Is this a family reunion? -sees Norman- Hey! I remember you! We stayed at your hotel! remember? -runs after him-

Norman: -runs- Save me from the crazy guy mommy!

Morticia: He was such a nice man...he watched me in the shower of course, but that's OK, I understand he's a male after all...

Pugsly: -walks towards spidey's T.V. with dynamite-

Spidey: Do it and you'll be strapped to a chair and forced to watch teletubbies...

Pugsly: -backs away from Spidey and cowars in fear-

Wednsday: -sees Pinhead- I've heard of you...I admire your torturing techniques...-looks at him like she has a crush-

Pinhead: Oh no...it's the stalker! -runs away-

Spidey: Well, that's the end of the chapter!

Everyone: REVIEW!


	36. Dr Diabolo's Halloween Chapter

-A man in a white suit with a wite fedora walks on to the screen-

man: Hello, The name is Dr. Diabolo, and this is Ask The Horror Icons, Halloween special! Do you dare see what Dr. Diabolo sees?

Hinata: -walks into the area, which is revealed to be a sort of circus tent- Um....hello.

Dr. Diabolo: Hello young lady; do you dare see what Dr. Diabolo sees?

Hinata: Meh, sure; I've got time to kill before the chapter starts...

Dr. Diabolo: Ok then! -leads her to a statue of a woman holding a pare of shears over a string- Look at them, Look into the shears of fate...

Hinata: Um, ok... -looks at the shears-

-suddenly, the setting changes to the normal set for Ask the Horror Icons; Spidey's secret base-

Spidey: I'm back with...HALLOWEEN CHAPTER! I didn't do one last year, and i felt bad about it. -is dressed like a random zombie-

Hinata: Hey Spidey, I found this letter...-shows him a letter-

_Dear Everyone reading this fic and Everyone in this fic:_

_Do not be alarmed...you will all die. _

_Love: the Killer!_

Spidey: -reads letter, and laughed- What a funny halloween prank! First question!

_**Fox-of-the-Twilight**_

_**Me: Ill post star's profile in your frum, i already posted Midori's so just  
wait ^^**_

Freddy: YAY! but yes, that's a very stupid joke...-puts on claw and hat and  
laughs evily.-

Jason: It fused to your face! -takes out rusty chainsaw and tries mutilating  
mask off-  


Spidey: YAYS! -goes to read profile-

Freddy: I thought it was a good joke...-sniffs- Oh well, on to your training! -points to Jason- Go kill that guy, and you will have surpassed me!

Jason: -giggles- That tickles my brains! Wait? What fused to my face?

Spidey:...I don't think he realizes he's wearing a mask.

-lights go off and on, and suddenly Tori is missing-

Spidey: Ha ha, Tori! Very funny prank! Tori...you can come out now? Tori? TORI! Next question!

**Erin Nightshade  
Blows Freddy a kiss and then hugs Michael.  
Okay, questions.  
Michael:Can I date you? I'm all alone!  
Freddy: Can I be your apprentice? And did you know you are the only guy to  
pull off the hat and sweater look? I think you look sexy.  
Spidey: I think you should have god like powers to do whatever you want.  
Norman: Who's watching the motel while you're here?  
Hannibal: Have you thought about writing a cook book?  
Freddy:I baked you some brownies that spell your name. (Gives Freddy the  
brownies).  
Michael: I brought you a pizza (gives Michael Pizza).  
Pinhead: What would happen if someone took all of those pins out of your  
head?  
**

Freddy: -waves ackwardly-

Michael: Yay, hugs! And sure! But don't tell Rainbow Flower, she gets jealous...

Freddy: Sure! I need a back up in case something happens to Tori....-sees shotgun aimed at him- Not that anything will happen to her!

Spidey: -puts away shotgun- I do...inside this fic. If I had them outside, the world would be in danger...

Norman: Oh, some nice boy that goes by the name of Nny....

Hannibal: I do! -holds up copy- You can buy it at your local bookstore!

Freddy: Yay! Brownies! -eats brownies-

Michael: -eats pizza- I wuv you!

Pinhead: -backs away- I don't know....and I don't want to find out...

-lights go offf and on, and Erin is missing-

Spidey: Erin was in on this too? Next Question!

_**lord maul160**_

_**Freddy: My friend says you're an overcooked pizza. What do you say to that?  
Also, why do you kill children? Why not try and go for a challenge, like  
Michael, Leatherface, or even my favorite killer Jason?**_

Jason: YOU RULE! btw, since you can't drink from the sperm infested lake,  
here's a glass of water with a straw! hands jason glass of water with straw.  
Try and feed the straw through one of the holes in your mask of pwnage.

Ghostface: takes out cell phone They say you're the weakest slasher ever. I'm  
a nerd and I could easily phone you to death! IRONY!! phones ghostface to  
death.

Sydney: locks up all the perverts in the world, then gives sydney some  
clothes True beauty comes from the heart. Crap CURSE YOU DYSNEY!  


Freddy: -sharpens claws- Who is this friend of yours again? Oh, and where do they live, and when do they sleep?

Jason: WATER! -drinks- Oh, and I boil my water before I drink it, but thanks!

Ghostface: -cries emo-ishly-

Sidney: Finally, clothes! -puts on clothes, then waits-....hmm, nothing happened, that's unusual...

Spidey: -locked up- LET ME OUT SO I CAN CONTINUE WRITING!

-lights go off and on, and LordMaul is missing-

Spidey: this is one hell of an elaborate prank...NEXT QUESTION!

_**krystalkruegar777**_

_**Evil Ash, Dracula, Linoge, Isaac, Cthulhu, Pennywise, Candyman, and Frank:  
-Roughly pokes them one at a time with a sharp icicle and immediately runs  
from them at top speed, while giggling softly-**_

Wishmaster: -stood in silence for a moment, without warning, she hugs him and  
immediately leaps behind a blue couch in fear-

Pinhead and Freddy: -immediately goes inside the closet, and stood  
protectively in front of Freddy- Don't you dare harm him…

Evil Ash:...Is something poking me right now?

Dracula: -icicle accidentally stabs his heart- My sons will avenge me....

D & Alucard: -point at him and laugh-

Linoge: -raises eyebrow at her- Do you WANT me to tell them your deepest darkest secrets? I can read minds you know.

Pennywise: You're mean...-cries-

Candyman:....damn it, now I'm in this fic. -jumps through closet into Skullblade's fic...

Frank: -organs fall out after being poked- Damn it Krystal...-goes to find new ones-

Norman: -sees he's being left out of the poking, and looks downcast-

Wishmaster: -blinks- Did I get hugged just now?

Pinhead: He's been talking smack about my mother!

Freddy: Hey, I'm just saying, she gets around!

Pinhead: -walks forward with chains-

Freddy: -hides behind Krystal- PROTECT ME!

Spidey:...to be honest, I'm rooting for Pinhead.

-lights go off and on, and Krystal is missing-

Freddy: KRYSTAL! -cries tears of emoness- What kind of horrible person would kill you?

Pinhead: -chases-

Spidey: There is no killer...it's a prank. -still in denial- Next Question!

_**8yume**_

_**hihi! all of these questions are for my favorite killer. michael! *hugs***_

1. why didnt you ever kill when u had the chance? (he kind of  
freaks me out sometimes.)  
did u eat a dog instead of going to like burger king or something?  
3.u r HOT!!(x100)  
4. how do u catch people while ur walking when the person is like running  
for their lives!?  
5. in halloween 5 ( or 6) who is that guy with a hat and suitcase following  
u all the time?  
6. just realizing #3 isnt a question,its a fact. u.r. HOT!!  
BYE!  


Michael: -hugs back- Yay! I have another girlfriend! Now I have two!

Spidey: I don't think that's how it works.. you know what, I don't care, I'll let this work itself out.

Michael: Now to answer questions!

1) You mean the creepy old guy that's always stalking me? I tried in Halloween 5....Spidey refused to watch past that point since he hated Halloween 5, so I don't know if he's alive or not....but I REALLY hope he was dead when he collapsed; that old bastard was beating the crap out of me with a baseball bat when he went down...

2) I never ate a dog...and they haven't let me back in burger king since I tried to stab that damned teenager at the cash register....DAMN IT! THAT LITTLE BASTARD WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT MY CAPTAIN KIRK MASK!

3) I am? Yay! -hugs-

4) I plan ahead...that and they're too stupid to stay out in the open where they'll see me coming....and most of them don't run for their lives; they either don't notice me till after they're screwed, or are stupid enough to think they stand a chance like that one girl in Halloween 5 with the pitchfork...

5) I don't remember a guy with a hat and a suitcase...the only guy I can think of that stalks me is the creepy old guy, and you seem to know his name...lomis was it?

6) thanks new girlfriend!

Spidey:...this is going to be a delicious running gag...

-lights go off and on, and 8yume disappears-

Michael: -looks around- New girlfriend? Where did you go?

Spidey:....or not. Next Question!

_**Skullblade**_

_**Orochimaru: That's not creepy...  
Ed: ...Why can I suddenly hear Ch-ch-ch Ha-ha-ha?  
Spidey: ...Where did Freddy get popcorn?  
Sakura: I updated, so no SakuSaiEd for you.  
Spidey: ...I've got to go kill it now, don't I?  
Gomez: -pulls out a fencing sword-  
Morticia: I remember you! You were at that one place, with the thing!  
Pugsley: You smell funny.  
Wednesday: -backs away, fastly-  
Spidey: You seem to have forgotten Lurch, Thing, and Cousin It. Also, read my  
new story.  
**_

Orochimaru: Oh Skully, everything I do is creepy!

Jason: -hugs Ed- Hello new best friend!

Spidey: Well...I GOT MY BRACES OFF! And my grandma got me several bags of popcorn to celebrate! I'm handing out extras. -hands Skull popcorn-

Sakura: What does that have to do with me blackmailing you?

Spidey: You could have Ed kill it for you, he's good at killing things!

Gomez: A challenger! haha! -pulls out fencing sword as well-

Morticia: You were there too?

Pugsley: Why thank you! -hands him lit dynamite-

Wednsday:....at least he didn't touch my hair.

Spidey: -facepalms- AND THEY WERE MY FAVORITES TOO! well, next to Uncle Fester....CRAP I FORGOT UNCLE FESTER! -invites the members he forgot into the fic- Sorry, I was writing while sleep deprived...

-lights go off and on, and Skullblade is missing-

Spidey: Skull, I've figured out it's a prank, so it's not funny anymore, you can come out now...Next question!

_**i'm just a girl playing guitar**_

_**freddy: sweet pea is good for that, as well as japanese cherry b blossom! i  
definitely reccomend it. :D**_

jason: *hugs* this is a dream come true. ;3; i work at a haunted house, you  
know.

spidey: and i shall read it. huzzah.  


Freddy: -writing this down- Nobody has to know....-doesn't realize all the other Horror Icons are videotaping him-

Jason: Cool! -continues hugging-

Spidey: Yay! I can't wait for your review!

-lights go off and on, and Izuko-chan disappears-

Spidey: This prank is getting old...-starts to get nervous-Next Question!

_**BlazingFireAngelXXX**_

_**Spidey: Hello!  
Ash:Hey where's that midget?Sam?  
Sasuke:i met your twin! Oh wait here he is-throws Suneo- he keep saying  
"mommy" and "doraemon", beware!  
Hinata:Strip!Strip!Strip!Strip!Strip!  
Sakura:-executed her for no reason-**_

_**O yea, almost forgot:  
Name:BlazingFIreAngel (forget the triple X, okay?)  
Codename:FlamingAngelofWrath  
Appearance:Sorry,Confidential  
Contributions to Army:Primary Attacker  
**_

_**  
**_Spidey: Hi!

Ash: I don't know, he probably got eaten by Deadites or something....

Sasuke: ...I have no idea who the hell he is.

Hinata: GENTLE FIST CASTRATION TECHNIQUE!

Sakura: -avoided execution-

Spidey: Well, the fangirls were defeated, but it's always good to have more human shields!

-lights go off and on, and Angel disappears-

Spidey: It's just a prank, it's just a prank, it's just a prank... Next Question!

_**diamondkat12**_

_**I love the Adam's family -hands each of them papers to autograph.  
Morticia: If it isn't too much trouble I would like you to participate in an  
art contest with Sai, Deidara and Sasori. I want to see whose art is  
greatest.  
Wednesday: You're such a good sister to your brother.  
Sasuke: I was reading the past chapters and read that someone called you an  
uke and you didn't know what it meant. It'sa yaoi term, the uke is the  
sumissive and the seme is the dominant. You're usually the seme when patred  
with Naruto. I hope you enjoyed the tickets. Who were the people you took with  
you?  
Micheal and Sasuke: I brought psychatrist that specialise in damged children  
to check on you guys. Micheal, you can have this nice guy that blieves that  
boys shouldn't own stuffed animals and Sasuke, I'm sure this nice lady has  
just the right therapy for your current psychotic behaviour.  
**_

Morticia: I'd love too!

Wednsday: I know...-walks over to turn on the electric chair, which Pugsley is sitting in-

Sasuke: Actually, it refers to the dominant and submissive ones in ANY relationship, not just yaoi....and they call me that cause it's in my name. -cries emo-ishly- I invited Team Hawk...

Michael:...which knife should I bring?

Sasuke: I have something for her too, called Chidori!

Spidey: Those two psychiatrists are going to be missing soon... and if my pattern recognition senses are correct, you'll be missing soon too!

-lights go off and on, and Kat is missing-

Spidey: I was right! I ISH SMART! NEXT QUESTION!

_**Senna The Soul Reaper**_

_**Freddy: That one could be attributed to the killing.  
Jason: Go through his closet!  
Ash: Thanks!  
Spidey: Find out next time in Ask The Ninjas Strikes Back!  
Hannibal: I'm sure there's some tea in here somewhere...  
Spidey: I don't know. What do you think, Hannibal? Oh, and Skullblade is  
letting me use one of his new OCs to be my sidekick in your reviews. Meet Earl  
Duke, Ed's best friend, and a vampire! Earl: Yo!  
Dracula: Meet Earl! Earl: Hi! For once, I'm a vampire who isn't one of your  
bastard sons!  
**_

Freddy: Oh. Well, he was making cracks about my burns, so he kinda deserved it...

Jason: -sneaks through his closet- FREEDOM! -finds himself in Ask the Ninjas- Ah crap... -tries to escape before someone asks him something-

Ash: You're welcome!

Spidey:...I hate suspense. I wonder what she could possibly mean...

Hannibal: -mutters something about Spidey being an idiot for not seeing it- Ah, I stole some tea from Spidey's grandmother; we should be fine. And Spidey can come when he figures out what you mean by 'other team'. -whispers in her ear- Want me to bring Yuri fanart? And nice to meet you Earl!

Dracula:...if I had a son, I'd want him to be just like you...Don't tell Skullblade, Danny, D, or Alucard I said that though...

Spidey: -has a tape recording- Wow, Skull's not gonna be happy to hear this...if he even cares...well, that's the end of this chapter....so if any of you want to jump out and scare me, now's the time...

-you get the drill by now-

Spidey: -shakes head and sighs- Senna, whats the point of disappearing at this point when you're just going to be randomly jumping out and scaring me later? Might as well get it over with...like now...Senna? Tori? Krystal? Skull? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?

Dracula: Oh, Spidey, I forgot to tell you the deep dark secret that I've kept from you since I was introduced into this fic: Someone's planning on killing all the other Horror Icons...

Spidey: -points accusingly at him- SO YOU'RE THE RING LEADER IN THIS SILLY PRANK! HA! PRANKS OVER!

Dracula: I can prove it's not a prank...

Spidey: Really? How are you going to...

Dracula: -opens closet, to reveal the bodies of Tori, Krystal, Senna, Kat, Skull, Angel, Izuko, Lord Maul, and 8yume-

Spidey:...that's some compelling evidence you have there.

Dracula: Anyway, I've figured out the identity of the killer; prepare to be shocked beyond belief and have insane fits of denial, because the killer is...

-lights go off then flick back on-

Dracula: -has a bowie knife in his chest- Ah crap, not again...-dies-

Sasuke: -girly screams of terror-

Michael: OMG! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! I MUST PROTECT RAINBOW FLOWER...

-lights go off and on again-

Rainbowflower: -has been incinerated-

Michael: You were a good stuffed Unicorn! -cries emo-ishly- The only one that could possibly have killed you is...

-lights turn off and go back on-

Michael: -is dead-

Freddy: -girly screams of terror-

Hannibal: I'm taking charge of this situation! I will find the killer, before he or she kills another...

-lights go on and off-

Linoge: -is dead, after being shot several times- Bullets...my only weakness.....how did you know? -dies-

Freddy: -girly screams of terror-

Cthuhlu: Well, noone's gonna kill me, cause I'm a go...

-lights go off and on-

Cthuhlu: -has been crushed by a random boat- Where the hell did the killer get a boat....-dies-

Freddy: -tries to scream, but has gone hoarse from multiple girly screams of terror-

Clarice: Everybody! Huddle together! He can't sneak up on us if we stick together....

-lights go off and on-

-Clarice, Morticia, Wednsday, Gomez, Puggsley, Lurch, Fester, Isaac, Dunwhich, Sasuke, Sakura, Sai, and Norman are crushed by the chandalier they were huddling under-

Ash: -rolls eyes- Well, THAT certainly went well...

-lights go off and on again-

Spidey: -looks around, but doesn't see anyone dead- Well, seems the killer messed up this time...

Ash: I wouldn't say that.... -opens closet, and Pinhead and Jigsaws' bodies fall out-

Hannibal: The killer is OBVIOUSLY...

-lights go off and on-

Hannibal: -

Thing: -frantically starts pointing at the person it thinks is the killer-

-lights go off; shotgun blast is heard, and lights go back on-

Thing: -on other side of room, dead-

Ash: -holding shotgun- I hate things that remind me of my right hand...

Spidey: Ash....IT WAS YOU!

Ash: No! I didn't do it, I just wanted to kill that stupid hand...

Sidney: HE'S LYING! NAB HIM BEFORE HE TURNS OUT THE LIGHTS!

Ash: I DIDN'T DO IT! AND I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU! -jumps out window- Wait a second...we're in space...ah shi....-dies-

Sidney: Well, that solves that case! Anybody wanna go get something to eat?

Spidey: Sure! Now that I don't have to worry about my life anymore!

Hinata: -deep in thought- I don't think Williams-san did it, and Spidey wouldn't kill everyone in his own fic, so it could only be one person....

Sidney: -reaches for light switch-

Spidey: IT MUST BE ME! I'M THE KILLER! I MUST HAVE BEEN DOING IT WITHOUT KNOWING IT!

Sidney: -rolls her eyes, and shoots Spidey for being an idiot-

Spidey:...oh...YOU'RE the killer....that's a relief....-dies-

Hinata: Sidney...why?

Sidney: I'm tired of crazy people with knives trying to kill me, so I thought, if I killed them all, I would finally be able to take a break...but they kept asking questions, and they wouldn't stop! And now I'm going to do something really impulsive! -turns off lights-

Hinata: I can still see you...

Sidney: Damn! -gun clicking is heard- Damn, I'm out of ammo...oh well, that's what knives are for!

Hinata: Bring it b1tch!

-the sounds of them running towards eachother, and biting, scratching, clawing, stabbing, slapping, punching, slapping, kicking, spanking , oh, and did I say slapping are heard-

Freddy: -turns lights back on- Catfight....oh my. -sees what they're actually doing-

Hinata and Sidney: -don't notice Freddy as they're currently having hot yuri smex-

Freddy:...

Hinata and Sidney: -notice Freddy-...

Freddy:...BETTER THAN A CATFIGHT!

--

-shears of fate suddenly clip the thread, and Hinata is suddenly back in the circus tent-

Hinata: Wait...so that was all a dream?

Dr. Diabolo: Yeah, pretty much...

Hinata:...does that mean we have to do the entire chapter over again?

Dr. Diabolo:...nah, Spidey'll probably just write out that dream of yours and say that's what happened.

Spidey: So, Hinata, what did you see?

Hinata: Meh, Halloween chapter isn't gonna be so great...

Spidey: Oh, well, good thing I didn't write it then... I guess it's better off that I didn't write it; I had this stupid idea that involved Sidney killing everybody and then had hot smex with y...someone in the story...

Hinata: -suddenly looked suprised- Oh really?

Spidey: Yeah....I don't think you'd have liked that plot twist...

Hinata: Spidey...

Spidey: Yes?

Hinata: I already saw EXACTLY who you were gonna have Sidney have smex with....

Spidey: Oh really?

Hinata: Yup...

Spidey: Well, good thing I didn't do it, didn't I?

Hinata: Spidey....

Spidey: Yes?

Hinata: -pulls out chainsaw- Start running.

Spidey: MEEP! -runs for his life-

Hinata: -chases him with chainsaw- I'M GONNA DISMEMBER YOU YOU PERVERT!

Dr. Diabolo: -watches them and laughs- Poor Hinata; doesn't even realize that her dream WAS the chapter. Oh well, at least she was brave enough to look; she dared see what Dr. Diabolo sees....-suddenly turns around and has green skin and horns, and is surrounded by fire- BUT WILL YOU?

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but I figured I'd make it a Halloween chapter. Dr. Diabolo is from some old horror anthology I saw on TCM last night called "Torture Garden", which was actually pretty good for an old 60's horror film. I'd already written the chapter, but I changed it a bit so too include Dr. D cause the ending wasn't so good. Now please review! **


	37. Return of the Crazyrandomsexiness!

Spidey: I'm back, with more reviews! Dr. Diabolo will be joining us for the rest of the chapter! Submit your crazy scifi stories of what crazy future's you'd see if you look through the shears of fate, and maybe they'll appear in the next chapter!

Dr. Diabolo: Do you dare see what Dr. Diabolo sees?

Spidey: I'm bored, so sure! -looks into the shears of fate-

Spidey's crazy future thingy...

Spidey: -sitting at the computer, watching Tengen Toppa on Youtube- This anime is SO epic! sometimes I wish I could go inside it! -is suddenly sucked into a screen, and brought into the Tengen toppa universe- Freakin' sweat!

Kamina: Who the hell are you?

Spidey: KAMINA! YOU'RE ALIVE!

Kamina: Of course i'm alive, why wouldn't I be?

Spidey: OH, yeah, this episode is before you..um...nothing! Hey, why do you talk about Simon's drill so much? I mean, if you were gay it would make sense, but you're not since you wanna 'combine' with Yoko...

Kamina: WHAT?

Spidey: Oh well... OH, hi Yoko! Thanks for providing us all with fanservice!

Yoko: WHAT?!

Spidey: Yeah, I know, clothes must be hard to aquire in the future; what, with Kamina and Simon going shirtless, and you wearing a bikini and a thong....ooh look, it's that pathetic loser Viral who always gets his a$s handed to him! Hi Viral!

Viral: -inside his Gunmen- What? 

Kamina: So, back for more ass kickin' are you? -gets into Gurren-

Simon: -gets into Lagan-

-both mechs combine into Gurren Lagan-

Spidey: Hey Viral, how does it feel to know that everyone you work for is going to get pwned by Kamina and Simon? You must feel like the pathetic loser you really are...oh look, it's Rosseiu! Don't trust him, he's going to go emo and betray you all!

Rosseiu: What?

Kamina: -has Gurren Lagan turn to Viral's mech- What do you say we make a temporary alliance? 

Viral: Sounds good to me...

Yoko: -pulls out huge machine gun- I like that plan...

Spidey: I don't remember this happening in the series...

-all three characters turn towards Spidey and start shooting him-

-shears suddenly cut thread, causing the setting to return to normal-

Spidey:...well, that was enlightening.

Sidney: What did you see?

Spidey: I saw why it's a bad idea to piss off people with giant robots...

Sidney: -opens mouth to say something, but then closes mouth and shakes head- No, I don't wanna know...

Spidey: Good; FIRST QUESTION!

**ERIN NIGHTSHADE  
Comes Back and waves to Michael with love and affection. Gives Spidey all  
sorts of powers. Gives Freddy a giant glove to kill more people with. Waves to  
Pinhead. Okay, questions.**

Freddy - Can I wear your hat while you kill people? So you don't get blood on  
it.

Michael - Why was Dr. Loomis stalking you? You weren't doing anything. I LOVE  
YOU! *HUGS*

Pinhead - I'm sorry for the last question I asked you. I think you rock. So,  
tortured anyone lately?

Hannibal - Any good recipes in your book?

Jason - Move away from home. Put your mother in a retirement home. You'll end  
up like Norman if you don't.

Spidey - What's your top ten favorite horror movies?

Idea: Reagan from the Exorcist should show up! She's awesome! 

Freddy: NO! MY HAT, MINE! MY PRECIOUSSSS! -holds hat away from her- And besides, I know a guy that's really good at getting blood stains out.

Michael: I don't know; there was absolutely no reason for him to start stalking me; he had no way of knowing I was going to kill most of my sisters friends then hunt her down with a knife!

Pinhead: It's alright; and no, Spidey won't let me have any victims...

Spidey: -rolls eyes and throws the skrull to him- It's a skrull, so noone will miss it anyway...

Pinhead: YAY! -goes to torture skrull-

Jason: I tried taking her to a retirement home, but when I handed her head to the nurse, she screamed and fainted....it made me sad that she was insulting my mother, so I started stabbing her with my machete, and then this other nurse started screaming, so I went and started stabbing her, and things just got worse from there...

Spidey: Evil Dead, Nightmare on Elmstreet, Halloween, Stephen King's It, Psycho (from what I've seen of it), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original), Hell Raiser, Child's Play, Scream, and Torture Garden. Might not QUITE be in order, but are still all on the list. Next question!

_**BlazingFireAngelXXX **_

_**Ash: Who would win in a fight between Dante and you?  
Hinata:-Counter-  
Sakura:-throw her in the pit of 300 horny Spidey clone who take 500 Viagra  
every seconds-  
Dracula:-behead him-  
Jason:-sings his mother is a (vulgar term for female dog)-  
**_

Ash: I don't know. -goes to fight Dante-

Hinata: The Gentle Fist Castration technique cannot be countered!

Sakura: This can't end well...

Spidey: -throws chainsaw into pit-

Sakura: Thanks Spidey! -catches chainsaw and starts massacring clones-

Dracula: What did you do that for? -turns into gas and reforms-

Jason: -steals Cloud's sword and goes after BFA- NOBODY TALKS ABOUT MY MOTHER THAT WAY!

Spidey: Alas, poor BFA; I didn't really know him... Next question!

**krystalkruegar777**

_**Wishmaster: -timidly comes out of hiding place, and nodded her head-**_

Pennywise: -steps forward and cautiously hugs him- I'm sorry for being  
m…m-mea- mean to you… in fact… -looks at all the horror icons that  
she'd poked with a icicle- I'm really sorry for being a bloody pest to all  
of you… m…m-may I have a hug? If not, I'll understand… -sighs and  
looks down at her feet, sadly-

Norman: - clips on a friendship bracelet around his wrist and gives him a  
chest full of chocolate chip brownies- C…C-Can I be your friend? Even  
thought... you and Norma Bates think all women are succubus and… evil.

Freddy: -quietly tip-toes behind him, without warning, she'd glomps him-  
Happy belated Halloween, Freddy! Anyways, can ya show me around your infamoushouse and boiler room? –doing the puppy eyes- if… you're not busy smack talkin' the Lead Cenobite's mother…  


Wishmaster: So...wanna wish for something?

Pennywise: Meh, go ahead; just don't let the other evil demonic murders see; or I'll have to kill thousands of people to restore my image.

Norma: She's adorable! MARRY HER NORMAN!

Freddy: Sure I can! I'll just have my apprentices smack talk Pinhead's mother while I'm away! -carries her to Boiler room-

Spidey: -yells inside- YOU TWO BETTER KEEP IT T-RATED IN THERE! Next question...

_**Law the Lord of Souls**_

_**wow this is a great ask fic. i have just finished reading the day after  
halloween weird, anywho I would like to start by asking freddy how come you  
don't use your dream powers to make yourself look normal I mean you can do  
that right. and also to every one if you were the opposite sex what would be  
different besides either having or not having boobs and the reproductive  
organs like personality things exept for hannibal cause thats kinda creepy to  
think about... on second thought never mind i want to see what he would say.**_

well ttfn ta ta for now  


Freddy: It's scarier that way.

Spidey: Huh? Did the text wall ask you something?

Sidney: -sighs- He asked everyone what would be different if they were the opposite sex...

Spidey: -groans- he expects me to remember EVERYONE in this fic...ah well, I'll try!

Freddy: Maybe I wouldn't have kidnapped little girls and killed them... but I'd still be an evil serial killer.

Jason: I wouldn't be as big, I guess? And maybe the mean boys at the camp wouldn't have been AS eager to drown me in the lake...

Dr. Diablolo: Maybe I AM the opposite sex of what you think I am...but maybe I'm not and am just messing with your head; you never know with me!

Norman: Mother would be an over-protective father and would be more afraid of me being stolen away by a man than a woman. -randomly runs away and comes back dressed in drag- Oh, that son of mine! I'm not over-protective...I just wouldn't want ANYONE to steal my Norman away...he's mine damnit, MINE!

Michael: People wouldn't think I was gay because of rainbow-flower...

Rainbowflower:...

Michael: It's ok Rainbowflower, I don't care what those jerks say...-hugs stuffed unicorn-

Gomez: I'd be the tomboyish, yet sexy female heiress to the family fortune...and maybe I'd join Charle's angels...oh, and me and Morticia would have hot yuri smex....

Morticia: But we already have hot smex....

Gomez: But not hot YURI smex!

Morticia: True...and assuming this is the same universe where Gomez is female, I'd probably be the silent, somewhat shy, and efeminate poor boy who fell madly in love with the rich, yet Tomboyish heiress.

Gomez: -looks at Morticia-

Morticia: -looks at Gomez-

-both make out-

Spidey: FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, SAVE IT FOR THE CLOSET! YOU TWO ARE HORNIER THAN MOST RABBITS!

Leatherface: I dunno...wouldn't really matter all that much.

Pinhead: I have no gender; the body I am currently using was originally male, but I have done away will any and all gender! Join us in our eternal pain and pleasure! Become a cebonite! It's what all the kids are doing nowadays...-getures to two cebonites behind him-

Cebonite #1: Do you think that chick's hawt?

Cebnoite #2: Nope!

Cebonite #1: Me neither!

-both high five-

Pinhead: See? Cebonite is the new goth! It's also the new emo, beatnik, hippie, gangsta, punk, and any other peculiar social group that somehow reached popularity thanks to disgruntled teenagers and pop-culture...

Sidney: Maybe I wouldn't have started dating a psychotic murderer who was planning to inflict stabbity death on me the whole time.

Hannibal: To tell you the truth; almost nothing would change. I would still be the man...person I am today, and if anything, maybe in my younger years my gender would only be another weapon in my arsenol.

Spidey: As many people are in this fic, it would be too troublesome to find them all, so why don't I just move on my saying NEXT QUESTION!

_**Skullblade**_

_**Orochimaru: It's called sarcasm.  
Ed: -stabs Jason in reflex-  
Spidey: Woo! Popcorn!  
Sakura: ...I'm not quite sure.  
Spidey: Indeed he is...  
Gomez: -gets ready-  
Morticia: Wasn't that great?  
Pugsley: ...-explodes-  
Enaku: Erm, sorry about Skull exploding, I'll get what's left of him in the  
cloning tank right away. I'll just pick up where he left off...  
Wednesday: -touches hair-  
Fester: ...-hands a lightbulb-  
Enaku: ... um... Too the Cloning Tank!  
**_

Orochimaru: What does that word mean?

Jason: Hey, you say hi by stabbing people too? -says hi back to him with his machete-

Spidey: Since I recently got my braces off, I can EAT popcorn...then again, when I had braces, I ate it anyway...

Sakura: Well, I'd also like some more Sasuke bashing in ATN; he deserves it for not noticing me all those years, and since ATN Sasuke is currently straight, he doesn't really have an excuse.

Spidey: He does it for a living! Wait...what did you want him to kill again?

Gomez: Engard! -flips forward and lands near Skullblade in a fighting stance with his word pointing towards him-

Morticia: Weren't you that guy I thought was Gomez cause I was drunk and almost ended up doing things with in the closet before the alcohal poisoning kicked in and I lost conciousness?

Pugsley: It's ok; I know how hard it can be to resist the urge. -eats lit dynamite-

Wednsday: -pulls out chainsaw- People who touch my hair should lose their arms and most of their limbs in a chainsaw related murder....

Fester: -sticks lightbulb in mouth and lights it- Thanks pal!

Spidey: Make sure you clean out the fly DNA first...I was cloning them so Wednsday would have something to practice throwing her cards at...-points to Wednsday, who just pinned a fly to a wall on the other side of the room by throwing a regular playing gard at it- Next question!

_**Ronnie-The angel of Darkness**_

_**Freddy: How did ya become a dream deamon?  
Ash: What exacly are you? A Robot/ Human? Spidey: Waz up!!  
Jason: Hows your life?  
Sidney: you scare me  
**_

Freddy: Meh, I got burned to death, things happened, and I started killing teenagers in their dreams...

Ash: The name is Ashley J. Williams -loads gun- Housewares.

Spidey: Nuthin. And you're a new reviewer, so you get some perverted fanart for the pairing of your choice! Made by either Sai, or Morticia!

Jason: Still dead; how are you?

Sidney: You're wise to be...-scary look-

Spidey: -backs away from Sidney- Is it just me, or did she just get a hundred times scarier? NEXT QUESTION!

_**diamondkat12**_

_**Sasuke: Are you sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you are a pretty  
boy? Don't worry I support you as seme but I'm curious about something. Can  
you pass for a girl without sexy no jutsu. -holds up a pretty black dress- Try  
this on.  
Orochimaru: You did a good job in training Sasuke power-wise but I must say  
that you did a horrible job in raising him to have good manners. He is more of  
a disrespectful, arrogant brat now than before he went to you. Would you mind  
if I sent him to you to train him to be more respectful?  
To the immortal horror icons: What are the benefits and downsides of being  
immortal?  
**_

Sasuke: I'm NOT putting on a dress for you, pervert.

Orochimaru: Hey, I tried to teach him good manners, but when I did, he slapped me and told me to teach him new jutsus, and so I b1tch slapped him, then threw him into a cell with this one crazy pink-haired chick with glasses that I don't remember the name of as punishment...And I'd say the drawback of being immortal is being trapped in this damned sword I'm now canonically trapped in.

Freddy: I can't kill horny teenagers unless they remember me...

Jason: Horny teenagers skinny dipping in my water supply.

Dracula: Being in all those horrendously crappy Hammer Films, not to mention those "Daughter of Dracula", "Son of Dracula" and "House of Dracula" travesties...

Pinhead: Being trapped in a damned puzzle box...

Chucky: Being a damned doll.

Spidey: That's all the immortals in this fic that I can think of.

Sidney: Well, it's been MONTHS since you typed that line, I don't think anyone else is going to review.

Spidey: Ah, can't we wait a little longer...

All the fans of this fic: NO!

Spidey: Fine...I guess updating this story would be a good start for me to get back to updating anyway. I've kept my fans waiting too long! -goes to his log in, then turns on some random lights outside that say 'open for business'- No more waiting for my writers block to clear up! I don't care if I have to type random, crappy oneshots till I get some ideas for my actual stories; fans of my fics shall wait no longer! Spidey3000 is back in business!


	38. Join me In the Spiral!

Spidey: I'm back, with another chapter! As i start typing chapters of this story BEFORE I have enough reviews to call it a chapter, I can only hope that this chapter hasn't been posted years after I typed this weird intro thingy...yes, it's just the way I do things with this fic. Anyway, on to the chapter; today, I'll be introducing several new characters! They're from a horror manga I've read called "Uzumaki"; I haven't read the entire manga, but I've read up to the third issue. Now, please welcome our first guess...Shuichi!

Shuichi: -looks around, terrifiedly- W-where am I?

Spidey: Relax, you're in an ask fic...which takes place in my secret base that TOTALLY isn't an orbital space station cleverly disguised as a regular T.V. satellite.

Shuichi: -sighes with relief- Wherever I am, I can only hope I'm far away from that god-forsaken town and it's evil spirals!

Spidey: -nods- You couldn't GET to that town from here if you wanted to...

Shuichi: -sighes with relief- Then I'm safe...

Spidey: Wouldn't say that... cause our next guest is Azami!

Azami: -appears out of nowhere- AAAAAAAAAHH....hey, I'm alive...and my scar isn't slowly turning into some weird vortex that will eventually consume and kill me....-looks at her scar in the mirror which, sadly, is currently a two inch wide, hollow, spinning vortex of death- Damn it...

Spidey: Sorry, you're totally weird scar thing was too good as a potential running gag for me to completely remove it; but don't worry, I made sure it won't grow any bigger than that no matter how obsessed you get with Shuichi...

Azami: -not paying attention- Shuichi? WHERE? -sees Shuichi- SHUICHI! YOU'RE HERE! AND OUT IN THE OPEN! -runs after Shuichi-

Shuichi: -girly screams of terror- IT'S THE STALKER! -runs into the closet-

Azami: Damn it! -beats on closet door- Let me in, Shuichi!

Shuichi: I'll come out when I get a copy of your death certificate! Why the hell did Spidey even bring you here anyway? You only survived for one fricking chapter, and the fans probably hate you!

Spidey: Why to torture you of course! -evil laughter- No hard feelings; you're my favorite character after all, but what can i say? You're mental scarring is my amusement...speaking of mental scarring; our next guest is my second favorite character, and probably amoung the most insane so far, please welcome, Shuichi's Father!

Shuichi's Father: -appears out of nowhere- I HAVE BECOME A SPIRA....-notices he's back to normal- What? I'm not a spiral anymore! NOOOOOOOOOOO! -tries to twist himself into a spiral... and gets electrocuted-

Spidey: -holding a remote- No hurting yourself! You'll be electrocuted before you can twist yourself into a spiral, so I suggest you stop! Speaking of hurting yourself...our next guest is probably the exact opposite of Shuichi's father....Shuichi's Mother!

Shuichi's Mother: -appears out of nowhere- Huh? Where am I....oh no....I can hear...THERE ARE STILL SPIRALS IN MY EARS! -looks for something to stab herself through the ears with, but gets shocked-

Spidey: Ok, seriously, what the hell is with this family, and self-inflicted harm? Seriously, with those genes, it's a wonder Shuichi hasn't gone emo...though he HAS gone a bit crazy. Anyway, I've brought someone with me to help reduce the amount of times I have to shock you...

Agent K: Maam, I'm here to make those nasty spirals in your body go away, just look into the pretty light...-holds up neuralizer-

Shuichi's Mom: Oooh, pretty...-is neuralized-

K: There are no spirals in your ears, there never were any.

Spidey: Thanks K.

K: No problem. -walks away-

Spidey: Kurenai, you do the rest.

Kurenai: -nods, and casts a genjutsu on Shuichi's mom so she won't see spirals in her fingers, toes, or anything else on her body- She probably doesn't even know what chakra is, so I don't think that she'll be dispelling that genjutsu; however, it won't stop her from seeing spirals that aren't attached to her.

Spidey: Thanks Kurenai, you can go back to Ask the Ninja's now....

Kurenai: Can't; that creepy stalker girl is outside the door and there's no way in hell I'm going near her...

Shuichi: -from closet- I agree with you entirely! I don't want to be near her either!

Spidey: Well, anyway, I guess you're all eagerly awaiting for me to get on with this chapter already, so I shall! FIRST QUESTION!

_**Erin Nightshade  
Hannibal: *Hugs* You're now my favorite horror icon. So, doing anything  
Friday night? *winks*  
Michael: I love you no matter what people say. *Hugs*  
Freddy: sorry but I'm now attracted to Hannibal lecter but you still rock.  
Jason: Have some back bone. Don't let the man keep you down.  
Spidey: Torture someone the next chance you get.  
Pinhead: -lets Pinhead out of his damned puzzle box- You're free! YA!  
Hannibal: what is your favorite way to kill someone before you cook and eat  
them?  
**_

Hannibal: Oh, I'm going to be having crazy monkey smex with Clarice in the closet...wouuld you like to join us?

Clarice: We could always use a third...

Michael: Yay! -glomps-

Freddy: I know I do. -sweeps non-existant hair-

Jason: -randomly fell asleep-

Spidey: -slams hand on desk- WAKE UP! AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR QUESTION!

Jason: -shoots up- You want me to break a man's backbone? Can do...-grabs Freddy and snaps his back like a twig- That work?

Spidey: Technically, every character in this fic is tortured daily by circumstances I control, or by people reviewing this fic, and since I brought them here...

Pinhead: FREEDOM!

Hannibal: I like drugging them, opening their skull cap, and feeding them part of their own brain while they're too high to figure out what's going on...

Spidey:...ok, that's just plain messed up; in an awesome way. Next Question!

_**Guesswho**_

_**I suggest you have Croup and Vandemar join the madness. And Sweeney Todd.**_

And yes, I know I'm insane.

Have any of you ever eaten someone alive?

Spidey:...I have no idea who the first two are, and know nothing about the third. And compared to most of the people in this fic including myself, you seem very sane. And no...

Hannibal: Well, I _started_ to eat someone while he was alive; heh, funny part is, I served him part of his own brain...and he ATE IT! People are fun when they're drugged....

Leatherface: Well, not _alive_, but I have eaten my share of people...

Azami: Some random guy got sucked into my scar; does that count?

Spidey: What? No comments on which section I put the fic in? Just kidding. Next Question!

_**Skullblade  
Amazing what you can do with Cloning these days... I mean, look at Solid  
Snake!  
Orochimaru: ...I'm going to have to bring a mongoose in here, aren't I?  
Ed: The Pain! -pulls out a rocket launcher-  
Spidey: So did I!  
Sakura: Done. Oh, and I have a new person to stalk, so bye!  
Spidey: My random clone? I think...  
Gomez/Morticia: I don't remember this event of which you spe- Ed, stall for  
time! -jumps out window with a space helmet on-  
Ed: -pulls out a flashlight- Time for a tour of the haunted space station!  
Enaku: I've gotta do this again? Great...  
Wednesday: Erm... god, Ryumura, why did you never teach me self-control!?  
Fester: You're welcome! -starts running-  
Spidey: Would you prefer another of Skull's OCs? Cause I think you may need  
one so- OHGODTHECHAINSAWITYDEATH!  
**_

Orochimaru: NO! NO MONGOOSE! THEY'RE GODLESS KILLING MACHINES!

Jason: Cool! I always wanted a rocket launcher! are we good enough friends yet for you to share it with me? -gives puppy dog eyes-

Spidey: Get your braces off, eat popcorn while you still had them, or both?

Sakura: Yay! Who's the unlucky girl?

Spidey: Well, as long as it doesn't have your author/reviewer powers, it shouldn't be too difficult for him to kil... damn, I'm guessing this line of conversation is dead since I can't think of a funny reply for it... so I'll just use it for fic peddling! -turns around- LEGEND OF THE ICY HOT NINJA! The tail of three OC genin and their almost-Gary-stu sensei as they struggle to become the greatest shinobi that they can possibly be without being stupidly overpowered...but little do they know, they may very well already be.... Now playing on a profile near you! Namely mine...

Morticia: Are we even talking about the same time and place?

Gomez: You won't escape me that easily! -goes to jump out window, but Spidey stops him-

Spidey: -shakes head- Technically, you won the duel by default, since he forgot the rest of the spacesuit when he grabbed that helmet and i have no idea how he's going to survive in space with just a helmet. Or would have, if that window had actually lead outside the ship; that window just goes into the women's showers; though how he knew there was a window hidden behind the portait, I have no idea.... ah oh, Sidney, Hinata and clarice should be showering about now....and after they've killed Skullblade, they won't be happy to discover there's a window leading into the showers....

SD (Shioshi's dad): -jumps out of the shadows at Ed- JOIN ME IN THE SPIRAL! -sticks out his freakishly long tounge and twists it into a spiral shape-

Spidey: Do what? -farts out an explosion large enough to blow a hole in the wall- Sorry, dynamite gives me gas... and now i need new pants, since there's a hole in these ones...damn it, that was a new pair too...

Wednsday: Because I killed him...just kidding....but seriously, you should consider running for your life about now....

Fester: Bye! -waves, as Wednsday runs past him- You two have fun...

Spidey: -took away Wednsday's chainsaw before she reached Enaku, but doesn't tell him that- Try soiling yourself! That should scare her off! -revvs chainsaw near him- Next Question...

_**DtecnoKira  
Speaking of reviews and questions...I forgot to leave one, great chapter ^^  
Hey, ever hear of the show Freakazoid, Spidey..just wondering.**_

Spidey: Heard of it? It was one of my favorite shows! And don't worry, I'll post the rest of your questions right about....now!

**Dtecno's Questions/Comments (posted over multiple reviews...and no Dtecno, I'm not posting all of them):**

**1) uke=yaoi term  
other than that, great chapter!**

Spidey: OBJECTION! It means "One who recieves", so the use of it in yaoi is out of context; thus, I'll use it out of context however you want! Also, even if that use was in context, it would also be a yuri term! But yes, it was a great chapter.

**2)Oh, I know...to all characters...what would sex ed be like if you were the teacher?**

Spidey:....you did NOT just say 'all the characters'! Do you seriously hate me, or do you just like to force me wrack my brain till i remember everyone in this fic? -insane ranting-

Pugsley: I don't know what sex is, but if i was teaching it, I'd probably do it with a girl so I could show the class how to do it, instead of playing some boring video that put everyone to sleep....

Jason:...what the hell is sex? And who's this Ed person?

Hannibal: Oh, it would be very informative, all the information would be factual, and the children that didn't shut up and let me teach would be forced to stay after class, to help teach my cooking class.

Clarice: I'd encourage abstinence...speaking of sex, Hannibal, it's 4:00.

Hannibal: -picks up Clarice, and runs into the closet-

Freddy: It would take place at night, while the students were sleeping, and depending on the age group I'm teaching, it might have hands on experience for the girls. -perverted grin-

Dracula: Well, I figure they're teenagers, smart enough to figure out how to use...what was it called? Counterception or something like that -has never used it-.... so, instead of teaching them all that non-sense about STDs, and abstinence, I'd teach them the art of seduction; the fine art of getting two girls to agree to a threesome without biting them and making them do it; and maybe I'd also bring in my wives to demonstrate how two females should go about the art of seduction and such, threesomes....oh, and maybe hands on experience for the males, while I educate the females...on second thought, the females in the class had best spend some quality time with my wives too, just in case they end up in a threesome, or so they'll know what to do when they eventually get to college and start experimenting... and maybe after the class, I'd turn the females who managed to ace the course into vampires and add them to my harem of wives.... You know what, I'm going to go apply for a job as sex ed teacher; my teachings could do the youth of this country some good! -runs to go apply for a job-

Spidey: Why do I get the feeling that 'the youth of this country' are going to multiply by quite alot if I let him near a sex ed class.... Anyway, sorry Dtecno, but as long as it took to answer that one, I'm not bothering going to find the rest of your reviews. maybe next chapter. NEXT QUESTION!

_****_

*apears in a fiery vortex of black flame*greating from the being previously  
known as shaderoth  
spidey:im back oh is that war still going on im to lazy to check on my own  
issac:yes dead bodies there are more now needless to say i can now say that i  
wipped out an entire world of life  
well im off to destroy more planets *vanishes in planet destroying explosion*  


Spidey: No, we made peace with them... negotiations were easy once I killed the ones that didn't want to compromise...

Issac: -b1tch slaps Shade- You should have left survivors so they could be sacrificed to He-Who-Walks-Behind-The-Rows!

Spidey: Unless it was a skrull world; then I would advise that you fly through the debris and shoot anything that looks like a whole dead body to make sure there are no survivors... Next Question!

_**diamondkat12  
Sasuke:When was the last time you got harrased by a rabid fangirl? -snaps  
finger and an army of a thousand fangirls appear behind her- If you can easily  
defeat an army of a thousand ninjas, can you defeat an army of a thousand  
rabid fangirls.-rabid fangirls strugle with the barrier preventing them from  
jumping Sasuke-  
Orochimaru:What is your opinion of Kabuto's plan to control and harness the  
part of you he fused with himself? Also, I just finished reading the Harry  
Potter series and I noticed some similarities between you and Lord Voldemort.  
Are you related to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named(Lord Voldemort)?  
Wishmaster:I wish that you had no choice but to grant people's wishes as they  
truly desire. Let's see you find a way out of that.  
Spidey:I'm impressed at the way you've managed to keep this Ask fic going. It  
must be a lot of work. Great job  
**_

Sasuke: -sees fangirls, gulps, and turns back to Kat- Why Kat, you're looking lovely today; is that a new haircut?

Orochimaru: I like anything that will inevitably result in my ressurection. And I don't like to talk about my relatives...

Wishmaster: It's against the rules for you to force me to do something besides grant the wish. As your wish would force me to grant wishes in a way other than I normally do, I won't grant it. DENIED! -slams gavel on desk-

Spidey: Thank you. It can be alot of work at times, but I enjoy writing it. The biggest pain is getting to center the entire fricking review after I post the chapter; but wrapping up a chapter can be difficult too. Speaking of which, that wraps up this chapter. Sidney, the threat of the day...what? I needed come up with some kind of gimmik I could end chapters with, and alot of chapters have ended with threats to the audience anyway...

Sidney: -sighs- Review, or we'll send Shuichi's father to your house...

Shuichi's father: Join me in the spiral...-spins eyes-


	39. Don't stop Refreshin!

Spidey: I'm back! with what appears to be the longest review so far! Skull's gonna be pissed that someone stole his record. Damned emo-glitch tried to stop me from posting today; so to celebrate my ability to post anyway I'm randomly going to be introducing even MORE characters!

Sidney: WHAT?!

Freddy: WHAT?!

Ash: WHAT?!

Jason: WHAT?

Spidey: You heard me the first time! Introducing, all the characters from Bokurano! FIRST QUESTION!

_**From: DtecnoKira **_

_**...Hm I need to reread this. You mentioned Uzumaki, brought in Naruto  
characters...yet I didn't see any jokes about Naruto himself..oh well, Anyway,  
I'll go hunt down my old questions.**_

To Norman: Who the hell are you?  
To Michael: You know, I've heard of you but never much about you...what's  
your origin story?

To Ash: How old were you when you lost your virginity?  
Freddy: Have you even lost yours?  
To Jigsaw: I can haz cheezburger?  
To Ash: Who the hell wears a rubber cup?  
(That was in response to Chapter 17)

To all: What is the greatest thing you can think of doing with Icy Hot?  
(Just change it to the main characters...like Ash, Hannibal, whoever)

Spidey: If all of these horror icons were about to have their movies banned  
from America and you could pick half of them to save, who would you save?

Ash: Apparently, in Japan, your movie is known as Captain Supermarket...your  
thoughts on this?

To everyone: What would you do if you had a notebook that could control the  
world?

Freddy: Do you realize Sailor Saturn could pwn you badly? Anyway, do you  
accept bribes...?? I'd like a favor.  
(In response to Chapter 10)

Ash said: I love all of them, but FF8 is the best in the series! -runs off to  
play FF8-  
My question to Ash: Were you ever dropped on your head as a baby?

To everyone: If you were in super smash brothers, what would your movesets  
be? And what would your final smashes do?

To Spidey, if you are familiar with Freakazoid, how could you not remember  
Candlejack when he

Spidey: Meh, Naruto himself didn't get asked anything. And you KNOW I'm referring to a different Uzumaki!

Norman: I'm Norman Bates...and this is my mother. -gestures to a blank space next to him, then suddenly puts on a wig- _Pleased to meet you young man...Kill him Norman, while I've got him distracted! _But mother, killing is wrong! _Don't make me do it myself! _

Michael: I killed my sister when I was little. Then I grew up and tried to kill my other sister; then I killed my sister's daughter, along with lots of teenagers...

Ash: None of your business; you're not getting any from me kid.

Freddy: Have you?

Jigsaw: -pulls lever, causing Dtecno to fall through a trapdoor- I want to play a game...

Ash: Nobody I know....

Spidey: But chapter 17...

Ash: What? everyone else gets to have a continuity error, don't I get one?

Spidey: I would make it so noone every asks 'everyone' questions again...

Hannibal: Eating people would be legal...

Shuichi: I'd get rid of whatever evil is in that town that my girlfriend lives in so I wouldn't have to be afraid of anything spiral shaped whenever I go there.

Ash: A world without deadites attacks...well, maybe there'd still be a FEW deadite attacks, just to keep me from getting rusty...

Sidney: People with knives and Ghostface masks wouldn't constantly try to kill me....

SF: There'd be more spirals in the world....-spins eyes-

SM: There would be no spirals in the world, and my husband wouldn't be so damned obsessed with them.

SF: Woman, if you keep bad talking spirals, I'm gonna make spirals out of you do you hear me! -walks towards her menacingly-

Spidey: Sidney! Distract him! use the naked dancing...

Sidney: I've got a better idea...-puts Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann episodes in DVD player- Creepy Spiral guy! I have something to show you!

SF: -sees screen- SPIRALS! -starts watching intently- Spiral energy...drills....spiral....-drools-

Spidey: Ok, my first thought is Ash, but he's never going to be in a movie again, and has awesome comics to carry on his name; Freddy's movies have deterriorated since the first one; Norman and Hannibal have books to survive in...I guess I'll say, Jason, because he has a movie coming up and i actually have high hopes for it...my cynical side is angry at me for this.

Ash: So I'm a captain now? Cool. Good to know one culture out there respects my rank as captain...

Freddy: I don't even know who she is. And no. Just for trying to bribe me you're going to have nightmares about a world without yaoi...yes, I know all about your yaoi obsession; it's pretty damned creepy for a GUY to be yaoi obsessed, don't you think?

Ash: Do you want to be dismembered with a rusty chainsaw as a teenager?

Spidey: Must...resist...killing...urges....-twitches-

Ash: My final smash would be jumping on to a shopping cart, gunning someone down, then saying "Hail to the king, baby," and make out with some random babe...

Hannibal: Mine would be cutting my opponents head open and eating part of their brain...

Jason: I'd machete them to death...or axe them to death....or crush their skull with my bare hands....ya know, whatever works.

Michael: My final smash would be having Rainbow Flower kill them for me...

Gomez: My final smash...I would yell 'enguard' and rush at them, with fire in my heart, becoming an unSTOPABLE swordsman, fighting for honor...and love...-makes out with Morticia-

Spidey: Ok, seriously, am I going to have to put a wall between them or something?

Linoge: my taunt would be telling them their deepest, darkest secrets. I wouldn't need anything else; they'd be driven to suicide by that alone...and if that didn't work, my Z-grab would be taking over their minds and making them kill themselves.

Spidey: Oh! I remember that episode! It was the first one I saw. And no, he won't be joining us, but if it makes you feel better... -summons random voice from that episode- Ok, when the voice says scream, scream!

Random voice: Scream.

Children: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spidey: heh! this is fun...

Voice: Scream.

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spidey: Heh heh, this must be one of those gags that won't get old after hearing it millions of times. NEXT QUESTION!

_**Skullblade  
-walks back in- Hinata will be harming me as soon as she gets dressed.  
-reads Dracula's Sex Ed response- ...You are the greatest father ever.  
Orochimaru: -summons Riki-Tiki-Tavi-  
Ed: -launches a rocket at Jason-  
Spidey: Both!  
Sakura: Her name is Willow, she's from Buffy. And she's also a powerful witch  
who's girlfriend and her may actually kill me! Not to mention her Werewolf  
ex-boyfriend(Played by Seth Green)! Isn't stalking fun?  
Spidey: Before peddling, update! I will attempt the same!  
Morticia: Probably not.  
Gomez: -throws Earl at him- He can fence, and being a vampire, won't die if  
you stab him! Earl: ...Damn you, Skullblade. You threw me in an ask fic...  
Spidey: I knew where that window led. Also, a Sai fanart painting of Hinata  
is not a good hiding place. Speaking of which, she should be just about  
dressed now... See ya! -runs-  
Ed: -slaps SD across the room- And on your left, we have the scariest thing  
to ever exist! -points at Cthulu in the shower-  
-Ryumura jumps down from ceiling-Ryumura: Hi! Did you know fainting can  
activate his l337 mode?  
Enaku: -faints-**_

Dracula: Yeah, sure whatever. -throws skullblade a chainsaw- Go play with that...-busy reading Icha Icha-

Orochimaru: My name is Orochimaru, you killed my father, prepare to... OH GOD! GET IT OFF! MY MOTHER WAS RIGHT! I'M NO MATCH FOR THAT GODLESS KILLING MACHINE! -stops talking as Riki is now biting into his throat-

Jason: Cool! You're the best friend ever! -catches rocket- My real dad never took me out to play ca...-is blown up-

Sakura:...ok, you do that, I'll go plan your intervention. See you soon! Wait...isn't Willow a lesbian now? Buffy too, actually, since she got freaky with another girl in the comics.

Spidey: I shall! But I have so many things to update, and my brain isn't working with me...

Gomez: At last, I have finally discovered a worthy opponent! -dramatic fencing stance- Engard!

Spidey: Damn it, I knew I should have hidden it behind the picture of Orochimaru naked...noone would want to go near that.

SD: -flying acrossed room- SPIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal -disappears into the shadows-

Cthutlu: -singing and dancing naked in the shower, oblivious to the fact that he's being watched- _Ya don't have to be cool, to rule my world, I just want your extra time, and you... _-sees Ed- TURN THAT DAMNED LIGHT OFF BEFORE I KILL YOUR PERVERTED LITTLE PUNK A$S!

Spidey: -shielding his eyes- DO WHAT THE EMBODIED EVIL SAYS! IT BURNS MY EYES! And no, I did not know that, why?

Enaku: 1 4M 73H 1337 N1NJ4!

Spidey: -hides chainsaw- That can't be good....-backs slowly away from Enaku- NEXT QUESTION!

_**Erin Nightshade**_

Hannibal: Of course I'll have sex with you. It's always been a dream of mine.  
I love you so much!  
Michael: You're my new bestest hottest friend ever! And I love you so much.  
*protects Michael from anyone who wants to harm him*  
Jason: That's exactly what I mean. Show no mercy.  
Freddy: I have so many pictures of you...you were hot in all of them. I get  
bored in my sleep, mind fixing that for me? *smiles*  
Pinhead: Now that I have freed you from your box, what do you plan to do  
next?  
Spidey: What is your favorite way to torture these characters?

Hannibal: Well, best you be getting in the closet then; Clarice is getting impatient...

Michael: Yay! Now my girlfriend is a body guard...

Jason: Mercy? What does that world mean?

Freddy: OK! -doesn't pick up on the subtext-

Pinhead: I'M GOING TO DISNEY LAND! -puts on mickey mouse cap and jumps into bus-

Spidey: Throwing them to horny fangirls. -throws Freddy into a HUGE horde of fangirls- Suprising how many fangirls the disfigured pedofile has...

Freddy: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALP!

Spidey: -waves- have fun! Next Question!

_**crunchygirl89**_

OMG!

Ash,  
Did you know they were going to make freddy vs jason vs ash?

Jason,  
Your super hot and cool!! How did your face get deformed?

Michael,  
When i saw you as a kid on one of those movies of halloween, You looked hot!!  
*Kisses*

Freddy,  
How old was you when you met loretta?  
Did you ever plan raping your daughter? Just asking...

Sakura,  
Your cool..NOT! JK

Jigsaw,  
If you on here  
I think you the coolest game killing person.

Michael Jorden,  
OMG!!  
I liked that song you sang when you was a kid and young adult  
(Never can say goodbye)

Kakashi,  
I hate you becuz you killed Kakuzu!! *Takes jason machete* Ill give it back  
to you jason i just need to do some buisness...*Chases kakashi with machete*

Ill be back!!  


Ash: They already made it. Well, in comic form anyway. Spidey still hasn't read it though.

Spidey: IS IT MY FAULT THAT THERE ARE NO COMIC BOOK STORES IN MY HOMETOWN? -cries dramatically-

Jason: I was born that way...and years of wearing that mask and occasionally getting stabbed in the face or axed to the head by surviving teenagers didn't help much...

Michael: Yay! Now I have THREE girlfriends!

Freddy: 18. And no, that's disgusting even for me.

Sakura: Whatever.

Jigsaw: Thank you.

Kakashi: -running from crazy girl with machete- I was putting him out of his misery! He would have died soon anyway....

Spidey: Sai, hook the lady up with some perverted fanart! Next Question!

_**view of the beautiful sea **_

_**whoa. it's been a while. (this is i'm just a girl playing guitar, or  
izuko-chan. i'm fickle with my screennames)**_

freddy: oh, don't worry about it. i'm sure no one else knows. *video taping  
it secretly*

jason: are you mad about the remake of friday the thirteenth?

sweeney todd: i have your child. he acts just like you.

Spidey: IZUKO! YOU'RE ALIVE! -glomps-

Freddy: That's a relief...

Jason: No; though I'm concerned that they could very well make me the villain instead of my mother. I'm glad to be in another movie again though; especially one that isn't total crap like Jason X...

Sweeney: Really? Excuse me for a moment. -runs away screaming- AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spidey: Don't worry, he'll be back.

Sweeney: -runs past them travelling in the opposite direction- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Spidey: I'm sure he'll be thrilled when he's done freaking out. Next Question!

_**diamondkat12  
Sasuke: Actually it is. Thanks for noticing. -makes army of fangirls  
dissappear. laughs mischeviously- I always knew you had a phobia of fangirls.  
In exchange for not setting them on you, I want you to start planning to turn  
on Madara as soon as possible.  
Orochimaru: I want a pet snake. Will you give me a well trained nin-snake?  
Wishmaster: You think you're so smart, don't you? I wish you back into your  
crystal for all eternity. Escape that.  
**_

Sasuke: -nods- Yes ma'am.

Orochimaru: -grins- You wanna see my snake, eh? -grins mischeviously....then pulls out a snake- Here you go. -snake attacks Kat- Problem is, my nin-snakes are trained to kill anyone that isn't me.

Wishmaster: They tried that; it didn't work. I can choose not to grant wishes you know.

Spidey: Not to mention I want him to remain here so he can answer questions. Due to the outbreak of emo-glitch, I'm going to end the chapter here so I can post it on the day the glitch either dies, or I click refresh enough times to get my story up.

Freddy: Why?

Spidey: Cause the fans have waited long enough, and I'll be DAMNED if ANYTHING is going to stop me from delivering on another chapter! Hannibal, the threat of the day...

Hannibal: No point.

Spidey: Why?

Hannibal: need i remind you that the review window doesn't have a refresh icon, thus making them unable to simply click refrest until the window appears?

Spidey: Thats...a good point. But still, I expect reviews as soon as the glitch is gone.

Everyone: REVIEW...when you can.


	40. Spidey vs Spidey

Spidey: I'M BACK! WITH THE 40TH CHAPTER OF ASK THE HORROR ICONS! -dances- At the moment, I'm happy cause emo-glitch finally died! Seconds before posting the last chapter too! Anyway, in honor of the 40th chapter, and the death of emo-glitch, I've decided... to dance! -starts break dancing, and is actually pretty good at it thanks to his author powers- Ok, now that that's done... MORE DANCING! FREDDY! JASON! MICHAEL! HANNIBAL! NORMAN! CLARICE! SIDNEY! ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS INTRODUCED IN THE FIRST CHAPTER! LET THE RANDOM DANCING BEGIN!

-all the characters that were introduced in the first chapter start doing the "Hare Hare Yuki" "Carmendansen" and other random dances-

Spidey: -joins them- FIRST QUESTION!

_**Erin Nightshade  
Hannibal: Actually, I'm with Michael now. Sorry.  
Michael: *Hugs* I love you. *kisses*  
Freddy: I think it's awesome that you kill people in their sleep. I so  
worship the ground you walk on. I can never stop being a fan girl. I LOVE YOU!  
Anyway, what's the stupidest question anyone has every asked you?  
Pinhead: How did you enjoy Disney Land?  
Norman: Would you ever consider going to Disney Land?  
Jason: Never mind. Just keep beating the crap out of people who ** you off.  
Spidey: Have you ever thought of using shock collars as a way of keeping  
these guys in line?  
Michael: Could you be any hotter?  
Freddy: Still looking good. *bows down to Freddy***_

Hannibal: He can come too.

Michael: -goes to kiss back-

Spidey: -pulls out shotgun- NO MAKE OUT SESSIONS! I SEE ENOUGH H-STUFF AS IT IS WITH HANNIBAL AND CLARICE RUNNING INTO THE CLOSET EVERY TEN SECONDS!

Freddy: Ok. And I'm not sure; I've been asked some pretty stupid questions over the course of this story. I guess it would be that time someone asked if they could wear my hat for me while i was killing people so I don't get blood on it. I let them wear it though.

Pinhead: Disney land? Such trivial things are below me...-looks around, then whispers- It was awesome! I got to go see Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and that Duck Spidey hates for some reason and go on rollor coasters and puke on the people behind me and it was great! Of course, the haunted houses left much to be desired...where's the chains that rip you to pieces then put you back together? (Pinhead's opinion does not reflect Spidey's, as Spidey, sadly, hasn't been to disney land since he was too young to remember it)

Norman: Mom won't let me go... -changes personalities- You're damned right I wouldn't let you go! Did you see that Cinderella tramp, dressing all seductively like that; no way I'm letting you near her; she might seduce you away from me! And all those American girls in skimpy outfits aren't reassuring at all! Now go punish yourself for thinking such things! -returns to normal- Yes mother. -starts hitting himself with a newspaper-

Jason: -salutes- YES MA'AM! -notices horny teenage couple walking past him; pulls out his machete, and walks in their direction-

Spidey: Nah; Michael and Jason wouldn't be effected; Pinhead would enjoy it; and I have a trust deal with Hannibal, Sidney, and the rest. Oh, and I won't have to worry about Isaac for another year, since I'm just below the sacrificial age and he isn't quite confident enough in his abilities to try to kill the rest of the people here over the age of 19. Well, I DID use shock collars on some of the Uzumaki characters; but that was the best thing i could think of to keep them from inflicting harm on themselves.

Michael: -grins under mask- I don't know...-rips off shirt- Can I?

Freddy: Thank you; glad someone can appreciate my sexy good looks.

Spidey: -shakes head and sighs- Why does the undead sadist with horrendous burns covering his entire body gets all the girls? -facepalm- NEXT QUESTION!

_**FWEC  
Aw, I was expecting bigger freak out reactions from Ash and Freddy. to  
Freddy, nope and nope^^  
Anyway, go head give me those nightmares of a world without yaoi, I can  
survive the nights, and during the day I'll just be more motivated to write  
that FreddyxJason fic. Whoops, sorry, I meant JasonxFreddy, because you are  
t3h uke, Freddy.  
To Spidey, thanks for putting up with me annoying everyone and getting them  
riled up, now I just need to figure out how to go about this in an even worse  
way then possible...  
Oh by the way  
-pulls lever, causing Dtecno to fall through a trapdoor- I want to play a  
game...  
Damn you, you mad me lose.  
Anyway, I have my escape planned already. all I have to so is shout  
Candlejack and...  
**_

Freddy: Make me the uke and you get raped by Orochimaru and Jason every time you go to sleep. -evil laughter-

Spidey: It's alright...as long as it's the characters you're torturing, I'll be fine.

Jigsaw: You have five minutes before the oxygen is pumped out of the room. I have posted clues and items throughout the room that will allow you to escape. To get the first clue, you must read through the 50 SasuHina fics I have written down on the list and then successfully complete a quiz on them! -evil laughter-

CandleJack: -shows up with a bag full of children- Yo, jigs, what do you want me to do with the lastest batch of punks?

Jigsaw: Leave them in the "people that said your name" room.

Spidey: Good luck with that. Next Question!

_**lord maul160**_

Hey, this is Maul, but you already knew that.

Freddy: Hey Freddy, you know they say Chuck Norris is so tough, there's no  
chin under his beard. There is only another fist. I got a surprise for ya!  
CHUCK!  
chuck norris taps on freddy's shoulder, than punches him in the face with his  
hidden beard fist.

GhostFace: removes your mask,

Hannibal: So, when did your cannibalism start?

Orochimaru: Change into your girl form, it's much less creepy.

Wishmaster: Hi. I wish Spidey would get his ** kicked by the real Spider-man.  
Blacksuit version. XD

Jason: I saw your new movie, Friday rhe Thirteenth. You were very good. Btw,  
I hear Freddy went skinny dipping in your lake.

Spidey: Hi, can you add Joker? Heath Ledger version?  


Freddy: -dodges- Sorry Chuck, Maul kinda gave you away there.

Spidey: CHUCK NORRIS! OUT OF MY FANFIC! NOW!

Chuck: Make me! I'm Chuck Norris b1tch, I'll do what i want!

Spidey: Should I go get Squirrel Girl to throw you out?

Chuck: -look of absolute horror- NO! SHE SCARES ME! -jumps out a window-

Ghostface: -unmasked-

Ash: -exaggerated gasp- It's old man jenkens!

Ghostface: And i woulda gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling reviewers... and your dog.

Hannibal: When I ate that one guy's cheeks. See Hannibal Rising.

Orochimaru: But I like being creepy.

Wishmaster: Your wish is my command. -evil laughter-

Spidey: -glares at Wishmaster- You sonova...

Spider-man: -swings by and kicks Spidey, then starts beating the crap out of him-

Jason: Why thank you....WHAT?! -pulls out chainsaw- JASON GONNA KILL A BIZATCH! -walks off-

Spidey: -looks like he just got beaten to a pulp by his favorite super hero; glares at Shaderoth- You want the Joker? Fine; but it's no specific version. -teleports the Joker to Shaderoth's home- Have fun fearing for your life!

Joker: -grins at Shaderoth- Do you know how I got these scars? -pulls out knife-

Spidey: That's what you get for sending Spider-man after me. NEXT QUESTION!

_**view of the beautiful sea**_

_***is glomped* ahh! *flails***_

freddy: mhmm. your secret is totally safe with me. *shoves camera down shirt  
quickly*

jason: i'm going to go and see it. so i can make fun of it like i did with  
the michael myers remake.

michael myers: i hate you. learn to talk. get laid.

sweeney: but come back! she has your beautiful eyes! she loves the smell of  
blood! D: don't you want to name her?

hidan (because i said so): you look like draco malfoy.

Freddy: Did you just stuff something down your shirt...-reaches for her shirt-

Jason: Yay! -totally not upset by this- Weird that I'm in a remake of the first movie; I didn't even show up till the second one.

Michael: But I can talk...I just chose not to. And I have a girlfriend in this fic...multiple girlfriends, in fact.

Sweeney: NEVAH! -jumps out a window-

Spidey: -comforts Izuko- Don't worry, he'll be back when he's done freakin' out.

Hidan:...NO HE IS NOT MY ILLEGITIMATE SON! WHEREVER DID YOU GET THE IDEA THAT ME AND HIS MOTHER DID THINGS BEHIND LUCIOUS' BACK? LIES I SAY, LIES!!!

Spidey:...it explains SO much. NEXT QUESTION!

_**Skullblade  
Dracula: Sweet!  
Orochimaru: This is strangely satisfying...  
Ed: That was fun. -turns and looks for something else to kill.  
Sakura: ...Buffy's only gay sometimes. And NOTHING stops stalkers...  
Spidey: Same for me, actually. Expect at least a new ATN on my birthday  
though.  
Earl: ...Crap. -stabbed multiple times-  
Skullblade: I would, but only because it seems like a good hiding spot.  
Ed: I've always wanted to fight a manifestation of evil! -pulls out a boat-  
Ryumura: -jumps in the closet at locks it behind him-  
**_

Dracula: Indeed it is.

Orochimaru:...and I thought _I_ had problems.

Jason: -gets up- Can I come? -puppy-dog-eyes- I've never had a friend before...-hugs Ed-

Sakura: And those times are HAWT! Not that I'm gay or anything...then again, you were female when I started dating you.

Spidey: YAYNESS! Wait... I don't know when your birthday is. Hmm, didn't realize that before. Is it close? SAI! QUICKLY! FINISH THE PAINTING!

Sai:...ok. -continues working on a masterpiece in perverted fanart-

Gomez: A vampire? AWESOME! -continues stabbing-

Spidey: True...but it would probably be a last resort even then.

Cthultlu: Please, leave me alone while I'm taking a shower; or I'll press sexual harrassment charges. I'll dismember you after I'm done. -continues dancing and singing in the shower- _My milkshake maker brings the cultists to the yard; their life, is soon over! I could teach you, but I'd have to charge..._

Spidey: -sighs- That closet is the other space/time vortex...-Ryumaru falls to the ground from above right next to Enaku- The shelter is over here! -jumps into the shelter- And this time, it's EVERYTHING-proof! Even Alucard couldn't get in here! BTW, I'm going to add him once I'm up-to-date on the Hellsing OVAs. NEXT QUESTION!

_**DtecnoKira  
-Holds up tray of muffins-  
Who wants the yummy chocolate muffins?  
(They're made with yummy chocolax)  
Dear Mr. Freddy, whats the biggest nightmare you had when you were little?**_

SD: Are they spiral muffins? -twitches-

Norman: -takes a muffin and eats it- These are really good...

Spidey: must...resist...urge....to...eat...muffins...-knows better than to eat anything Dtecno baked-

Freddy: Nighmare as a kid? My LIFE was a nightmare as a kid. Dreams were my only escape... well, that and torturing small animals.

Spidey: Yeah yeah, whatever Freddy; we all know your life was screwed up! They didn't have to make that whole craptacular scene in Freddy's dead to tell us that much. NEXT QUESTION!

_**Velonica  
I love ask fics. They're so funny!  
Anyway I haven't seen much of Evil Dead but I was at a friend's house once,  
and it looked cool. Ash was so awesome!  
-Holds up a notebook-  
Ash, Spidey, can I have your autographs PLEASE?  
you two are awesome!  
**_

Ash: Of course you can! -gives her an autographed chainsaw-

Spidey: I'd be happy to! SAI! THE FANART! -signs some of Sai's fanart, and hands it to Velonica- Hope you like it! NEXT QUESTION!

_**Zell Dincht ()**_

yo Freddy u think i could kick ur **?

Freddy: No. I'd just cut you to pieces.

Spidey: Is it really too much to ask that you write out "you" and "Your"? Next question!

_**diamondkat12**_

Sasuke: Hinata confessed her love to Naruto. You have to hurry to him and  
confess your love for him before she snatches him away from you forever.  
Orochimaru: -levitates snake then burns it to ashes mid-air- Such weak  
attacks have no effect on me. Besides, I know you can give me one that won't  
attack. You did it for Sasuke, didn't you?  
Wishmaster: I hate you so much right now. I wish you were stripped of all  
your powers. Nothing can hurt more than going from extremely powerful to  
powerless.  


Sasuke:...who the hell is Hinata?

Orochimaru: FLUFFY! NOOOOOOOOOO! -morns the death of the snake- He was just saying hi....

Wishmaster: Damn it...-loses his powers-

Spidey: Odd that they never thought of that in the movies...well, that wraps up this chapter. I guess today, I shall end the chapter by...OOF! -gets kicked by Spider-man-

Spider-man: Review, or I'll stop randomly kicking Spidey. -swings away-


	41. Who ya gonna call?

Spidey: I'm back, with another update! And to celebrate the return of my computer, I'm going to be introducing new characters! Introducing....THE GHOSTBUSTERS!

-the Ghostbuster's run through the entrance, accompanied by their theme music-

Egon: I heard there was a ghost in the area....

Spidey: Yeah, all sorts of them, but that's not why I brought you here....WELCOME TO MY ASK FIC! -evil laughter- Also, introducing....Slimer, Vigo, and Gozer!

-the three ghosts appear...Vigo and Gozer start fighting to the death over who gets to take over/destroy the world-

Spidey: -eats popcorn- This is gonna be good...FIRST QUESTION!

_**GuesssWho  
Ever read Sandman? cuz you so need the Corinthian to guest.  
**_

Spidey: Unfortunately, no, though I've heard good things about it. At the moment, I don't have money for comic books, even awesome, award winning ones. But try checking out "Ask the Ninjas", by Skullblade. Last i checked, he had all the Sandman characters. Next Question!

_**Velonica  
Damn it plan failed...looks like you knew better than to touch the yaoi note,  
but it looks like I'll just have to be even sneakier, oh but, escaping that  
room was simple enough. I just had to call Namahagetecno for help.  
Wait...  
gives her an autographed chainsaw-  
gives HER an autographed chainsaw-?  
Someone is so dead, you better have ust said that because you figured out who  
I am...  
Gah I declare total war...  
-Starts writing Freddy and Jason's names in the yaoi note-  
Have fun being t3h uke, Freddy!  
Also, Spiderman, be nice or else...never mind.  
-Writes down Neko!Bruce WaynexNeko!Peter Parker-  
Hm to Dung Beetle, why do you enjoy torturing the kids so much?  
Well, I'm done for now, see ya later Spidey...oh wait  
I almost forgot  
To Ash, Spidey, and Jason, congrats to kicking it off in the harem rp thread**_

Spidey: of course I know who you are, Susy!

Freddy: -runs acrossed a field of flowers towards Jason-

Jason: -runs acrossed field of flowers towards freddy-

Spidey: OH GOD MY EYES! -eyes bleed-

Spiderman: -swung through the closet into another fic before his name was written-

Spidey: Thanks! NEXT QUESTION!

_**Erin Nightshade**_

**Michael: *Kisses Back* Wow...you're more hotter than half the guys I've ever  
liked. And you're also the best slasher-killer ever! *sits on Michael's lap*  
You're the best! I loves you A LOT!**

**Spidey: I give you powers so nobody can kick your butt. Because you rock! And  
you're one of my fave authors! *gives Spidey some mystical powers***

**Pinhead: You're the master of pain, suffering and torture. What is your  
favorite way to torture someone?**

**Freddy: You're completely smokin' hot. Why does everyone give you such crap?  
I think it's because they're jealous of your talent, hotness, more  
hotness...oh and your cuteness!**

**Norman: You should take up baking classes. Ask Hannibal to show you how to  
cook.**

**Spidey: o...so...Isaac won't be showing up for another year? Damn. Well...I  
can't wait for that!**

Michael: I know I am...wanna have a threesome with my other girlfriend?

Spidey: Yay! Mystical powers! Lets see Spider-man try to hurt me no...

Spider-man: -swings in, kicks Spidey, beats him up again, then swings back into the closet-

Pinhead: Well I (censored due to blood and gore levels too high even for most slaasher movies) and the best part is the victim stays alive the whole time but is in excrutiating pain and noone would possibly recognize them. And all it requires is a simple toothpick and some dental floss...

Freddy: They can't handle teh hotness that is me! -strikes pose-

Norman: Ok. -goes to talk to Hannibal, then comes back- Wow, he's not only gonna teach me to cook, but he's gonna teach me his secret body disposal technique as well! Cool!

Spidey: I said that? -confused- Next Question!

**_and you fall_**

**_(yet again...i've changed it. this is view of the beautiful sea)_**

**_freddy: *innocent expression* what? no. this...lump? it's really just a  
tumor, i swear._**

**_jason: I KNOW. people are so stupid. i heard that they're remaking a  
nightmare on elm street as well._**

**_michael: i don't care! you ** me off with your masks! you are a disgrace to  
serial killers! albert fish is way better than you! D:_**

**_sweeney todd: but...SHE HAS YELLOW HAIR. D:_**

**_hidan: jesus. calm the ** down. you're such a **._**

**_Freddy: I think I'm going to need to do a pat down. -perverted grin-_**

**_Jason: Cool! I wonder if they'll give a Wes Craven-friendly depiction of him..._**

**_Michael: -shrugs- I don't go after my family because I want people to love me._**

**_Sweeney: Spidey still hasn't seen the movie, or the play, or any other media of me!_**

**_Hidan: Um...just kidding?_**

**_Spidey: I think it's too late for that. Next Question!_**

**_Skullblade  
Dracula: MWAHAHAHAHA!  
Orochimaru: Shut up, you.  
Ed: ...Fine.  
Sakura: ...Spidey, how did you remember that?  
Spidey: Awhile ago.  
Sai: -holding breath-  
Earl: You betrayed me, Skull!  
Spidey: You underestimate me.  
Cthultlu: I've found a book series with a more powerful being than you!  
-throws Death at him-  
Death: THIS IS MOST UNUSUAL.  
Ryumura: Um... FLEE!  
Death: -looks at Ryumura- I KNOW YOU...  
_**

**_Dracula: You have your mother's evil laugh..._**

**_Orochimaru: You shut up. I'm the goddamned Snakeman, and I'll say what I want!_**

**_Jason: YAY! -glomps Ed- You're my new best friend!_**

**_Sakura: Spidey has good memory..._**

**_Spidey: Not when I typed that it wasn't..._**

**_Sai: -unveils a massive fanart involving all of Skulls favorite female characters (or at least, all the attractive ones) in a massive orgy- Enjoy._**

**_Spidey: I did? To be honest, I don't even remember what we were talking about. -looking at hot YoroSoi pron-_**

**_Cthultlu: -thinks quickly- Marvel-verse Death thinks she's hotter than you! And cooler. You should go kill that b1tch..._**

**_Spidey: judging by the circumstances, and Ryumaru's distance from Enaku, you're going to get to know him alot better soon. Next Question!_**

**_diamondkat12  
Sasuke: Hinata Hyuuga, the stalker girl. She used to spy on Naruto while you were still teammates. That isn't important. What is important is that someone is trying to steal your Naruto so you have to go and claim him before anyone else can.  
Orochimaru: Poor Fluffy. Who would name a snake 'Fluffy' anyway?! Give me apet snake, preferably a black mamba and make sure it doesn't try to attack me or else I'll put in a world where Sasuke kicks your ** for all eternity.  
Wishmaster: -does random victory dance- Take that Mr. I can grant wishes in a twisted way. The worst part is without your powers you can't even grant a wish to restore your powers except Spidey chooses to use his author powers to grant you back your powers.  
_**

**_Sasuke: And I should care...why? If Naruto has a girlfriend, maybe he won't constantly try to bring me back so much._**

**_Orochimaru: Why not name a snake fluffy? -gives her a black mamba- She won't attack you as long as you keep her well fed and don't pick her up when she's trying to sleep._**

**_Wishmaster: Meh, only during your reviews._**

**_Spidey: -nods- Him twisting wishes is kind of a running gag. NEXT QUESTION!_**

**_Darius Creed  
Hello family,friends,pschyos,heros,villains and chosen ones I'm sort a new to  
fanfiction and this is my first review ever so don't hate me for my grammer  
and spelling.  
Spidey: I didn't like how black-suited Spiderman beat you up and so since  
were now the best of best buds ever I will go over to the web-heads house and  
have a little "chat" with him "Ha Ha Ha." evil laugh than leaves.  
_**

**_Spidey: You go do that. This has to sto..._**

**_Spider-man: -comes out of nowhere and shoots webs in Spidey's face, then swings away- THAT'S FOR DEPICTING ME AS SOME KIND OF WEIRD BULLY FOR A RUNNING GAG! -swings away-_**

Spidey: -pulls webs off his face- Well, that wraps up this chapter...

Vigo: Review...or Vigo will destroy you!


	42. Halloween Chapter

Spidey: I'm back...with a Halloween chapter! Unfortunately, hordes of zombies seem to have somehow gotten into the base...and that's not counting the ones that were already in the fic...-pauses to give audience time to laugh at hilarious joke-

-crickets chirping-

Zombies: -fall silent for a second at just how stupid the joke was, then continue moaning, crying for brains, and wandering around the space statio...er...secret basein search o brains, flesh, or whatever their particular type of zombie eats-

Spidey: -sighs- Anyway, no need to worry, as I've taken the liberty of sealing myself and all the important characters in the panic room of the ship, with a large amount of food and water. And made sure that none of the human-ish characters were infected.

Sidney: Hey, where's Norman?

Spidey: The hell if I know; he was with us till he suddenly started talking like an old lady and ran off, and I'm not going out there looking for him when there's three kinds of zombie out there! Besides, I said the IMPORTANT people, and nobody asks him anything anyway. -randomly turns to the audience and changes tone- Oh, and I just thought, for expositionary reasons, I should tell you the three kinds of zombies out there are Romero's zombies, Return of the Living Dead Zombies, and T-virus zombies.

Ash: So...in short, we're surrounded by various undead things; some of which are slow and can be taken down with a significant blow to the head; some of which are going to mutate into much scarier things; and some of which we're gonna need to somehow electrocution is the only sure way to keep them from getting up without releasing trioxin into the air.

Spidey: Yup.

Ash: And they outnumber us by... alot.

Spidey: That's pretty accurate, yeah.

Ash: And we're trapped in a room with limited food and water.

Spidey: You have such skill at stating the obvious...

Ash: -grins, and revvs chainsaw- Sounds like good odds to me! Now THIS is how you do a halloween chapter! Lets open the door so we can kick some zombie ass and get out of here!

Spidey: Um...I don't think that's a good idea, considering they'll probably overwhelm us and eat our brains...

Ash: Puh-lease, are you forgetting who happens to be in this fic? I alone will probably kill several hundred of them, so lets open the door already so I can get some action in already!

Spidey: No. I'm not suicidal, and would like to keep my flesh and my brains, thanks.

Ash: Who said you get what you want? I'm the one with the gun, who happens to be standing right next to the door opening button! -points to said button-

Spidey: DOH! -facepalms-

Hannibal: -turns to Ash- While I admire your enthusiasm...perhapse we should answer some questions before attempting to suicidally fight our way through hordes of zombies? Afterall, this is still an ask fic, and I'm sure people are patiently awaiting their answers.

Ash:...that's a good point. -steps away from the door switch-

Spidey: -sighs with relief- Anyway, FIRST QUESTION!!!

_**DtecnoKira**_

Yo Spidey, too much bold...blinding  
Hey do me a favor...ask Skull-sama what version of Death he was using...one  
that talks all in capitals huh? How interesting...I wonder..if it's who I  
think it is then Skull-sama just became like, fifteen times more awesome...of  
course, even if it isn't, Skull-sama is still awesome.  
oh well on to questions.  
To Spidey-do you have a facebook account? Want to be friends?  
-Nama appears-  
Nama: of course Spidey doesn't want to be friends with you.  
But? Fine, next question...uh I think I'm out, oh wait.  
-Grabs Geass Note and writes down a few words.-  
Some strippers should be visiting soon, don't worry they're all females, and  
they should be attractive.  
Um uh wha?  
I need to keep a list of questions to ask you...  
And your friends.  
Hey Spidey, wait for me okay? I'll be back later, see ya!  
-Skips away-  
-And runs back-  
Have you seen Power Rangers RPM? IT ROCKS!  
-Skips away again-  


Spidey: Sorry your brain can't handle the awesomeness of bold text! Also, ask Skull yourself. Unfortunately, I don't have a facebook. I have a livejournal, but have most likely forgotten the password. Oh, and thanks for the strippers! And no, I haven't seen it; I haven't watched that show since the 90s. NEXT QUESTION!

_**and you fall**_

freddy: if you do that, my fist will be in your crotch. *sweet smile*

jason: that's not cool! i heard miley cyrus will play nancy! D:

michael: albert bathed in the blood of african american children. did you do  
that? D:

sweeney: oh. well. i love you.

hidan: no i don't care go away you **. D:  


Freddy: Sounds kinky.

Jason:...-draws machete and walks off rather quickly...then comes back- Do you happen to know Miley Cyrus' home, address and social security number?

Michael: I bathe in the blood of pretty much anyone that I happen to run into on my way to kill my family members; cause unlike Albert, I don't bother giving preferencial treatment to anyone, just because of race...the only people that get that is my family members.

Sweeney: (Insert something Sweeney Todd would say here)

Hidan: -teary puppy-dog-eyes-

Spidey:...that's the cutest, most disturbing thing I've ever seen. NEXT QUESTION!

_**the new divide  
sidney why are all the evil dudes in scream masks after you  
what makes you so special  
jason why do you kill people in interesting ways like using one person in a  
sleeping to kill another person in a sleeping bag  
freddy who would win in a fight between you micheal jason ash and  
leatherface  
micheal who would win in a fight you or the zombies from night of the living  
dead  
**_

Sidney: The hell if I know. My guess is most of them are pathetic copycat killers that can't even think up their own modus operandi, and don't like me very much.

Jason: Because I wanna make a STATEMENT! It's just how I express myself.

Freddy: I would of course....oh shi...-gets tackled by Jason, Ash, and Leatherface-

Michael: I won't answer that question. Answering Vs questions around here is about as safe as claiming to be invincible.

Spidey: Damn, when did he get so genre savvy? NEXT QUESTION!

_**diamondkat12 **_

_**Spidey: I don't have much time and probably won't be reviewing again for some  
time so here is a gift. - hands him a gift wrapped box- He's a doll named  
Chuck or at least that what he told me. He enjoys playing tag and transfer the  
soul. Take good care of him for me.  
**_

Spidey: Yay! Chucky will be thrilled to have another possessed doll on the set... or did I forget to put him in the fic, thus making this Chucky? Either way, he hasn't been getting alot of questions...NEXT QUESTION!

_**Renegade**_

It's funny, i like it but i really do have a question for Ash, What are those  
3 magic words spoken in Evil Dead: Army of Darkness  


Ash: Klatuu Verata....um...nickle? Nicktu? Well, I didn't get every tiny little sylable, but basically that was them...why do you ask?

Spidey: It's a wonder he doesn't write those words down...or look them up on Wikipedia. NEXT QUESTION!

-crickets-

Spidey: We're out of reviews, aren't we?

Ash: Yep! -presses button, causing door to open, letting the zombies in- CHAINSAW TIME! -runs into zombie hordes with chainsaw-

Spidey: OMIGOD I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE ZOMBIE CHOW!

Jason: -currently trying to shake off several zombies-

Michael: -stabs a zombie in the head, before getting attacked by three more-

Hannibal: -holds Clarice to him as Zombies close in-

Sidney: -cornered by zombies, whom she's fighting off with a taser-

Spidey: No! -swings keyboard wildly at advancing zombies- I'm not your food! -swings again- I WON'T BE EATEN!!!! -disappears beneath zombie hordes-

(Forumn Broadcast System: Due to technical difficulties involving zombies, violence, gore, brains, and author unavailability, this chapter cannot be continued. we appologize for the inconvenience, and hope you will continue to review the story.)


	43. Please Open Before Christmas

Spidey: I'm back...-standing over the remains of various zombies-...and still alive, apparently. Heh, silly me, I guess I kinda sorta forgot that Carrie, Pinhead, and Cthuhlu were in this fic, to name a few characters who would easily rip thousands of zombies to pieces with ease...

Ash: Why the hell else would I have let the zombies in? -severed arm grabs his leg- Hey, hands off! -uses shotgun to magically turn severed arm into a bloody mess-

Spidey: Well, I guess that wraps everything up rather nicely...

Hannibal: Except how all those zombies even got here, considering we're in spa...

Spidey: -clears throat-

Hannibal: In a secret, highly isolated location; with no large population of people close enough to reach us should they, say, turn into zombies.

Spidey: Meh... must have been a Halloween special...zombies ALWAYS find a way to appear in Halloween specials....

Bob The zombie: -walks in, groaning-

Spidey: AH! ZOMBIE! KILL IT!

Bob: -looks at Spidey, almost intelligently-

Sidney: Wait...isn't that the zombie from Day of the Dead? The one that they trained to think and stuff?

Spidey: Yes, now kill it!

Bob: -gives puppy-dog eyes-

Pugsley: Can we keep him? Please? I've always wanted a pet zombie.

Spidey: Fine!

-teenage girl with various pointy metal things sticking out of her walks in-

Girl: Excuse me, may I stay here?

Spidey: Sure...who are you again?

Girl: Call me...Julie.

Spidey: Hey, you look familiar, like I've seen you before in some zombie movie...meh, probably just my imagination.

Julie: Probably...I'm hungry.

Spidey: You can eat later. Anyway, FIRST QUESTION!

_****_

Erin Nightshade  


_**Spidey: HAHA...this was funny. __ I'm lazy!  
**_

_**Question For All Horror People: Who do you find so ANNOYING that you just WANT TO KILL THEM?**_

Michael: I still love you. And I laugh my ** off when you kill those people  
who have no idea they're about to die. And if those people give you crap cause you're hotter than them...call me! I'll kick their butts for you! *snuggles&gives you my bag of Halloween candy* 3

Jason: You are just too awesome for words!

Freddy: Which of your fellow horror movie icons would you bet on to win or  
lose in a fight?

Spidey: What did you think of the horror movies that have come out this year? And what two Horror movie Icons would you like to see star in a movie together?  


Spidey:...All the horror people you say? -twitches- Damn it, I don't even remember whose in this anymore...

Michael: My family.

Jason: Those damned teenagers that keep having sex on my property...And Freddy.

Freddy: That b1tch daughter of mine...and Jason.

Pinhead: Nobody annoys me all that much; desire summons me.

Cthulu: Those damned tiny squishy things that can't even pronounce my name...what are they called...oh yeah, 'Humanity'...

Hannibal: Bastards, in general, tend to incite my wrath....but I should not complain; they are quite delicious.

Ash: Deadites...those it's not as much killing them as putting those poor people they possess out of their misery.

Julie's head: People that won't give. me. their. BRAINS!!!

Sidney: People that dress in ghostface masks and try to stab me.

Spidey: People who ask me to give answers for "everyone"...-twitch-

Michael: Ok, but by the time you get there, they'll probably be dead.

Jason: If you say so.

Freddy: -devious grin- I bet Jason....would beat Pinhead! -waits for Jason to get dragged away-

Pinhead: -drags Freddy away instead- Quit putting me in "who would win?" fights. I'm not a fighter; I merely make dreams come true...along with nightmares.

Spidey: To be honest, I haven't seen most of them, though Jennifer's body looks entertaining. And I would like to see Ash and Pinhead in a movie together...but Pinhead would have to be in character, and have the same motives he had in the first two movies; not the card-carrying villain he later became. Oh, and the giant killer bunny rabbits from "Night of the Lepus" would have to be in it too... NEXT QUESTION!

_**lord maul160  
I noticed you guys didn't put in my question, recently.**_

Freddy: How long do you think you would last against IT? AKA Pennywise the  
clown?

Jason: Hey Jason, I dare you to switch masks with Michael.

Zombies: .points at Spidey30. Lots of brains over there!

Wishmaster: Is it possible for you to grant your own wishes?  


Spidey: I thought there were reviews missing when I looked at the chapter before I submitted it...specifically, reviews I remembered replying to. However, when I checked the story reviews page, there weren't any reviews there that weren't in the story. No idea what could have happened.

Freddy: I'm not answering that; nothing good ever comes of answering vs questions.

Jason: Ok. -walks towards Michael...comes back with knife sticking out of his head- He doesn't like the idea.

Spidey: Ha! Bob's the only zombie here, and I'm going to keep him supplied with meat so he doesn't eat me! -throws Bob a steak-

Bob: -jumps into the air and catches steak with teeth-

Julie:...nah, I just ate.

Wishmaster: What do you think?

Spidey: NEXT QUESTION!

_**BoogiepopShippuden  
Hm chapter 42...where are the Hitchiker jokes?  
Or am I justnot paying enought attention?  
**_

Spidey: They mysteriously disappeared, along with at least one review. Yes, it was there before...NO I AM NOT CRAZY! NEXT QUESTION!

_**BoogiepopShippuden  
LMAO  
Aw too bad it was so short  
Hm I hope those strippers aren't going to be infected by whatever zombie  
virus is going around  
I mean, they'd still strip for you because of the Geass note  
**_

Spidey: Don't worry, I kept them away from the zombies...had to boot some people out of the room, but I made room for the strippers...and did you have to review BOTH stories with the same penname? NEXT QUESTION!

_**Skullblade  
Dracula: ...Do you know anyone by the name of Belmont? Cause this guy says  
you're old friends. -pulls out Simon Belmont-  
Orochimaru: Aren't you dead now?  
Ed: This glomp is nothing compared to that one the Chupacabra gave me.  
Sakura: Hold on, I've got a picture of me back then in my wallet... Wow, I  
was hotter than I remembered...  
Spidey: And if Livejournal is to be believed, happy birthday!  
Sai: -propelled into ceiling-  
Earl: -now full of holes-  
Spidey: I don't remember either.  
Death: AND MARVEL-VERSE DEATH CAN HAVE THAT TITLE. I'M... NOT QUITE MALE, BUT  
MASCULINE.  
Cthulu: Now that I think of it, Sandman Death is more powerful than you too.  
However, I wouldn't throw her at anyone! She's mine! -glances at long line of  
everyone who has ever died contesting my claim- Buzz off, I'm still alive! I  
have more chance than you!  
Ryumura: -stabs himself in the face so he can substitute away-  
Spidey: DID SOMEONE SAY ZOMBIES! -bursts in dressed in Ghostbusters Gear-  
...Hold on, wrong outfit. -leaves, bursts in dressed in HEV Suit with a  
crowbar- ...Nope, while cooler, still not right. -leaves, bursts in wearing a  
red shirt- ... screw it, I'm just stealing the Portal Gun. -runs off to  
Aperture Labs, jumps back in through orange portal- There will be cake!  
**_

Dracula: We've met before. -drinks wine, then throws glass down dramatically-

Orochimaru: No; but close enough.

Jason: You've met the Cupachabra?

Sakura: I don't remember you being hot...

Spidey: Thank you!

Sai: -looks at Skull confused- Is something wrong?

Spidey: Hmm...wanna go not spy on Hana in the shower again? -turns to Death- So far, you've been in every Discworld novel that I've read.

Cthulhlu: Oh yeah...well... -throws Tom Bombadil at Death-

Death: I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN VERY SOON.

Spidey: Actually, the zombies are all....CAKE? WHERE? NEXT QUESTION!

_**LuvIsAThing  
Oh hey one more thing.  
Spidey: Why isn't Blackheart in the story? *sobs* He is my favourite besides  
Michael. *hugs Michael* And it is ok to have stuffed animals. I have one too.  
Freddy: My friend alex said u suck and she will kick ur butt.  
Jason: Why isn't ur mom in the story? i want to ask her stuff too...  
**_

Spidey: Cause I don't know crap about his character?

Michael: Yeah! It's totally manly to have a stuffed unicorn named Rainbow Flower! Anyone who disagrees usually ends up with stab wounds.

Freddy: Yeah? Bring it on. Hows tonight, sometime around 12:00 sound? No need to give a location, I'll find her easy, if she doesn't wuss out, and OD on caffine and Hypnosil before I beat her senseless.

Jason: She is. I think. To be honest, I'm not even sure Spidey remembers who is and isn't in the story anymore.

Spidey: Um....-tries to remember whether he brought her in or not- Er... Abracashesinthestorynow. -Jason's mom is now officially in the story... or was already in- NEXT QUESTION!

_**LuvIsAThing  
To all Killers: Why do you kill? (wow i'm really suprised that noone has  
asked that yet)  
Michael: Are you tired of sequels?  
Freddy: Why do you go after the girl that will obviously kill you?  
Jason: do u have any family besides ur mom?:(  
Michael: why do u go after ur family? why not ignore the curse and kick  
Thorn's butt?  
Freddy: why do u scream like a girl? (my worst enemy Alex said it, not me)  
**_

Spidey: -falls to his knees, laughing insanely- SO MANY KILLERS, SO MANY KILLERS!!!

Sidney: -sighs- Sorry about that; he seems to go through temporary insanity when someone addresses their question to "all" of anyone in this fic.

Ash: Self-defense.

Norman: Mother kills. I don't know why she kills, but she does.

Cthulhlu: Those annoying, yet tasty little primate things need death.

Hannibal: Because I'm a humanitarian of course.

Sidney: And that's all the time we had for that one question. Moving on!

Michael: -breaks down crying- YES! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST STOP BRINGING ME BACK FROM THE DEAD?!

Freddy: Preemptive measures of course. Dead things can't kill you...wait....scratch that. Dead things can't kill me. Dead things can DEFINATELY kill you.

Jason: Not that I know of.

Michael: What curse? Kick whose butt?

Spidey's Lawyer: -clears throat- Ask the Horror Icons does not in anyway support any Halloween film beyond the second movie, unless in such a case as it would be hilarious. That is all.

Freddy: I don't scream. My victims do. And I'll be seeing how Alex screams soon enough, won't I? Can't wait for 12:00. Don't stay awake!

Spidey: -has recovered from his temporary insanity- Wait, didn't I already answer your review? Wait... this review is for the Halloween Chapter...LAST YEARS Halloween Chapter. The other one is from this year...will I have to wait another year for you to review again? Anyway, I think it's best that we end the chapter here.

Hannibal: Don't you think you should...edit this chapter a bit more before you post it?

Spidey: Why? 

Hannibal: Well, since you no doubt intended to post this chapter earlier, and since a certain Holiday is coming up, one that you didn't post a special for last year.

Spidey: -looks at Calendar- Ah, Christmas special you mean? Ha ha, no. That is, I think I'll post this chapter, and if I get enough reviews in the next two days, Christmas Chapter. And...um...I guess Santa will be joining us next chapter, so feel free to ask him questions? I'm not really feeling up to a last minute Christmas special make over, so we'll see.

Sidney: Wait, Santa? Hasn't this fic decayed enough from it's original purpose? I don't see what Santa has to do with horror...

Spidey: Yeah, what's scary about Santa? He sees you when your sleeping, he knows when you're awake; he knows if you've been bad or good and can easily get into your house without being noticed. Nothing scary about that.

Hannibal: Point taken.

Spidey: So...um...Good bye everybody, and Merry Christmas I guess.


	44. It's still December of 2009, right?

Spidey: I'm back with a chapter! It's been so long since the last chapter; we've gone from being too late for a Christmas chapter to being too early for one. But ya know what? FUCK IT! WE'RE HAVING ONE ANYWAY! KIDNAPPING SANTA WASN'T EASY YOU KNOW! -points to Santa, whose currently tied up in the corner-

Santa: Let me go! I need to be getting ready for Christmas!

Spidey: IT'S FRICKING OCTOBER! YOU SHOULDN'T BE SHOWING YOUR FAT ASS TILL NOVEMBER AT THE EARLIEST! OCTOBER AND SEPTEMBER ARE HALLOWEEN TERRITORY! -clears throat- Anyway, you may be wondering why I don't just wait till Christmas to bring Santa out of his cell, and focus on the Halloween special now. Well, you see, there aren't going to be anymore chapters after the halloween special. -disproportionately dramatic music- Yeah, I'm sick of writing it, and judging from what I've been seeing, you're sick of reviewing it.

Freddy: So...two more chapters, and we're free?

Spidey: Yes. I guess you could say that.

Freddy: HALLELUJAH! AFTER-PARTY AT MY PLACE, EVERYONE WELCOME...except you Jason. You're not invited.

Jason: -walks off dejectedly-

Spidey: Anyway, the Halloween chapter might not even happen, if I don't get three reviews, two of which can't be from Dtenco, or any of his alt accounts. Though he can post as many times as he wants. Otherwise, no Halloween chapter for you. Though honestly, who else even reads this anyway? Start the chapter or something.

Sidney: You forgot something...

Spidey: What did I forget...oh, yes. -waves hand half heartedly- First question.

_**Beloved Morning Star**_

_**To all the Horror Icons: Who, besides yourself, is your favorite horror movie character.**_

To Chthulhu: What do you think of the stuffed animals in your likeness.

To Spidey: Have you ever fallen in love?

To Rainbowflower: What do you look like? I can't exactly see you at the moment.

To Ash: What did you get Jack for Christmas?

To Spidey: Is this Special going well? Oh wait, dam alerts are down so you probably won't get this until after you writ the special.

Spidey: ?

Shuichi's Dad: Pinhead. He could twist people into spiiiiiiiiiiiraaaaaaaals without killing them if he wanted to.

Wishmaster: Pinhead. I love his modus operandi.

Isaac: Damien, from the Omen.

Nyarlathotep: Any character that embraces the joys of madness and seeks to spread it to others is alright with me.

Cthulhu: Humans make the most ridiculous things. -looks around, and whispers- Where can I purchase thousands of said things?

Spidey: Yes, yes I have.

Rainbow Flower: ...

Ash: I gave him a chainsaw.

Spidey: Well, besides being both too late and too early, it's going GREAT! I doubt the Halloween special will do very well though. Next question.

_**Dtecnokira**_

_**So, Spidey, you watch a lot of horror movies. Surely you must have grown attached to some of the victims. Any victims you wish could have been saved.**_

Eh sorry this review is so short, I can't focus right now.

Spidey: The Priest from Braindead. -sniffs- He kicked ass for the Lord. Next question.

_**diamondkat12**_

_**It's been quite a while since I reviewed. In my absence, I discovered a new manga called Kuroshitsuji. I am still negotiating with Ciel to lend me his demon butler.**_

Sasuke: Congratulations on finally becoming a psychopath. I always knew you had it in you.

Wishmaster: I've found someone better at granting desires than you. He will eat your soul as payment but at least you get what you paid for.

Hannibal: I desire to eat my roommate's liver. How do I go about achieving my desire?

Spidey: Good to see you're still kickin', Kat!

Sasuke: Thank you. -kills random people- I AM NOW A TRUE UCHIHA!

Wishmaster: Fine then. Go. I'll grant someone else's desires. See if I care.

Hannibal: Kill then and cut their liver out? Or, if you want them to be alive while you remove it, you could drug them first. As for the liver itself, I know dozens of recipes for preparing liver...

Spidey: Who says this fic isn't educational? Next question!

-crickets chirp-

Spidey: Well, guess that's it then. I hope you've enjoyed the long-delayed Ask The Horror Icons 2009 Christmas special. I may or may not see you on Halloween. If not, it's been a good...however many years I've been writing this, and I wish anyone who still reads this luck and happiness. End the chapter.

Sidney: Ok. -presses button that causes the chapter to magically end-


	45. Thanks Everyone! Here's Your Closure!

Spidey: I'm back, with the finale! FIRST QUESTION!

_**Erin Nightshade**_

I FORGOT TO COMMENT LAST TIME! DX *sits in shame box*

Okay, to all Horror Movie Icons, what will you do after being let free back  
into the world?

Spidey: what was your favorite part about writing this fic?

Freddy: Can I come to your party?

Micheal: Your still my favorite! *hugs*

Note to Spidey: You did a great job & I DID enjoy reading this! I've fallen  
over laughing many times. Good job! *hugs*

Spidey: Good to see someone's back for the finale. I don't even mind that you asked a question addressed to everyone.

Chucky: Kill that damned Andy kid.

Freddy: PAAAAAAARTAY!

Jason: Crash Freddy's party, then kill him.

Shuichi's Dad: Continue to make spiiiiiiiiiiiiiraaaaaaaaaals.

Sidney: Sit back, relax, and enjoy life...and kick the ass of any goddamned masked killers I run into.

Cthulhu: Raise the sea and drown all of humanity that dares stand against me.

Michael: Um...kill lots of people? Also, I'm going to get rid of this damned stuffed unicorn; I've had it too long. -gives Rainbow Flower to Jason- I'm too old for it. Bye bye, Rainbow Flower.

Spidey: All the awesome reviews I've gotten over the years, and the wonderful people writing them. I'm going to miss that.

Freddy: Of course you can.

Michael: -is hugged- Thanks. I'll miss you when I'm killing random people.

Spidey: Thanks. I enjoyed answering your reviews. NEXT QUESTION!

_**diamondkat12**_

Sasuke: I'm so proud. You are now deserving of being a horror icon.

Wishmaster: Is that jealousy I sense? -mocking laughter-

Hannibal: Please, email me the recipe so I can get started on eating my very  
first person.

Spidey: I'm really going to miss this ask fic when you stop. Its been great.  


Sasuke: I WILL NOW REVIVE THE UCHIHA CLAN BY KILLING LOTS OF PEOPLE!

Wishmaster: No! I'm not jealous. There are dozens of people I can screw ov...er...help out by granting wishes. I'm not jealous at all.

Hannibal: I shall! As soon as I figure out this new-fangled email thing.

Spidey: Thanks. I'm going to miss writing it. NEXT QUESTION!

**DtecnoKira**

To everyone, and don't ** about not remembering who is in this, I made you  
that list

Scariest prank you can think of

favorite candy

who would you like to see covered in chocolate

who would you like to see lick that chocolate covered person

Spidey, what do you really think of KSA

Spidey, what's next now that this story is ending  
**  
****Ash****, what do you think of Gen V**

Spidey what's the most recent nightmare you've had

Freddy, if you were in charge, how would it have happened directly? Were you  
in charge?

Spidey: Meh, I figure it's a chance to give the characters with very few questions some spotlight anyway.

Norman: Oh, I find all pranks to be a bit silly. Mother won't let me have candy. Noone in particular. MOST CERTAINLY NOT!

"mother": Making someone dress up in their mother's clothes and stab people. It's hilarious, but terrifying. Reeses Pieces. Oh, I think quite a few people look good in chocolate. Taste good in chocolate too.

Frankenstien's Monster: Creating life…then running away like a coward. I'm looking at you, Frankenstein. I've never had candy. Well, that bride of mine would have looked GREAT in chocolate if SOMEONE hadn't decided at the last minute to destroy her. Yes.

Jigsaw: I've got this great one where you put someone in a room with a person they have every reason to kill, then give them more reasons to kill that person. It's hilarious. Hopefully they come out a better person too. I like any kind of candy bar. Well, I covered someone that stole candy from infants in chocolate once as part of a trap. No.

Bad Ash: Any prank that drives the prank-ee completely insane while at the same time crushing any and all hope and ultimately crushing their dreams is a good prank to me. Not a fan of candy. I prefer eyeballs. Ash; assuming that it's boiling hot chocolate and he either suffocates or is boiled alive. Why would I want to lick my goody-two-shoes self? What kind of selfcestuous bastard do you think I am?

Pennywise: I love all pranks, especially horrifying ones. Child-flavored. I eat chocolate covered children all the time.

Spidey: He's alright. He can be a bit of a dick sometimes, but he's not that bad. I have no idea. I was thinking of a story where someone is supposed to fight all of his friends, one by one, for reasons that aren't explained till the end of the story, but for all I know, I might write a story about a magical racoon who fights evil with super-powered farts. I'm random like that.

Ash: What's Gen V?

Spidey: You're never going to get an answer to that question.

Ash: I know.

Spidey: Last night I dreamed I'd killed someone in self-defense, and was about to turn myself in.

Freddy: Hell no. His dreams tend to be screwed up enough without my help.

Spidey: I may have issues. Well. I guess there's one last thing to do: leave the Earth royally screwed. –presses the "Unleash Horror Icon's" button-

(every character that has ever been in the fic is unleashed upon the Earth, including at least two anti-christ figures, a couple of elder gods, and god-knows-what-other horrors Spideys brought into the fic and forgotten about for years. Thousands of people are killed, civilization collapses, and no one will ever be safe again. Spidey has only one thing to say about this)

Spidey: I wonder what crazy thing I'll write next.

THE END.

This Chapter is dedicated to Skullblade, whose sheer awesomeness inspired me to write an ask fic in the first place; and to everyone who has reviewed this over the years. Happy Halloween, people.


End file.
